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GUY to self: (after multiple sessions of mind-blowing sex utilizing all the furniture in the house, the car's back seat, and even some semi-public locales over weeks/months): OMG, she's SO HOT! She's so sweet! She's so cool! How am I gonna keep her around? What if she falls for someone else?
(cogitate, cogitate. Scratches head)
Guy to girl: Will you move in with me?
Girl: I don't know. What do you have to offer?
Guy: An engagement ring! Marriage! Please, I can't live without you! Don't make me grovel!
Girl: hmm... OK.
If I wanted to buy myself a woman I would, but I don't want to buy anyone.
You also sign a contract in front of a judge with witness at the courthouse, but that hasn't helped reducing the many divorces from happening today.
The OP doesn't want to get married....period!!!!!! People should just respect that. And it's not a requirement to make babies. There's a lot of single divorced patents on here. Are people saying their child's situation is unstable, and their kids are going to be raised all f*cked up?
The OP doesn't have to marry anyone to have babies. His problem is that he's narrowing his prospects WAY down, because few women will agree to raising a family without commitment in the form of a ring and a document. There are some out there who will do that, but the chances that they'll be compatible with him are slim. So he's setting himself up to look for compatibility out of an extremely restricted pool of candidates. That's what people here have been trying to tell him.
It would be so much easier for him to get therapy for his issues relating to divorce and marriage, so he can increase his chances of finding the right woman.
GUY to self: (after multiple sessions of mind-blowing sex utilizing all the furniture in the house, the car's back seat, and even some semi-public locales over weeks/months): OMG, she's SO HOT! She's so sweet! She's so cool! How am I gonna keep her around? What if she falls for someone else?
(cogitate, cogitate. Scratches head)
Guy to girl: Will you move in with me?
Girl: I don't know. What do you have to offer?
Guy: An engagement ring! Marriage! Please, I can't live without you! Don't make me grovel!
Girl: hmm... OK.
Thankfully, guys are becoming smarter than this. OP seems to have his head on straight in this regard.
Do you actually have a concrete benefit that men receive in marriage? Or another reason why they should do it?
How do you know this ? Has there been studies done that draw this conclusion or you just speculating ?
It's common knowledge that approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It is also common knowledge that many people can't afford to get a divorce and thus wait for a long period of time remaining married but not together.
Glad to see you're still reading, OP. Hopefully, with all the lame attempts to show you how great marriage is, you're resolved to never, ever do it.
In modern America, there is not one single benefit to a man getting married, none. Don't ever, ever do it.
You know, I am not a big fan of marriage and I won't ever do it again, but to say there are no benefits to men is misleading. As was mentioned, his paternal rights are the big one not to mention the financial, tax, and other benefits. There is a reason men are quicker to remarry after divorce and being widowed and there is a reason why gay men want the right to marry. Most marriages succeed. Close to 60% and that number grows every year as the divorce rate has gone down since its peak in 1979.
There are disadvantages in divorce (which is what you are really talking about--not marriage), and you brought up good points earlier. But that effects both parties. Divorce is fun for no one. I took a financial beating during my divorce. If a man is really worried about the financial problems of divorce (like alimony) the answer is simple, marry a woman who makes more than you do and always encourage her career--even at the expense of your own. Almost all states are gender blind when it comes to divorce and money.
But of course, this is all aside from the Op. This isn't a debate about marriage vs. non-marriage (which this has turned in to). The OP wants to find a woman who will have children with him out of wedlock. Those women are out there, but not easy to find. A lot are financially independent themselves and don't want to be tied down to a husband (or risk their money in divorce). It would serve the Op well to do his research to find out what's best for him... espically looking into paternal rights in his state, common law marriage (if it should come to that), and marriage itself. He might actually have more security (with his paternal rights) and advantages in marriage. He should really look into it and then decide.
MJ7, maybe you haven't met a woman that you liked enough.
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