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I don't know. I am very attracted to two married coworkers, but I don't like them because they're married. I like them because they're attractive and friendly. Basically, if I wouldn't be interested if they were single, I wouldn't suddenly become interested if they got married.
Yeah, this is a real phenomenon. The moment I got engaged some 23 years ago, the women just came out of the woodwork. I mean women who had not given me a second glance suddenly would call me at 10 p.m. Some just were pretty blatant with the invitations they slung my way.
It's sickening. For the attention, ego or because since he's already married he must be marriage material. Also if you've ever read the book Women Who Love Too Much, there are cases where women are raised in a situation where they're constantly "the other woman", not literally like in a sexual situation but maybe a figurative situation, such as helping dad take care of mom, or taking care of the household while dad depends on her to do it, and has a healthy adult relationship with a girlfriend or wife but his daughter is still the woman of the household of sorts.
For what it's worth, the opposite seems to be true too. I had more men hit on me when I was married than any other time previous. They knew I was married too because they would look right at that ring and some would ask if I was "happily married."
There also seems to be a bit of a an issue with married men going for single women on OLD sties. I ran into it a lot when I did online dating. Men who presented themselves as single, but turned out to really be married. Of course I don't run into married women on sites, but I am sure they are there too... looking for a man to cheat with. So I am sure it's a real phenomena (there is a supply and demand of these people: people looking to cheat and people looking to cheat with them).
If I had to put my thumb on it, one thing I noticed about single men is that they demand a lot of your time (wanting to call all the time, text all the time, go out several times a week, etc). If you are a busy woman and just want to date casually and have fun a couple of times a week, a man who doesn't make a lot of demands on your time is ideal. While I would never in a million years go for a married man, I have to confess that a married man would fit that ideal of a man who gives some space. My guess is that the same is true for single men who date married women (it's ideal because she doesn't make a lot of demands as far as time and infringing on your space.)
As others pointed out, there are also some twisted people who make a game out of it I am sure (the "steal someone's spouse" game as it were).
The married people who cheat... I figure are either (at worst) dishonest and untrustworthy or (at "best") possibly just very unhappy in their marriages but too comfortable to leave.
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