Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is it really normal to receive “moral” relationship advice from a person that is either in a healthy relationship or have had bad experiences but finds joy in logging in first thing in the morning to read other people’s problems and or give advice? And those that give advice are pretty detailed and the advice is often EXTREMELY good and well thought out…
I really would like to know what satisfaction does a person in a perfectly healthy relationship get from logging in everyday and even several times a day to give relationship advice. I am not talking about surface level answers but answers that nobody really wants to talk about.
Is it practice to keep you sharp? Is it for educational purposes? Is there something about other people’s problems that help you get through your life? What does it do to the subconscious of those that have been in hurtful relationships but then come back and read posts that perhaps stimulate some negative past experiences but yet are determined to give that well thought out advice?
Put it this way, I am far from innocent. I know most people rather answer questions relating to other people’s problems but I find it interesting nonetheless.
It helps to clarify and organize issues in our own minds. That and some people just really like to give advice and read others' advice--when I was growing up I loved to read Ann Landers and Dear Abby every day.
It helps to clarify and organize issues in our own minds. That and some people just really like to give advice and read others' advice--when I was growing up I loved to read Ann Landers and Dear Abby every day.
I totally see your point. I love to give advice on other topics that I am experienced at but I know that relationships can be stressful and bring up old wounds that may even lead to depression for some.
I totally see your point. I love to give advice on other topics that I am experienced at but I know that relationships can be stressful and bring up old wounds that may even lead to depression for some.
It's a double-edged sword. Before the internet, people had to figure things out for themselves. Now you can run to the internet and there's always someone "out there" to reply. I like sharing my experiences and hope someone else might benefit from something I have to say. I used to belong to a stepparenting forum, but now that I'm no longer a stepparent, while my advice might still be valuable, it was not healthy for me to stick around to give advice to others and while dredging up old feelings of a not-so-pleasant time in my life.
To be a recipient of advice and to actually make a difference in your own life, you need to be able to think critically, weed out what isn't valuable or applicable to you, but most of all, use advice as a positive to support you, not a crutch that keeps you from growing. No point asking a question if you're not open to answers. The biggest downfall is that you don't even have to leave home to get advice, however we are not trained professionals and some people use the internet as a substitute for the real-life, in person help that they need.
I enjoy reading, writing and conversation quite a bit. I also appreciate the spontaneous humor that comes across in forums, more so than I enjoy scripted jokes and skits created by comedians and mass market humor of the youtube variety. Furthermore, I enjoy comparing my own values to the diverse population of CD and other forums.
I work from home, with a 10-hour minimum workday and some very intense subject matter. This is how I rest my brain and keep from going stir crazy.
And I'm not in a healthy relationship - I'm single and just fine with it. I think half the messes I read about on these boards are the result of people thinking they NEED to be in a relationship.
But I've reached a pretty good point in my life, and I've ****ed up a lot of stuff in my life in the past too. So I feel qualified to give basic advice if someone actually asks. And this enables me to bite my tongue when my IRL friends go do stupid stuff and I gotta be the good soldier and not say squat about it.
It's probably alright for things like general man and woman stuff, but with specific instances I think it's a bad idea. No one is ever going to understand your specific situation and they're only getting your side of it, so unless you're absolutely clear and honest about everything, you're probably going to get bad advice.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
