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Believe me, I am not without sympathy, especially for our vets. I think it's a travesty of justice what they go through for their care in the U.S.
But when a cop flips out, you don't want to be in the room. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with that, but I've had friends and family who have, and it's not pretty. Been to cop suicide funerals, too. Not fun. In fact, the one LTR I had with a DC cop back in my 20s, I remember him telling me I should invest in a black dress. He was right.
I think you are talking more about the career military guys. What about those who served four years or eight years. They have no problems transfer to the civilian world, Like my brother, for example.
Plus, my brother does not suffer from PTSD at all although he has done ops overseas. My friend in the Marine Corps (in my album) suffers from PTSD, he happened to be the sweetest smartest guy on earth. He is really an amazing father and a great husband. So not everybody suffers from PTSD can be violent. He also never cheated.
I know a lot of Marines. These are group of very proud guys with distinguish personality. Yes, they do shut down if nobody bother to understand them, but they are very sweet to people in their close inner circles. They happened to take care of me my entire life. I have never experienced this type of loyalty in other civilian groups. Semper Fi (always faithful) does make a lot of sense
I am not one of their "brothers", but I am one of their sister. They always have my back, I love Marines.
I however, would not recommend anybody date or get married to active duty combat Marines. That is not good for them, or for the girls.
IF the Marine Corps want you to get married, they will issue you a wife already.
But Veterans (some of them) make great husbands. Plus, only small minority group of Military guys would see combat, a lot of them work behind a desk, they have stable pay, great benefits. They retire after 20 years, etc.
In term of being religious, this is true. Most of combat Marines I know are religious because they do need to have something (faith) to hold on to. In the battle field, it is not about politics, freedom, you or I or the country or the corps. It is about Marines fighting with them. They have to take care of each other in order to survive. It is just so sad that not many people understand this kind of mentality.
Only 1% is currently serving in the country, the burden of war is on very small group of people. It is a sad situation.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 04-18-2014 at 08:57 PM..
I think you are talking more about the career military guys. What about those who served four years or eight years. They have no problems transfer to the civilian world, Like my brother, for example.
Plus, my brother does not suffer from PTSD at all although he has done ops overseas. My friend in the Marine (in my album) suffers from PTSD, he happened to be the sweetest smartest guy on earth. He is really an amazing father and a great husband. So not everybody suffers from PTSD can be violent.
I know a lot of Marines. These are group of very proud guys with distinguish personality. Yes, they do shut down if nobody bother to understand them, but they are very sweet to people in their close circles. They happened to take care of me my entire life. I have never experienced this type of loyalty in other civilian groups.
I am not one of their "brothers", but I am one of their sister. They always have my back, I love Marines.
I however, would not recommend anybody date or get married to active duty combat vets. That is not good for them, or for the girls.
IF the Marine Corps want you to get married, they will issue you a wife already.
But Veterans (some of them) make great husbands.
Not all of them have all of the issues I mentioned. But there is a much higher rate of a lot of those things among them because of what they see and do.
My ex-hub was a short-timer. Came back from Bosnia with tales of Serbs putting bodies through meat-grinders Fargo-style. Basically, I'm done hearing tales of the rotten things humans are capable of doing to one another. I'm a very strong woman. Probably too strong. But I'm tired. This last relationship with a LEO was enough, hearing about people beating their 80-year-old mothers with lead pipes, people stabbing and raping their own children, men beating their wives beyond recognition, gangs, drugs, people who ought to be in institutions but end up in the criminal justice system instead, MRSA, HIV, people so neglected and deranged their socks merge with their flesh, right down to being targeted themselves, with being told not to wear white t-shirts with their uniforms, because the flash of white at the collar gives thugs something to aim for. Just done.
And the best part is that you'd think they wouldn't want anything to do with a tree-huggin' left-wing, next-best-thing-to-Socialist, take-no-chit atheist feminist like me...
I always avoided military, because I was pretty convinced that I'd have nothing in common with them, that they'd be in fundamental disagreement with my basic life's philosophies, being as lefty as I am. Then I met my match in a card-carrying Democrat, social justice-oriented bleeding heart liberal, former inner city school teacher-turned Navy Chief, and realized I was wrong about that. My husband's tree hugging is of a level I could not reach in three lifetimes. Stereotypes are just that.
Not all of them have all of the issues I mentioned. But there is a much higher rate of a lot of those things among them because of what they see and do.
My ex-hub was a short-timer. Came back from Bosnia with tales of Serbs putting bodies through meat-grinders Fargo-style. Basically, I'm done hearing tales of the rotten things humans are capable of doing to one another. I'm a very strong woman. Probably too strong. But I'm tired. This last relationship with a LEO was enough, hearing about people beating their 80-year-old mothers with lead pipes, people stabbing and raping their own children, men beating their wives beyond recognition, gangs, drugs, people who ought to be in institutions but end up in the criminal justice system instead, MRSA, HIV, people so neglected and deranged their socks merge with their flesh, right down to being targeted themselves, with being told not to wear white t-shirts with their uniforms, because the flash of white at the collar gives thugs something to aim for. Just done.
