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Yeah, this wasn't intended to be a 'why did I sleep with him so fast' discussion. But whatever.
For anyone who is interested, his crazy came out full force last night. A very good friend had a BBQ and I brought him along. BBQ ended around 9, but I was planning on staying and hanging with my friend (as in alone, girls night). He was being clingy and wanted to stay too, but I basically told him we needed girl time and got him to go home. As he was saying goodbye he made a comment to me along the lines of he 'would be mad if he found out i got him to leave so that i could go out without him.' Creeped me out.
Ugh, not good. It's almost a threat. It's definitely paranoid and controlling. If you look at the article I quoted before, this is another warning sign, "Paranoid control" loser needs to know where you are and who you're with at all times and will get very angry if they find out you were someplace or with someone they don't like: Mental Health Matters Also, he will try to pull you away from any outside interests (like going anywhere without him or hanging out with anyone without him) and/or from your friends and family, so you have no support outside him. That's exactly what he's trying to do here.
Quote:
Friend lives a few blocks from a bar that we like to go to- he knew this, because he and I had dinner at a restaurant across the street last week and I pointed it out to him that I liked the place. Anyway, after he left, she and I sat and drank some beer/talked/etc for about an hour and a half, and then decided we wanted to go out for a little bit. Walked to the bar a few blocks away, and of course what do I see? His car parked directly across the street with him sitting in it watching the bar. I immediately went up and knocked on the window of his car, confronted him, ended things. He told me THREE separate stories about what he was doing there. Three. Each time I called him out on lying it changed. And now 20-ish hours later am still getting GIANT paragraph text messages trying to 'explain' himself. Noooo thanks.
I'm glad that I'm street smart enough to be aware of my surroundings. Don't want to think about what he was planning to do if I hadn't seen him and he had seen us go into the bar.
Yikes, he's a stalker. Don't respond to his text messages or phone calls at all. The article I posted says "As long as "The Loser" has contact with you they feel there is a chance to manipulate you." I'm not saying you were wrong to give him another chance after the clingy I Love You after one week but I also can't say I'm surprised. To all those who wondered what the big deal was, take note! Brooklyn, it's great to see someone on here who actually has her head screwed on straight and can spot unhealthy behavior when she sees it, good for you!
Yeah, this wasn't intended to be a 'why did I sleep with him so fast' discussion. But whatever.
For anyone who is interested, his crazy came out full force last night. A very good friend had a BBQ and I brought him along. BBQ ended around 9, but I was planning on staying and hanging with my friend (as in alone, girls night). He was being clingy and wanted to stay too, but I basically told him we needed girl time and got him to go home. As he was saying goodbye he made a comment to me along the lines of he 'would be mad if he found out i got him to leave so that i could go out without him.' Creeped me out. Friend lives a few blocks from a bar that we like to go to- he knew this, because he and I had dinner at a restaurant across the street last week and I pointed it out to him that I liked the place. Anyway, after he left, she and I sat and drank some beer/talked/etc for about an hour and a half, and then decided we wanted to go out for a little bit. Walked to the bar a few blocks away, and of course what do I see? His car parked directly across the street with him sitting in it watching the bar. I immediately went up and knocked on the window of his car, confronted him, ended things. He told me THREE separate stories about what he was doing there. Three. Each time I called him out on lying it changed. And now 20-ish hours later am still getting GIANT paragraph text messages trying to 'explain' himself. Noooo thanks.
I'm glad that I'm street smart enough to be aware of my surroundings. Don't want to think about what he was planning to do if I hadn't seen him and he had seen us go into the bar.
Okay, the guys a nut. Good for getting rid of him.
From my perspective: love is neither validated nor invalidated by time.~
I don't see love as one way only, to me love can be many ways and many people can have many different perspectives on love.~
I don't believe any two loves are exactly the same neither with those involved nor in the way they are conducted nor felt.~
That being said, to me there is no such thing as a "sensible" love: it makes no more "sense" for some one to love me because we grew up together as childhood friends than if we just met each other, nor than if we share all the same characteristics and hobbies than be nothing alike.~
It's not "supposed to" "make sense" nor "not make sense", it either IS or ISN'T.~
There is no guarantee for any thing in life and love is no exception: just because you grew together or spent years getting to know each other and are in every way "compatible" doesn't mean you will "eventually" fall in love, and just because you just met some one, can't stand them, and are nothing alike doesn't mean you have zero-chance of falling in love.~
Last edited by ColorsWolf; 05-26-2014 at 06:40 PM..
