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I won't do it right now. I will wait for a while but I have to start preparations for how I'll do it.
I think my kids will react fine, I'll calmly speak with them and explain I've found someone else I want to be with so their mother and I are getting a divorce. They are all adults so there's no reason for them not to understand. My love for them doesn't change with a divorce so I can't see where's the problem.
Yes, and they'll just say, "Great, Dad! Bring her to the house for Thanksgiving next year!"
Another reason I don't believe in "staying together for the kids". I'm a child of divorce. My parents got divorced when I was about 14. It was rough for a few years, but thank GOD they did when they did. I can't imagine them hanging on to that crap for 10 more years. As far as I'm concerned, it should have happened by the time I was 5. I was damaged more seeing an unhealthy relationship, my relationship with both of them strengthened when they finally got their own lives apart.
That's because your parents did it wrong.
They should have acted like responsible adults and made a pleasant atmosphere despite their feelings for each other - that much they owed you. Instead of bickering like children and destroying your family.
That's not LYING. That's being a decent person.
That's my problem with statements like "I'd rather my parents divorce than act like aholes." Acting like aholes and fighting and making a bad scene is up to them. That's a choice they make. I don't think any kid would prefer the dissolution of their family if a cordial, pleasant environment can be had for the time they most need an intact family. Then everyone can go their own way later. And it's not b.s. I have seen it done.
I second the idea of giving her everything. You want to start a new life, make it as easy on her as possible, you owe her that after 32 years. She doesn't need to get into a fight about splitting things up and having the rug pulled out from under her. Sign everything over, house, bank accounts, and tell her when your handing her all the paperwork.
Sign everything over, house, bank accounts, and tell her when your handing her all the paperwork.
Not in a million years. I also worked for it and want my part. She doesn't have any more right to it then I do. I doubt you would say the same thing if she was a man.
Its not like this is an unusual situation. Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Im fairly impressed you stayed long enough to take care of the kids til they moved out on their own.
Theirs probably no easy way to do it. I do agree with giving her more time due to recent events. You are with her and know her better than anyone, you should know when she will be able to handle it.
If the marriage is how you say, she will likely be relieved herself to have it ended. You'll just have to sit her down, tell her that you feel its time to go separate ways, and be sure to be fair with marriage assets. Don't go hiding stuff.
I wanted my kids to grow with their father around and that is done. And just like my wife, they are going to find out I've another woman even if they aren't told. They are grown ups, not children.
Wow.
The self-righteousness and selfishness you display here is really sad.
Tell the girlfriend that you will be signing everything over to your wife and will just be coming to her with your wonderful self and that she will have to pitch in to support you and her. My X's gf was completely enamored with the idea of catching the 'goose that laid the golden egg' not that unusual thinking for some kinds of younger woman especially if you have considerable assets. Consider it a self-protection reality test.
I don't think it's appropriate to leave a long term spouse of any gender in their golden years with an unexpected fight for survival. At the very least make sure she is taken care of, that is only fair.
Its not like this is an unusual situation. Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Im fairly impressed you stayed long enough to take care of the kids til they moved out on their own.
Theirs probably no easy way to do it. I do agree with giving her more time due to recent events. You are with her and know her better than anyone, you should know when she will be able to handle it.
If the marriage is how you say, she will likely be relieved herself to have it ended. You'll just have to sit her down, tell her that you feel its time to go separate ways, and be sure to be fair with marriage assets. Don't go hiding stuff.
Tough situation, but it happens every day.
Or stayed until child support isn't an issue.
I wouldn't assume anything -- maybe the wife would be just as glad to be rid of him -- and like someone else suggested -- make sure she ends up with all the assets and savings -- she may be plenty happy.
The new wife shouldn't mind building up from scratch.
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