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That's probably because you're not a woman in her mid-30s with a desire to have some babies. As enjoyable as the time may have been, it's still time she cannot get back. Think of some lazy Sunday around 5 p.m., worrying about the things you should have accomplished.
I'm assuming she hasn't wanted babies for the entire 13 years or hopefully she would have left 'after year two' if that's what she wanted back then.
my girlfriend and i have been together for 13 years. We get along very well and i like her not only because she's beautiful and intelligent but because she allows us to keep our own personal spaces. No nagging or trying to control every move. We frequently travel on our own or with friends and go out at night with our own friends. Of course we do that together as well but it doesn't have to be all the time.
We've always lived apart even though we obviously spend weekends and holidays together.
Lately, however, she has been mentioning marriage a lot. I don't know if it's because many of our friends have married in the past 2 years and she's fascinated with that. I've caught her looking at wedding dresses in magazines/the web and if we are guests at a wedding she'll say things like "isn't that beautiful? Just imagine it was us there."
i've been trying to avoid the issue because she knows my position regarding marriage better than anyone else but if she goes on acting like this i'll have to ask her what's going through her head.
Do you think i should talk with her or just ignore the issue and it'll go away on its own?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
That's probably because you're not a woman in her mid-30s with a desire to have some babies. As enjoyable as the time may have been, it's still time she cannot get back. Think of some lazy Sunday around 5 p.m., worrying about the things you should have accomplished.
Well, no, I'm not, but it still isn't a "waste".
If she really wanted a baby or babies she could have had them. I know several women that have done so because they knew it is something they really wanted. That was her choice and is her choice now.
What do you mean exactly? I'm just saying she already knows my position regarding this.
She knows what your position WAS. She's dropping hints to see if your position has softened. She's not discussing it directly because your relationship isn't casual, it's a significant, long-term relationship. However, from what you've said, it sounds like she wants more. And if you don't, then the relationship is over. That's hard for either of you to initiate, the ending of this relationship. But I think that she's dropping hints to give you the power to decide. And since you don't want more from this relationship, but you clearly do care about her, you need to be honest, and tell her that you love her and want her to find what it is that she wants. Unfortunately, what she wants isn't going to happen with you.
Thank you very much for your input, I've read all pages.
Good for you for handling this like a mature adult. At times it can be difficult and painful for most of us to remain honest and authentic in a relationship especially when it may result in a parting of the ways. I wish you both the best.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 13 years. We get along very well and I like her not only because she's beautiful and intelligent but because she allows us to keep our own personal spaces. No nagging or trying to control every move. We frequently travel on our own or with friends and go out at night with our own friends. Of course we do that together as well but it doesn't have to be all the time.
We've always lived apart even though we obviously spend weekends and holidays together.
Lately, however, she has been mentioning marriage a lot. I don't know if it's because many of our friends have married in the past 2 years and she's fascinated with that. I've caught her looking at wedding dresses in magazines/the web and if we are guests at a wedding she'll say things like "Isn't that beautiful? Just imagine it was us there."
I've been trying to avoid the issue because she knows my position regarding marriage better than anyone else but if she goes on acting like this I'll have to ask her what's going through her head.
Do you think I should talk with her or just ignore the issue and it'll go away on its own?
Ummm, it's not going away. She's been dropping hints like confetti in Times Square on New Years Eve.
Clue in, man. Women do not like to date indefinitely. She's invested 13 years with you, which means she's been way more patient than 99% of the female population of the planet. So either go ahead and take the plunge or send her on her way.
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