gf wants me to see a therapist (girlfriend, therapy, sex)
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According to her I shouldn't be pessimistic all the time. I'm just wired that way. I'm only considering it because I like seeing her happy. Should I go?
According to her I shouldn't be pessimistic all the time. I'm just wired that way. I'm only considering it because I like seeing her happy. Should I go?
If you're pessimistic enough to make someone unhappy, it's probably not a bad idea. Pessimists are great at sucking the life out of everyone around them. They are some of the worst people to be around.
According to her I shouldn't be pessimistic all the time. I'm just wired that way. I'm only considering it because I like seeing her happy. Should I go?
You should go at least once. Talk to the therapist about the differences between your GF's perceptions and your own. Make clear that as far as you are concerned, you are "just wired that way," and that you are untroubled by that fact. It sounds like your GF thinks therapy is about "fixing" people. That's not necessarily true. Sometimes it is just about getting an unbiased perspective.
There are a lot of misconceptions about therapy, even (sometimes especially) by those undergoing it. I knew someone who likened it to auto mechanics, and thought it was supposed to "fix" him. I was like, "No...you do that."
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Well, I've gone a few times well over a decade ago during some down times. I tend to think therapy is a scam except for some instances (survivors of sex abuse, PTSD, etc)... most of the time it's just talking and they chime in with a "how does that make you feel" idiotic comment from time to time... no real help. Maybe is someone has no self awareness at all it might be helpful to have someone call them on their sheet, but eh, I'd save your money.
There are a lot of misconceptions about therapy, even (sometimes especially) by those undergoing it. I knew someone who likened it to auto mechanics, and thought it was supposed to "fix" him. I was like, "No...you do that."
I've noticed that on this board as well. People will say, "I went to a therapist once, and I wasn't cured." That's not really the point. Sometimes you need to talk it out with a disinterested party.
Well, I've gone a few times well over a decade ago during some down times. I tend to think therapy is a scam except for some instances (survivors of sex abuse, PTSD, etc)... most of the time it's just talking and they chime in with a "how does that make you feel" idiotic comment from time to time... no real help. Maybe is someone has no self awareness at all it might be helpful to have someone call them on their sheet, but eh, I'd save your money.
This is a good cautionary note. OP, avoid "talk therapy", where you're expected to just blather on for an hour, while the therapist sits like a bump on a log, passively observing. There are many different approaches to therapy these days, thank heaven, so this old Freudian style has become kind of old-fashioned. Shop around. Try a few different therapists, after interviewing them on the phone.
According to her I shouldn't be pessimistic all the time. I'm just wired that way. I'm only considering it because I like seeing her happy. Should I go?
Yes, see a therapist. Don't do it becuase you want to make her happy, you are not doing her a favor! you are doing it for your own well being..
According to her I shouldn't be pessimistic all the time. I'm just wired that way. I'm only considering it because I like seeing her happy. Should I go?
No. The reason to go to therapy is because you recognize that something is going on in your head that you need to work through. Doing it for someone else is pretty much going to guarantee failure. It sounds cliched, but the person in therapy has got to want to change, because they're the one who is going to have to do all the work.
Is there something you feel you need help with?
I'm kind of surprised at the number of people here who are telling you to go. We don't know how old you are, what your relationship to your girlfriend is, how long you have been together, the context in which she brought up the discussion, or anything.
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