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People still have these very antiquated notions of porn, masturbation and etc.
Honestly if I were a woman, I would worry if I found out my husband or boyfriend did not have at least some interest in porn, or admitted to watching it from time to time. I would find it suspicious.
If a couple is willing to enjoy it together, I think it reflects a high level of comfort with each other and trust.
These days there are even separate sub-genres intended for couples and straight females.
In moderation, porn is fine and not anything to be ashamed about or to consider potentially harmful or dangerous.
I am happy to say that my boyfriend does not have any interest in porn. When he was a teenager, he found his dad's stash of Playboy magazines. lol. But now that he is an adult, he sees no need to view it or collect it. I also have no interest in looking at porn. We have no interest in any outside inspiration. So we are a well matched couple.
I'm with Greenie, there should only be two people in a relationship.
If a couple is willing to enjoy it together, I think it reflects a high level of comfort with each other and trust.
A man who is comfortable in a relationship, does not need to watch porn. Too many times I find women participating in these sorts of activities with men (porn, threesomes, strip clubs) because they think it's what they need to do to please their partner. It has very little to do with the woman, and ultimately she is often left feeling as objectified and used as the women who are putting on the performances.
If a man wants me to watch porn with him, he is not the man for me.
Honestly if I were a woman, I would worry if I found out my husband or boyfriend did not have at least some interest in porn, or admitted to watching it from time to time. I would find it suspicious.
I guess that my 26 year old boyfriend is old fashioned and a gentleman. And it seems fine to me that he doesn't like porn. I've know other men like him. They are rare, but they do exist. Basically, men that aren't interested in porn have other interests and passions in life. And I am the same way. I do like and enjoy sex, but honestly I have a lot of other things I like to do as much. Having sex is not the high point in my day. It's an enjoyable bodily function just like savoring a good meal. If I couldn't have sex, I would miss it, but I wouldn't get depressed about the lack of it either.
You know, I'm a little offended by people suggesting there is something wrong with a relationship when porn is involved. :\ I've never felt *forced* to watch porn with a partner and in fact I often enjoy it. Most of my female friends agree with me. Maybe it's a generational thing?
I also had the misfortune (:P) of running across my parents' porn collection last year. They have been happily married for over 30 years and together in a committed, monogamous relationship for 40 years- since they were 13 and 15. If that's what they need in their love life to keep it going after 40 years then more power to them.
I really don't see a difference between racy romance novels for women and porn for men. It's not hurting anyone as long as both partners are alright with it- and I certainly see nothing wrong with a partner looking at porn as long as he is not disconnecting from me.
I have nothing but respect for how you and your boyfriend relate intimately and otherwise. However, I respectfully disagree about some of your generalizations.
I'm sure there are many well-rounded gentlemen (like myself ) and ladies for whom watching porn is but one aspect of their lives. Also, depending on how my day goes, intimacy has often been the highlight... sometimes after a good meal. And heaven forbid I find myself single again, I would definitely miss it... which would bring me back full circle to porn.
But seriously, I know there are porn addicts out there. I don't consider myself one of them. Honesty at or near the beginning of a relationship will prevent surprises like this from happening.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
I guess that my 26 year old boyfriend is old fashioned and a gentleman. And it seems fine to me that he doesn't like porn. I've know other men like him. They are rare, but they do exist. Basically, men that aren't interested in porn have other interests and passions in life. And I am the same way. I do like and enjoy sex, but honestly I have a lot of other things I like to do as much. Having sex is not the high point in my day. It's an enjoyable bodily function just like savoring a good meal. If I couldn't have sex, I would miss it, but I wouldn't get depressed about the lack of it either.
A man who is comfortable in a relationship, does not need to watch porn. Too many times I find women participating in these sorts of activities with men (porn, threesomes, strip clubs) because they think it's what they need to do to please their partner. It has very little to do with the woman, and ultimately she is often left feeling as objectified and used as the women who are putting on the performances.
If a man wants me to watch porn with him, he is not the man for me.
I don't think any partner should be compelled to do something that they are truly uncomfortable with. I know that what you say happens sometimes but I like to think that it is the exception rather than the rule. I wouldn't necessarily pursue those other two options but I don't begrudge a willing couple to pursue those interests either. Different strokes for different folks...
BTW in the beginning of our relationship, I never indicated to my boyfriend that I didn't care for porn. And he has no reason to hide his true feelings about it with me. A guy that is into some amount of porn is the norm and I wouldn't not date a man that had some on his computer or had magazines. As long as a man isn't addicted to sex or porn, I am willing to consider a relationship with him. But honestly, a guy that doesn't care at all for porn does impress me and gets my extra respect. I also don't care for men that are into serious girl watching. If you are a horndog, then you are not the man for me.
But different strokes for different folks. And I don't mind if other couples are into porn or kinkier stuff. It's none of my concern. All I care about is what goes on in my relationship.
As a single women I watch porn; I enjoy it, but it's definately no substitute for the real thing. (I do find the sound annoying so I mute it.) I also have no problems watching with my partner when I am in a relationship; it can be fun when you trust eachother. It is one of those things you should be genuinely comfortable with and NEVER do just to please someone else or it will backfire.
I have no interest watching people with the fake moans. It's a turnoff.
WHEW!!! Women don't really moan like that??? What a freakin' RELIEF!!! All this time I thought I was horrible at sex and now am vindicated!!!!
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) and ladies for whom watching porn is but one aspect of their lives. Also, depending on how my day goes, intimacy has often been the highlight... sometimes after a good meal. 
And heaven forbid I find myself single again, I would definitely miss it... which would bring me back full circle to porn. 
