Mid 30s men never married no kids... (dating, long-term, long distance)
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Do you want to get married?...are you just waiting for the right one?...or do you like the bachelor life? Have you stopped taking dating serious by your mid 30s b/c all the games women play (or for other reasons)?
For the single men in their 30s on this Forum....what do you want out of dating and what are you willing to put in to get what you want?
34 year old male here, no plans or desire to get married. I'm not totally discounting the possibility, but the "right one" would have to be pretty ridiculously awesome to get me to even think about it. Rare indeed (as in, I've never met anyone that would fit such a description).
It has nothing to do with games, I just get more out of casual relationships. What do I get out of it? Diversity, passion/enthusiasm, sexual satisfaction. A good way to sum it up is to take a relationship where the passion had died down (a lot of us have been there)....well, by dating casually, I'm constantly in the "exciting" phase. As a guy who gets bored easily, it takes that kind of lifestyle to keep me from being the one that inevitably MAKES things boring.
What do I have to put in? The big two: time and money. To be honest, it can get exhausting. First world problems, I know...but I'm in a relatively new job that takes a TON of my time, and so lately, I haven't had the physical energy to go out as much as I used to. The money aspect isn't as big of a deal now, partially because I have a pretty good income, partially because it's going towards things I enjoy doing anyway(dates, events, etc.) and partially because I don't have to worry about it being taken away from me as part of a legal judgment due to divorce, etc. It's dating: what's mine is mine, what's hers is hers, and if things start to get dull, we go on our merry way.
I'm in my mid-30s and never married... this was mostly because I was traveling and living abroad from 25 up until now and it was hard to find a stable relationship that wouldn't tie me to a place I didn't want to live long-term. And I guess other things too.
Actually, I don't think I was ready for a relationship... I wasn't really settled or sure about what I wanted. And I didn't meet anyone that I really liked.
I'm in a relationship now with someone who is probably the one... but I don't really want to get married. I don't know if I could ever live one of those conventional lives, really.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Good post, Hivemind.
I'm in my early 40s, but of a similar mindset.
That said, I've met two women that I would have been happy to marry / wanted to marry (one I would have loved to have a family with too). One has and had no desire to ever marry (she states now she'll never live with another person either) and is more into being free. The other one wants to get married, but I was into her more than she into me... and we were mostly long distance. She's now living with a guy. Oh well.
I really don't see it happening again and I'm of Hivemind's view.
Do you want to get married?...are you just waiting for the right one?...or do you like the bachelor life? Have you stopped taking dating serious by your mid 30s b/c all the games women play (or for other reasons)?
For the single men in their 30s on this Forum....what do you want out of dating and what are you willing to put in to get what you want?
The only reason why I would get married is because I want to have kids one day. But If I didn't want kids, I would NEVER get married. I love women, I love dating, but I also love being able to go home and not deal with some nagging woman. And the freedom to come and go as I please.
No intention of getting married. For me to even consider it, the woman would really have to knock my socks off (unlikely), or I would have to have something tremendous to gain, something akin to a golden parachute. ($$$)
I actually don't date at all, haven't for about 3 years (save for random dates here or there). Even the random dates, I only go on them when a woman pursues me really hard and won't take "no" for an answer. I figure she's putting herself out there, which is admirable, so I might as well humor her.
And yes, it is because of games that have been played with me. But not just that...the time, the effort, the sh*t tests, the drama...I've got no use for it. Quite simply, there are no positives that a woman could bring to my life that wouldn't be outweighed by negatives.
What do I want out of dating? Nothing. What am I willing to give? Nothing. It's an equation that balances out pretty easily.
Do you want to get married?...are you just waiting for the right one?...or do you like the bachelor life? Have you stopped taking dating serious by your mid 30s b/c all the games women play (or for other reasons)?
For the single men in their 30s on this Forum....what do you want out of dating and what are you willing to put in to get what you want?
I'm 42 and I don't see the any benefit to getting married and/or having kids.
In my 30s and I like to come and go as I please and live a very care free life. If I could find a woman like me I might be open to getting married. Most of the women I have met in my life do not appreciate a relaxed care free life. They like drama, big houses, nice cars, spending loads of money on plastic junk from China and lots of other things that require you to become a life long debt slave and work in some salt mine for 50+ hours a week for half your life. No thank you.
I tend to agree with what most of the other guys are saying here. Most of it rings pretty true.
However, I will say: I would absolutely love to have a long-term partner. I actually like being in love, having the camaraderie & companionship, someone to enjoy going out, going to events, traveling the world with, sharing a future and life experiences with... and let's face it, WAY more sex in the convenience of a solidified relationship (at least that's been my experience).
On the kids side of it, I don't really want them, and even if I did, I don't know where they fit into my life. Like a lot of my friends, my brother and his friends, co-workers, etc., I want to couple up and do all the above things without kids (babies, especially) before having them... so by the time I would be having kids with said woman, I'd end up being a rich geezer with a boat on the Caribbean when they were in their teens, maybe even earlier. How does that work exactly? Pawn them off on someone else?
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