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so what if it seems creepy, girls know the game, go for it.. if you don't do it someone else will and prolly get in her pants before you know it. Happened a few times to me at workplaces, i see this girl that i like, i hesitate or not summon enough courage to approach, next time i know she's banging some other creep douche co-worker that got nothing on you, why? because he moved in quick and the only thought that comes to your head is "man that should had been me".
so what if it seems creepy, girls know the game, go for it.. if you don't do it someone else will and prolly get in her pants before you know it. Happened a few times to me at workplaces, i see this girl that i like, i hesitate or not summon enough courage to approach, next time i know she's banging some other creep douche co-worker that got nothing on you, why? because he moved in quick and the only thought that comes to your head is "man that should had been me".
That someone else isn't going to be a person too afraid to even say hi.
so what if it seems creepy, girls know the game, go for it.. if you don't do it someone else will and prolly get in her pants before you know it. Happened a few times to me at workplaces, i see this girl that i like, i hesitate or not summon enough courage to approach, next time i know she's banging some other creep douche co-worker that got nothing on you, why? because he moved in quick and the only thought that comes to your head is "man that should had been me".
I still wouldn't take that chance. If I don't know her in real life, I don't message her or friend her on Facebook.
My previous area was bad. It was a little more upscale than my current area. However, people over there just wanted to make trouble for me. I've had all kinds of stories and false accusations made up about me. The last straw was when I was getting harassed in many different ways including sexually by this creep. I knew it was no use letting others know in my old area seeing that I was public enemy number 1 over there. I did have a few friends who understood what was going on.
To top it off, it was the kind of guy that I would never have touched with a thousand mile poll if I was gay. It was not flattering. It wasn't like "Oh I admire you and want to be with you." It was more like "I am going to take you and do this and that to you and there is nothing you can do about it. "
By the time I came to my current area (the slum), I have adopted what is known as the b--ch shield. Imagine, a 6'-something dude with a b--ch shield. I didn't want to talk to anyone and I was in the process of saving money and just moving on. Then I noticed something, there was no legend circulating about me. As a matter of fact, I haven't dealt with a cop once in my current area because someone made up some kind of tall tale.
In the year I have been in the area, I have gained more friends. I have found myself in a relationship, we are kinda on and off right now (right now, off). A lot has changed in such a way that my mind is having trouble catching up with my new status.
Anyway, I'm rambling on. I can see how guys are often branded as creeps. I can also see why some women aren't very approachable. As a guy, I am very big about my personal space. And I hate when guys I don't know go out of their way to get in my personal space. It rubs me the wrong way when a woman I don't know gets in my personal space. If there is a mile of room around me, you do not have to get that close to me.
I said all of that to say, guys, don't be afraid to approach. But when you approach, talk to her like a normal person. Do not throw out any canned lines. It is really simple. With the right approach (which is a straight forward friendly approach), a rejection shouldn't be that bad. Women love being approached (in certain contexts). They love it when guys make conversation and take an actual interest in her. If you try any "tricks and techniques", it will most likely backfire on you. Go hide behind a screen to talk to her, then you are just communicating that there is something wrong with you.
There are usually two parties to the rejection. You and the other person. If you approached in a friendly and sensible way and she rejects you, the nature of the rejection will say more about her than you.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 04-29-2014 at 11:54 AM..
My previous area was bad. It was a little more upscale than my current area. However, people over there just wanted to make trouble for me. I've had all kinds of stories and false accusations made up about me. The last straw was when I was getting harassed in many different ways including sexually by this creep. I knew it was no use letting others know in my old area seeing that I was public enemy number 1 over there. I did have a few friends who understood what was going on.
To top it off, it was the kind of guy that I would never have touched with a thousand mile poll if I was gay. It was not flattering. It wasn't like "Oh I admire you and want to be with you." It was more like "I am going to take you and do this and that to you and there is nothing you can do about it.
By the time I came to my current area (the slum), I have adopted what is known as the b--ch shield. Imagine, a 6'-something dude with a b--ch shield. I didn't want to talk to anyone and I was in the process of saving money and just moving on. Then I noticed something, there was no legend circulating about me. As a matter of fact, I haven't dealt with a cop once in my current area because someone made up some kind of tall tale.
In the year I have been in the area, I have gained more friends. I have found myself in a relationship, we are kinda on and off right now (right now, off). A lot has changed in such a way that my mind is having trouble catching up with my new status.
Anyway, I'm rambling on. I can see how guys are often branded as creeps. I can also see why some women aren't very approachable. As a guy, I am very big about my personal space. And I hate when guys I don't know go out of their way to get in my personal space. It rubs me the wrong way when a woman I don't know gets in my personal space. If there is a mile of room around me, you do not have to get that close to me.
I said all of that to say, guys, don't be afraid to approach. But when you approach, talk to her like a normal person. Do not throw out any canned lines. It is really simple. With the right approach (which is a straight forward friendly approach), a rejection shouldn't be that bad. Women love being approached (in certain contexts). They love it when guys make conversation and take an actual interest in her. If you try any "tricks and techniques", it will most likely backfire on you. Go hide behind a screen to talk to her, then you are just communicating that there is something wrong with you.
