Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been a big proponent of the FWB arrangement. It has usually worked for me in the past, and now after getting out of a serious relationship it seems like the perfect arrangement for me.
Meanwhile, a lot of you have stated that one always begins to develop deeper feelings, to which I have said "it doesn't have to be that way."
Well now you can all say I told you so, because this weekend I realized that I have developed feelings for my FWB; yes, the long hugger I discussed in a previous post.
It happens to most of the so called "Friend With Benefits" situations hence the reason I have always said there is no such thing as a "Friend With Benefits". It does not exist.
I had a situation for 5 years that was strictly intimate, no rings, no strings, no going out, no calling to chat, not even sitting and having a coffee, no hugging when he left. When he came into where I worked he was just another customer and was treated as such. When it was over it was over, no explaination, no call, no further contact. We both moved on and no hurt feelings because we both knew it would happen because that is what we agreed to from day one.
Well it happens alot. I know 13 girls that started the arrangements, and it's always the girl that develops feelings.
Unless you're a guy. it's been known to happen to guys too, just not as much as girls.
But the FWB situation gets trick because some read more into things. They start to like being treated nicely, then think it's a prelude to feelings, but it's just one person being respectful and nice. Then they start to get feelings/infatuation, and trouble starts because the other had no such feelings. And the infatuated party usually thinks they love the person, and want to get serious.
A girl I know felt that. She was only a sex buddy with the guy. She says she knew he was using her, but she loved him. I told her what love is, and what infatuation is. Now, she says she doesn't love him, want a relationship, or anything. He's just attractive and she'd like respect and friendship with him. They were sex buddies. She wanted FWB.
For now, she's ended things with him, and claims she no longer cares and feels too horrible for all the trouble she's endured for him over the past 9 months--and she only saw him every few weeks for sex at that. She may run back to him. It's ended before and started up again-twice that I know. But who knows. For now, she's called it off, and says she doesn't care about his feelings anymore.
But these things tend to get messy when people can't be logical and recognize love from infatuation. I haven't experienced the former. But I have felt the later ALOT, for over 27 guys. Celebs, fictional characters in books I read, or shows I watch, etc. I had 7-8 real life crushes. But haven't felt love yet, and probably won't since I haven't even dtaed yet.
It happens to most of the so called "Friend With Benefits" situations hence the reason I have always said there is no such thing as a "Friend With Benefits". It does not exist.
I had a situation for 5 years that was strictly intimate, no rings, no strings, no going out, no calling to chat, not even sitting and having a coffee, no hugging when he left. When he came into where I worked he was just another customer and was treated as such. When it was over it was over, no explaination, no call, no further contact. We both moved on and no hurt feelings because we both knew it would happen because that is what we agreed to from day one.
This is what I was hoping for. I've done it before successfully, and thought I could again. Unfortunately this guy is awesome. He has a heart of gold. I really thought I could just be cool with him and it would be awesome to have my cake and eat it too, but now I want more cake!
What sucks the most is that now I won't be able to have this amazing person in my life anymore.
Ugh sorry it's early here and my care factor is just not awake yet.
Well thanks for posting then!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
