Single, Divorced, Older Folks - Would you marry again? (long-term, loving, separate)
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I hope you understand that we or I am speaking for me personally. Why marriage for ME at MY age is not bad but not something I want for myself and why I feel this way based on my life. Just so happens that a lot of us older women feel the same way. I am not saying in general that marriage later in life is bad for women or that all older men want taken care of.
Funny thing I was looking at the marriage license issued in my county the other day of the 5, 3 were couples 60 or over.
I have two daughters who are 20 and 23. Neither has any imminent plans for marriage, but we talk about their futures (individually) and I emphasize that they need to be prepared to make it on their own. Every decision they make needs to be in some sense reversible or any consequence from the decision accounted for. I want their life to work first for them, and then for anyone else they choose to include. I hear that that's what you're saying, too, and if I have a credo it's that; Make your life work for you while recognizing the other people your choices impact.
The rationale women used here, collectively, is what struck me. It's foreign to me. I don't know who these men are. I'm sure they exist, and I would likely have encountered them if I had romantic interest in men. But no.
I think you've spoken up a time or two when you thought women were being lumped together and someone's thought's about that lump cast you in an unfavorable role. That was my issue. If this had been a thread multiple posts about all the ways women are limited, as strange as that is to even consider, I think several of the active posters in this thread would object. Like I did, on behalf of
me(n).
But I've yet to run into a man who didn't think it was my responsibility to do the cooking and the cleaning. I hear a lot of lip service about it, but when push comes to shove, it's like I said to Homina: In every couple that I know of, when both parties work, cohabitation or marriage means more labor for the woman, less for the man.
You have a major point, I will concede that. Post #81 addresses this attitude, and presents why this situation exists. However, this is not always true. In my case, I was recently retired, and she still worked full time. I did all of the laundry, shopping, and most of the housework. By mutual agreement, she cleaned her own bathroom, and I did mine. Rather intimidating to walk into a lady's bathroom, "What is all this junk, and how the heck can I work around it and clean this place without breaking or misplacing something?" Because my cooking skills are very basic, she did do most of it. It would have been grossly unfair for me not to do these chores, she worked and I did not. I perhaps took care of 75% of the household tasks, and I did them voluntarily, she did not need to ask or coax. This arrangement worked.
Mine did cook but I cleaned up after which is just as hard. I also did most of the laundry and bought groceries.
My Ex had to relearn her way around a grocery store.
I'm not, I celebrate my divorces every year and I'm happier alone.
LOL Yeah, marriage is not for everyone.
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, I think several of the active posters in this thread would object. Like I did, on behalf of 
Because my cooking skills are very basic, she did do most of it. It would have been grossly unfair for me not to do these chores, she worked and I did not. I perhaps took care of 75% of the household tasks, and I did them voluntarily, she did not need to ask or coax. This arrangement worked.