There are usually two parties to the rejection. You and the other person. If you approached in a friendly and sensible way and she rejects you, the nature of the rejection will say more about her than you.
I'm sorry you had a rough life but I'm hoping you have a great change and new beginning yet to come.
You are right about personal space, noone likes their bubble invaded in the beginning. Lines don't always work to an extent.
I agree in-person seems better to meet a person.Although some can still be creepy this way.
My previous area was bad. It was a little more upscale than my current area. However, people over there just wanted to make trouble for me. I've had all kinds of stories and false accusations made up about me. The last straw was when I was getting harassed in many different ways including sexually by this creep. I knew it was no use letting others know in my old area seeing that I was public enemy number 1 over there. I did have a few friends who understood what was going on.
To top it off, it was the kind of guy that I would never have touched with a thousand mile poll if I was gay. It was not flattering. It wasn't like "Oh I admire you and want to be with you." It was more like "I am going to take you and do this and that to you and there is nothing you can do about it.
By the time I came to my current area (the slum), I have adopted what is known as the b--ch shield. Imagine, a 6'-something dude with a b--ch shield. I didn't want to talk to anyone and I was in the process of saving money and just moving on. Then I noticed something, there was no legend circulating about me. As a matter of fact, I haven't dealt with a cop once in my current area because someone made up some kind of tall tale.
In the year I have been in the area, I have gained more friends. I have found myself in a relationship, we are kinda on and off right now (right now, off). A lot has changed in such a way that my mind is having trouble catching up with my new status.
Anyway, I'm rambling on. I can see how guys are often branded as creeps. I can also see why some women aren't very approachable. As a guy, I am very big about my personal space. And I hate when guys I don't know go out of their way to get in my personal space. It rubs me the wrong way when a woman I don't know gets in my personal space. If there is a mile of room around me, you do not have to get that close to me.
I said all of that to say, guys, don't be afraid to approach. But when you approach, talk to her like a normal person. Do not throw out any canned lines. It is really simple. With the right approach (which is a straight forward friendly approach), a rejection shouldn't be that bad. Women love being approached (in certain contexts). They love it when guys make conversation and take an actual interest in her. If you try any "tricks and techniques", it will most likely backfire on you. Go hide behind a screen to talk to her, then you are just communicating that there is something wrong with you.
There are usually two parties to the rejection. You and the other person. If you approached in a friendly and sensible way and she rejects you, the nature of the rejection will say more about her than you.
Great post! I think we really need to address rejection though. If you ask someone out and they say no, it's not a reflection of your self-worth or value. It simply means that in that moment, with that person, it didn't work out the way you expected it to.
Whether or not you were realistic with your expectations is another thing. You really should expect that cold approaching, and depending on how you behave and what you say, the majority will say no. It's not the end of the world, and if you think it is, you really need to work on improving your attitude. You will not want to go out with just as many people as don't want to go out with you.
So, I have a dilemma. I'm pretty low in the self-confidence area, but a girl from my work, I believe, has been giving me signs of interest. A few times I look and see that's she made eye-contact with me, and on two occasions she's seen me go into the vending machine room, and went in herself. I know I should've started a conversation in there, but I freaked, and my mind went blank. :/ She even said hi, but my throat literally went dry and I didn't say anything. So now she probably thinks I'm not interested or a jerk.
I've always had social anxiety and I'm not very experienced with relationships, at all. My question, would it be too creepy to cold message her on FB and just say "hey" and see if I get a response?
Some details worth mentioning: Even though she works at the same location, she's not in the same department. I really can't spark up a convo with her without it being obvious what I'm doing. So, I'm kind of stuck on what I should do.
You should not FB stalk her. She is technically a colleague at work and you should maintain your boundaries.
Hang it up. You're dead in the water. Nothing's going to happen here because you are already so worked up about it, even if you do get a chance to meet her you're just going to stumble.
I don't want to discourage you, but in my experience that's how it rolls.
You have to be VERY careful when it comes to picking up co-workers, even if you are low on the totem pole. You should do so if you have already established a connection with her and it is genuine or if you have a friend or intermediary trying to fix you up.
Hitting on coworkers directly is a very dangerous way of going about things.
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It was not flattering. It wasn't like "Oh I admire you and want to be with you." It was more like "I am going to take you and do this and that to you and there is nothing you can do about it. "
I didn't want to talk to anyone and I was in the process of saving money and just moving on. Then I noticed something, there was no legend circulating about me. As a matter of fact, I haven't dealt with a cop once in my current area because someone made up some kind of tall tale.
It is really simple. With the right approach (which is a straight forward friendly approach), a rejection shouldn't be that bad. Women love being approached (in certain contexts). They love it when guys make conversation and take an actual interest in her. If you try any "tricks and techniques", it will most likely backfire on you. Go hide behind a screen to talk to her, then you are just communicating that there is something wrong with you. 
