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Aka "Housewives." What do you think of these type of women? I personally find it selfish and unbalanced and would NEVER stand for it in a relationship. By this I AM NOT referring to stay at home moms-women who have chosen to opt out to raise kids- which I think is rather commendable if feasible and both spouses have reached an accord. I'm referring to women who either have no kids OR more commonly empty nesters usually in their 40's or 50's who are still healthy and employable but choose not to re enter the work-force even part time and instead pursue a leisurely lifestyle such as shopping and spa trips, yoga/zumba, luncheons with friends, etc ON THEIR hard working husband's dime. Anyone else find this behavior despicable at worst, LAZY and manipulative at best. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership.
Why should a man have to slave away 40+ (often 50-60 hours a week) and deal with co-workers, office politics, or hard physical work depending on his profession while his wife gets to call her own shots all day and do as she pleases (even if the activities she's doing don't involve a lot of money such as going for walks,hikes, library,etc). It still seems incongruent in a marriage unless as said earlier, she has young kids she's rearing which is a totally different entity in and of itself.
Thoughts?
I tried to get my ex to go to college. She did, for 8 years, no degree. I tried to get her to find a job. She wouldn't, said she couldn't find any work because she was "stay at home for so many years".
I couldn't deal with the lying about school (reason for 8 years), lying about money, and taking my money to do whatever the hell she wanted to do, and leave me with about 100 bucks a week for gas, lunch, and the "random" groceries for me to get on my way home. Hardly left me with anything, or I went negative, due to this behavior. Every payday she'd go buy groceries, with my money. I was fine with that. What I wasn't fine with was coming home with two new 30 dollar toys, spending 30 bucks on lunch at a restaurant, and 20 dollars in starbucks for the day. Then she'd tell me she was broke.
So I ended that. I have a woman now who works 6 months out of the year, and makes as much money as I do. The other 6 months she stays at home and works on the house, and maintains a part time job.
My ex is so lazy, I give her 840 dollars a month in child support, and pay her 360 dollar a month car payment, and keep the kids for 7 days every other week, still doesn't have a job, I had to rent an apartment for her, and now all she does is complains that she has no money. No job = no money. We have no formal custody arrangement, but if she does this to much longer, the tit is going to run dry, and I'm just going to file for full custody. We were never married.
Being dependent on men for money is not a good thing (married or not). I have see many women here in my culture do that. They are 100% married the guy for money, and depend on him for everything. And guess what, he treats her like s-h-i-t, boss her around, he so disrespectful to her, and she just have to live with it. Why? Because she is spending his money, he can disrespect her anytime. He give her this attitude "I feed you, so you better listen to me."
I don't want a life like that, I want the man to respect me, and I want to be able to walk out of the relationship without depend on him, and able to survive financially without him.
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I thank the Heavens I have a husband who has always viewed money as ours! My name on the account I have don't have to ask or beg! .... Anyone who treats their spouse whether female/male with that type attitude or manner you mention above is pathetic, nor is that love!
I'm not quite certain everyone is talking about the same things here. Income was not an issue for us and some of the expenditures people are mentioning here wouldn't even make a blip on my radar. If income is an issue it should be obvious that living on a single income may be problematic.
Also my retirement has been in for a long time, if this was not the case we would have done something different. No matter how many incomes are involved you have to live within them including funding your retirement. That entire line of thought simply has nothing to do with single income families as it speaks to a fundamental need which everyone must address.
Nor do I think many people are going to make friends with the idea of one spouse sitting at home playing video games and doing absolutely nothing to advance their joint cause. This again should be obvious, who would want that? My guess is in every successful single income familiy you're going to find that the partner who was not in the work force was actively working at home on many fronts. As Ruth had said stuff comes up and it has to be handled, when someone is not working they are free to handle it. Also I think some of you are not realizing that as you advance your spouse may have expectations relating to the job you are doing. My wife was expected to attend and sometimes host events. I am a captain but also my wife had to be the captains wife, it was not optional and it came with responsibilities. I'm self employed and the stream of paperwork going to the accountants, lawyers, etc, is endless, all of it handled by my wife. These things are all outside of the fact that my she was always painting or doing some damn thing. Enough so that I hired a maid to free her up but she in turn let her go because she wanted to do it herself. It was her job and she took pride in it. I had some harsh words to say to my wife at times when we were fighting and such but lazy wasn't one of them.
In the end we both contributed to the life we had, but in different ways. My job brought in the money and I slayed dragons but she turned that into what our lives became. Truth be told she could never have made the money I made but our home would have sucked if it was left to me.
In the end we both contributed to the life we had, but in different ways. My job brought in the money and I slayed dragons but she turned that into what our lives became. Truth be told she could never have made the money I made but our home would have sucked if it was left to me.
I am going to frame this and hang it in my hallway! lol
I thank the Heavens I have a husband who has always viewed money as ours! My name on the account I have don't have to ask or beg! .... Anyone who treats their spouse whether female/male with that type attitude or manner you mention above is pathetic, nor is that love!
I know, I just say in my culture, there are alot of men like that. Who boss their wife around, order their wife to do stuff, like wife are their slave. With their attitude to their wife "I feed you, so you better serve me like the king" === These attitude make me sick! That is why I am always independent financial, because I do not want to live a life like that.
You be amaze, men in my culture even "buy" wife, order bride to be their wife, this is what happened in third world country. I'm not saying here in the U.S, I was just giving an example, saying I don't want to live a life like those women.
Glad to hear you have a great husband, as a woman like you, I am very happy for you. God bless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyJet
if you are a women, how do you know how to use a computer? I am confused.
Huh? Is this a joke? I don't get it.
Anyways, as I write in my post. What ever float your boat, who works, who stay home is the business of that couple. As outsiders we don't know their family life, hard to judge or say anything.
You cannot control anyone life, but you can control your OWN life and your OWN choices.
Myself prefer working, and I am speaking for myself only.
I stay home for now but I certainly don't live a "life of leisure" off my husband's income. Even though he gave me a debit card and put me in joint account to his bank.
I definitely can't and won't do what Memphis' ex do to his money. I just don't have the heart to spend his money like that. And whenever I use his debit card, I ask him first.
Whatever my husband gives me, it's because he wants to do it himself. I never ask him for money. And if I ever do it's $20 max. LOL. Well it's also coz, that's the max he's willing to give me.
I'm currently looking for work so I told him he gets $600/month added to his pocket once I start working since I will pay for groceries and my gas.
I stay home for now but I certainly don't live a "life of leisure" off my husband's income. Even though he gave me a debit card and put me in joint account to his bank.
I definitely can't and won't do what Memphis' ex do to his money. I just don't have the heart to spend his money like that. And whenever I use his debit card, I ask him first.
Whatever my husband gives me, it's because he wants to do it himself. I never ask him for money. And if I ever do it's $20 max. LOL. Well it's also coz, that's the max he's willing to give me.
I'm currently looking for work so I told him he gets $600/month added to his pocket once I start working since I will pay for groceries and my gas.
If you have joint accounts, why do you keep referring to everything as "his" and why in the world would you ask him for money? Do you not contribute to your lifestyle at all? Do you just sit on your rear all day?
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