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Old 04-30-2014, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 91,640,061 times
Reputation: 39991

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This came up in conversation with one of my sons recently.

He has a good friend who has a very large tattoo of his wife's name - "Colleen" - on his neck.

He is now divorcing and lacks the funds to have the tat removed, plus he really likes it.

I'm just wondering how his next SO is going to feel about having to live with that tattoo.

Then I read this letter to Dear Abby and it seems to confirm that this could be an issue for a lot of people.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We live together, and his child from another woman lives with us. I love my boyfriend and his child, but one thing prevents me from imagining us being married: He has his child's mother's name tattooed on his body.

The tattoo bothers me for many reasons, and I'd like him to have it covered up if we ever do marry. He says he doesn't want to get rid of it. When the topic comes up, we argue.

Am I unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of the tattoo? If that woman really is in his past, why does he need a constant reminder of her on his body? -- IN A STINK OVER INK

How would YOU handle a situation like this?
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:34 AM
 
73 posts, read 75,784 times
Reputation: 97
Would be a major red flag for me. But I wouldn't date a woman with a tat on her neck anyway, no matter what it was. Don't get me wrong, I have some tats, but neck tats, face tats and places like back of the hands and lower arms are just not classy to me...

The ex's name only makes it worse.
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
11,197 posts, read 14,210,088 times
Reputation: 17425
It's a boneheaded move to tattoo anyone's name on themselves, With the exception of their children's names or mom and dad's. I don't blame her for being miffed. He got it on his neck so it's bonus points for a poor decision.
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,409 posts, read 27,560,629 times
Reputation: 16548
He should say it was a friend who died lol
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 91,640,061 times
Reputation: 39991
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
He should say it was a friend who died lol
Yeah, wondering if it would feel more acceptable to a new partner if it was one of those memorial tattoos?
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
9,639 posts, read 7,053,259 times
Reputation: 46995
He will have to pay for his own stupidity...
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:55 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
38,461 posts, read 28,460,525 times
Reputation: 35888
People who aren't the brightest bulbs on the block are the types to get tattoos like this. They're also probably the types to not care about and even expect things like this.
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:59 AM
 
Location: So Cal
43,826 posts, read 42,915,851 times
Reputation: 44915
I'll try to resist putting on my "judgy" hat, as others have pointed out the silliness of a tattoo on the neck, but that being said, I mostly side with the spouse that wants it removed. I get that it's someone's body and you shouldn't force something like that on another and I also get why a woman wouldn't want to see "colleen" on her husbands neck.......

Tough spot to be in.

Kinda wondering what would initially make a man appealing to a woman when he has a big tat of another womans name on his neck.... that's the part that is confusing me.......
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Old 04-30-2014, 09:04 AM
 
1,744 posts, read 984,017 times
Reputation: 3400
i was with a guy not long ago, we were together for three years, who had his ex-wives name on his upper arm. i hated that darn thing. at first i asked him if he ever intended to cover it or get it removed. nope. he hadn't thought about that. had no intention of covering it or removing it. later i'd bring it up again. i had to be honest and tell him that it really bothered me to be there in bed with him and to look over or to be intimate with him and to see her name right there on his body. we talked marriage now and then but i couldn't marry someone with his ex's name right there on his arm. it was a big deal to me. he's a surfer and is frequently at the beach without a shirt on. it was always out there for all to see. eventually one day he showed up and had a shark tattoo over it. i was so happy he did that. we didn't make it, but at least i helped the next woman who wouldn't have to deal with that darn tattoo.

i'd think long and hard before getting involved again with someone with an ex's name on their body, especially in a spot where i would have to look at it all the time. in fact, i wouldn't do it again. maybe since i'm trying OLD and i am going on dates now i should have them all strip down so i can make sure.

i have my son's name on my wrist, but that's completely different.
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Old 04-30-2014, 09:12 AM
 
12,582 posts, read 14,551,413 times
Reputation: 15097
I can see marrying her,
Having a few kids with her.
A TATTOO? That is so permanent!!!!
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