Dating someone with a lot of baggage. Is it worth it?

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

What would I do??? I would run as fast as I could from this guy. You are just opening up a can-o-worms to stick around someone with these kinds of problems!

I'd say...

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by NooYowkur81

I very recently started dating a woman. Physically she is totally my type. I like her personality. We also have a lot of things in common. She seems to have a good heart, and seems like a good person.

However, she has quite the bit of baggage. She recently just got out of a 3 year relationship. She also has untreated depression. Not to mention she's got financial issues that add to her depression and baggage.

Her behavior can be very erratic. When she's up, she spontaneous and fun and it's great, when she's down things get awkward. At times I feel like I'm being a little cold, but I just don't want to invest myself too much, considering the risks.

All this stuff is ringing up warning bells in my head. A part of me wants to run away, but part of me wants to give her a chance. I'm torn because I like her and I want to help her, but I also don't want to expose myself and end up hurt, or just end up being used as some kinda rebound shoulder to cry on guy.

Any advice?

Go with your gut. Imagine eventually marrying this woman. Traits that were slightly annoying when you're first dating will undoubtedly magnify 1000 times while you're married to the person. If she's got these problems now, and you are annoyed by them or don't feel comfortable with them, break it off and move on. Plenty of alternatives who no doubt are better suited. Why settle?

If I were feeling the way you do, I'd move on, feeling fortunate that I dodged the bullet.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by NooYowkur81

I very recently started dating a woman. Physically she is totally my type. I like her personality. We also have a lot of things in common. She seems to have a good heart, and seems like a good person.

However, she has quite the bit of baggage. She recently just got out of a 3 year relationship. She also has untreated depression. Not to mention she's got financial issues that add to her depression and baggage.

Her behavior can be very erratic. When she's up, she spontaneous and fun and it's great, when she's down things get awkward. At times I feel like I'm being a little cold, but I just don't want to invest myself too much, considering the risks.

All this stuff is ringing up warning bells in my head. A part of me wants to run away, but part of me wants to give her a chance. I'm torn because I like her and I want to help her, but I also don't want to expose myself and end up hurt, or just end up being used as some kinda rebound shoulder to cry on guy.

Any advice?

I have an idea...why don't you discuss your thoughts with her...openly and honestly...and even if at this point your just friends, not physically intimate, it seems that your mentally intimate, b/c you stress the fact that you want to help, so you can, without getting invested and to boot, you might learn something along the way.

Your not dating anyone else now...and you seem to care...therefore, why don't you get her into counseling...go with her...take that step and communicate and take action....it may prove very knowledgeable, not to mention, help you make a clearer decission, and even if the relationship doesn't flower down the road, at least you can then walk away knowing, that you tried...and you'll know at the time, when and how....

If it were me, that is what I'd do, and if he refused to go, then, I'd leave.

Just my thoughts?

Good Luck
Creme