Would you date someone who was knowingly the other man/woman?
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I've never been in this position so never had to think about it.
I have seen some "other women/other men" in the workplace who were extremely predatory people...so yeah in some cases I think there would be occasion to question their character.
I am not so convinced they do have a moral obligation to a relationship that is not their own - or at least I am entirely unclear what that obligation may be if there is one.
I didn't say they did-- as humans, everyone has moral obligations, but to whom or to what is the difference.. People set their own limits, and sometimes society or religion sets those limits for them, which they follow without hesitation. Others may feel obligated to themselves to follow their heart no matter the consequences.. I mean, there are just so many variables here..
But there is no way to go through life without hurting people by taking something they want, be it a person, a job, an award, etc.
Where do you draw the line.
"But there is no way to go through life without hurting people by taking something they want"
True, we are competitive creatures and will do what we feel is in our best interest or our groups best interest.
"Where do you draw the line"
My line is like a Sine wave. Catch me on an altruistic day and I'll give you the shirt off my mom's back. Catch me out of work and hungry and I'll steel your cheese.
The moral obligation in my mind would be the desire to not cause pain in another human being
Even that is subjective. If a relationship has reached a point where a participant is willing to cheat - there is a likelyhood there is already pain. The relationship is better finished than continued under pain and pretense. The cheatee could simply be a stepping stone on that road to speed up the process.
Again however - the single person is not in a relationship. The people in the relationship have a moral obligation to that relationship. No one else does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
This would make sense if you think 'all the good ones are taken'
What has that to do with it? We are not shopping for products here. When you have fallen for a person - the other alternatives on the shelf have no meaning. The heart wants what it wants alas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217
I didn't say they did--
And I never said you said they did. Read it again.
"I am not so convinced they do have a moral obligation to a relationship that is not their own"
The moral obligation in my mind would be the desire to not cause pain in another human being (The married persons wife/husband and their children). I may view this differently (From a moral stand point)if those parties had checked out of the relationship and no children involved
In most cases, the married person has already checked out of the relationship. I'm not sure how the single person that the cheater is cheating with is supposed to have any real knowledge of the status of the marriage, other than what the cheater has told them. And I expect that MOST single people that get involved this way, are unaware of the person's marital status in the beginning. Just my view of course.
I'm actually glad that some people will tell you the kinds of things they would be willing to do; that way you can (try to) steer clear.
Are you saying that you think that a person that has had a past involvement with someone that was married, is a person to "steer clear" of? Really? Just based on that little piece of information you would write them off?
I have a very low tolerance for people who betray their spouses/sig. others. Very low. Personally, I can never have trust or faith in a known betrayer.
I also have zero tolerance for cheaters, and no respect for them. Considering that every time I turn around it's some married guy hitting on me-
I've lost hope that people can be
faithful these days.
(And women cheat just as much-
just way more sneakily.)
The cheaters deserve each other-
I like to think they'll get what's
coming to them, when they're cheated on
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. Catch me out of work and hungry and I'll steel your cheese
.