1) Why it's not too early to sleep together after a week of dating but too early for "I love you"?
2) Don't get scared. You lose nothing continuing this relationship, and you can lose a story of your life just because he is quick while you are not.
1) Why it's not too early to sleep together after a week of dating but too early for "I love you"?
2) Don't get scared. You lose nothing continuing this relationship, and you can lose a story of your life just because he is quick while you are not.
He literally stalked her at a bar and was acting very possessive. She's moved on.
Yeah, this wasn't intended to be a 'why did I sleep with him so fast' discussion. But whatever.
For anyone who is interested, his crazy came out full force last night. A very good friend had a BBQ and I brought him along. BBQ ended around 9, but I was planning on staying and hanging with my friend (as in alone, girls night). He was being clingy and wanted to stay too, but I basically told him we needed girl time and got him to go home. As he was saying goodbye he made a comment to me along the lines of he 'would be mad if he found out i got him to leave so that i could go out without him.' Creeped me out. Friend lives a few blocks from a bar that we like to go to- he knew this, because he and I had dinner at a restaurant across the street last week and I pointed it out to him that I liked the place. Anyway, after he left, she and I sat and drank some beer/talked/etc for about an hour and a half, and then decided we wanted to go out for a little bit. Walked to the bar a few blocks away, and of course what do I see? His car parked directly across the street with him sitting in it watching the bar. I immediately went up and knocked on the window of his car, confronted him, ended things. He told me THREE separate stories about what he was doing there. Three. Each time I called him out on lying it changed. And now 20-ish hours later am still getting GIANT paragraph text messages trying to 'explain' himself. Noooo thanks.
I'm glad that I'm street smart enough to be aware of my surroundings. Don't want to think about what he was planning to do if I hadn't seen him and he had seen us go into the bar.
Don't respond to his texts, save and document all contact from him and watch your back. As you said you're street smart, use it to protect yourself.
He's been texting me all day and I was trying to politely reiterate that I was no longer interested in seeing him. Then it stopped. Then he showed up at my apartment building very drunk. I spoke to him for a few minutes, told him to leave and to stop contacting me. Defriended him on facebook. Immediately started getting huge paragraph texts from him that no matter what I say he knows "I'm his" because he "looked into my eyes and saw it." Then he said "and i feel like this situation, however bad, is not as bad as it could get.".. I took that to be a threat. I sent him one more text to stop contacting me and his reply was "sue me." At what point do I take this to the police? This is the first I've had to deal with this sort of crazy.
He's been texting me all day and I was trying to politely reiterate that I was no longer interested in seeing him. Then it stopped. Then he showed up at my apartment building very drunk. I spoke to him for a few minutes, told him to leave and to stop contacting me. Defriended him on facebook. Immediately started getting huge paragraph texts from him that no matter what I say he knows "I'm his" because he "looked into my eyes and saw it." Then he said "and i feel like this situation, however bad, is not as bad as it could get.".. I took that to be a threat. I sent him one more text to stop contacting me and his reply was "sue me." At what point do I take this to the police? This is the first I've had to deal with this sort of crazy.
I would definitely contact the police and file a report before it escalates any further.
He's been texting me all day and I was trying to politely reiterate that I was no longer interested in seeing him. Then it stopped. Then he showed up at my apartment building very drunk. I spoke to him for a few minutes, told him to leave and to stop contacting me. Defriended him on facebook. Immediately started getting huge paragraph texts from him that no matter what I say he knows "I'm his" because he "looked into my eyes and saw it." Then he said "and i feel like this situation, however bad, is not as bad as it could get.".. I took that to be a threat. I sent him one more text to stop contacting me and his reply was "sue me." At what point do I take this to the police? This is the first I've had to deal with this sort of crazy.
Ignore him completely. Don't respond back.
Turn off your phone and take off your personal voice-mail for a while.
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