Quote:
Originally Posted by Ztw
I am at a point where I know I cannot be treated this way any longer. 8 yrs is far to long to be continuously disrespected. Friendship or otherwise. This has been the hardest year of my life. I took months off from work, fell into a deep scary depression something I am still dealing with.
I do agree with one poster (not sure who) that said I am letting him do this & treat me like this. I have made it perfectly clear to him how I feel about him & stated I cannot just be friends. He still reaches out to me.. For the last week I have continuously blown him off and ignored him, even though it is extremely difficult for me to do. I also understand actions speak louder than words and he is continuously shown me no respect whatsoever and that I am clearly not on the list of importance. Only when it's convenient for him is when he decides to text me or to meet up with me. He acts like he's sooo busy yet saw someone else for 4 months right after he broke up with me.
What really hurts the most is that he tried so hard for months and months to get in touch with me , only to just completely ignore me again and confuse me emotionally and basically break my heart all over again.
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I'm going to tell you what my friends have told me: That rebound relationship was a farce.
The very nature of a rebound relationship is to try to feel love, and that's just not possible that quickly even in the best of situations, when someone is healed and whole. It goes from, "You're nothing like my ex!
" to "You're nothing like my ex!
" That's why most of them end after a few months. The newness wears off, as it does after a few months in every relationship, and the rebounding partner realizes there's no real connection there.
As Supermanpansy pointed out, people can't just turn their feelings off after all those years together. They may get out there and date, but I promise you that your ex's rebound relationship was about distracting himself from the pain of losing you, trying to feel the love and connection that he had with you, and, to a lesser extent, about proving to himself that he was still attractive. That it ended so quickly is just proof of it.
A couple of lines in the old Hall and Oates song "She's Gone" nail it:
Pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
They can never be what she was to me
As for him taking such pains to get in touch with you, you unwittingly did something that probably drove him bonkers: You walked away from him. Whether it's pride, a feeling of you being "the one that got away," or just a feeling of possession over you after spending so many years with you, he's still bent on knowing that you love him. It's a challenge to him to get you to admit it. Then he gets what he wants, and doesn't have to worry about it again until it occurs to him it has been long enough for you to find someone else. Thing is, while he may want to
get you, he doesn't want to do anything to
keep you. That's how you know it's his ego talking, not his heart.
That's why you need to not just ignore his calls, emails, and texts. You need to program your technology to block him. If my ex tries to call me on my landline, he will hear a message telling him that "this customer does not accept calls from that number." If he sends me an email, he'll get a bounce message saying that my mailbox only accepts emails from certain email addresses. No contact does not leave things up to your own willpower and ability to resist opening a message. It means the message does not get through to tempt you in the first place. That's what you made happen before, and need to make happen again, most likely for good.
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