That is true. My mother begged my brother to leave Marine Corps after four years. He served two years as reserve afterward. If he had to stay in the Marine Corps longer, he was not going to make it, he perhaps would be dead already. I want my brother to live, I don't want him dead.
Yes, what you have posted makes a lot of sense. That is why I always tell my friends, don't date an active duty combat Marine, it is not good for you or them.
I always avoided military, because I was pretty convinced that I'd have nothing in common with them, that they'd be in fundamental disagreement with my basic life's philosophies, being as lefty as I am. Then I met my match in a card-carrying Democrat, social justice-oriented bleeding heart liberal, former inner city school teacher-turned Navy Chief, and realized I was wrong about that. My husband's tree hugging is of a level I could not reach in three lifetimes. Stereotypes are just that.
Oh, believe me. I know a fellow who changed his MOS to combat rescue because he was so, ah, "unconvinced" that we needed to go into Iraq that he figured "at least this way I can try to bring people home alive."
The lefties are there. My ex-hub was a leftie. His uncle, who was in the Navy and in the Pentagon on September 11, was as left as they come.
But by and large, that's the exception, not the rule.
Yes, what you have posted makes a lot of sense. That is why I always tell my friends, don't date an active duty combat Marine, it is not good for you or them.
I still would like to know why it's not good for them.
That is true. My mother begged my brother to leave Marine Corps after four years. He served two years as reserve afterward. If he had to stay in the Marine Corps longer, he was not going to make it, he perhaps would be dead already. I want my brother to live, I don't want him dead.
Yes, what you have posted makes a lot of sense. That is why I always tell my friends, don't date an active duty combat Marine, it is not good for you or them.
I get the sense the OP might be young, no older than mid-20s. It's all glamorous and romantic back then, the whole "man in a uniform" thing. But it takes some uber-strong women to cope with it. The joke is that military "dependents" are anything but.
And not for nothing, but it's heartbreaking. When you see what war does to the people who have to go and fight it, what it does to their psyches, how it deadens their eyes and scars their hearts, it's not so romantic anymore. It's not all 8th and I.
My dad was a WWII combat vet, Army Infantry in the European theater, Battle of the Bulge, the whole bit. To the day he died, he couldn't see a slate roof without having to stop what he was doing to compose himself, even if it meant pulling over on the side of the highway. Too many grenades destroying too many homes, and when slate shatters, it makes a particular sound. Wouldn't even put a gray roof on our house. We had a green roof, only one in the neighborhood. War does sh*t to you, and a lot of young women learn that the hard way when their men come home.
I still would like to know why it's not good for them.
I am going to ask you if you want me to give you politically correct answer, or the truth.
Reality is that combat Marines are always sent to hot area, (no matter how much others want to deny this, it is the God damn truth) the likelihood of death is pretty high.
They might come back suffering from PTSD, their whole personalities might change. Many women will not tolerate it, and they will accuse them of not contributing anything to the household.
Their marriages are not stable due to various of problems. It is a challenge for them to transfer back to civilian world. Most of the girlfriends and wives don't like to listen to their military experiences.
Many of my girlfriends have this romantic fantasy about military guys, especially combat vets, especially special force guys like my brother. I talk about my fantasy on this forum a lot, but in reality, I will never get married to a special force guy like my brother. My heart cannot handle it. I will never date or marry a combat vet. You have to live it to know what it is like. It is hell.
Of course there will always be exception to the rule. For my personality, nope. I cannot do it
Not all of them have all of the issues I mentioned. But there is a much higher rate of a lot of those things among them because of what they see and do.
My ex-hub was a short-timer. Came back from Bosnia with tales of Serbs putting bodies through meat-grinders Fargo-style. Basically, I'm done hearing tales of the rotten things humans are capable of doing to one another. I'm a very strong woman. Probably too strong. But I'm tired. This last relationship with a LEO was enough, hearing about people beating their 80-year-old mothers with lead pipes, people stabbing and raping their own children, men beating their wives beyond recognition, gangs, drugs, people who ought to be in institutions but end up in the criminal justice system instead, MRSA, HIV, people so neglected and deranged their socks merge with their flesh, right down to being targeted themselves, with being told not to wear white t-shirts with their uniforms, because the flash of white at the collar gives thugs something to aim for. Just done.
My brother was telling me last month that my nephew decided not to go to the Army and how elated he was. He was so elated, that he payed his full tuition to a University, bought him a new car, and get this....a home of his own (all payed in cash). He said it well worth every penny.
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