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Aka "Housewives." What do you think of these type of women? I personally find it selfish and unbalanced and would NEVER stand for it in a relationship. By this I AM NOT referring to stay at home moms-women who have chosen to opt out to raise kids- which I think is rather commendable if feasible and both spouses have reached an accord. I'm referring to women who either have no kids OR more commonly empty nesters usually in their 40's or 50's who are still healthy and employable but choose not to re enter the work-force even part time and instead pursue a leisurely lifestyle such as shopping and spa trips, yoga/zumba, luncheons with friends, etc ON THEIR hard working husband's dime. Anyone else find this behavior despicable at worst, LAZY and manipulative at best. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership.
Why should a man have to slave away 40+ (often 50-60 hours a week) and deal with co-workers, office politics, or hard physical work depending on his profession while his wife gets to call her own shots all day and do as she pleases (even if the activities she's doing don't involve a lot of money such as going for walks,hikes, library,etc). It still seems incongruent in a marriage unless as said earlier, she has young kids she's rearing which is a totally different entity in and of itself.
Thoughts?
The arrangement within a marriage that is not your own is your business because?
PS ~~ You forgot to include househusbands who sponge off their hardworking wives who slave away 40+ (often 50-60 hours a week) just so they can go hang at the golf course with their buddies or play tennis all day or go to the beach on their hard working wives dime. Their behavior is despicable at worst, LAZY and manipulative at best. Who said marriage is a partnership with worthless househusbands like that..
Some men prefer to be the sole provider. They like having a clean house, cooked dinner, bills paid, and all their wife's attention. To each their own!
Yep.... and that is why my husband wanted me to stay home after the kids were grown.
I run all the errands; I clean the house; I do the laundry; I do all the banking; etc.
He likes having his weekends free for fun things - not errands and the like.
He likes that he can randomly take a day off, and I can accompany him on a day trip.
He likes that work does not come between us.
etc
And frankly, OP... what he wants and what I agree to should not even be a concern to you!
When you're married, you consider it both of your money even if only one person is working. Who knows, you might be in the position where you're dependent on your spouse financially while you recover from an illness. You don't want them feeling you're a parasite, do you? That's why you consider it both your money, so there is no bitterness over it. Who knows what can happen in life.
Yes, I understand that but again I'm not talking about illness (husband or wife). The women I mentioned (and many a woman I know) are very healthy and able bodied, they just 'don't want to be out there'.
My thoughts are ever since learning of the manosphere yesterday, I think you are spending too much time in it. The danger of this is that you perceive a problem that either doesn't exist or if it is does exist is rare.
My suggestion? Spend less time on the internet, get to know your local community and you will see that in most marriages someone stays home and takes care of the children, whether it is mother or father, or because of the economy both parents work while raising children. And for those rare marriages where there are no children involved and one doesn't have the desire to work, if they can afford it who cares.
Aka "Housewives." What do you think of these type of women? I personally find it selfish and unbalanced and would NEVER stand for it in a relationship. By this I AM NOT referring to stay at home moms-women who have chosen to opt out to raise kids- which I think is rather commendable if feasible and both spouses have reached an accord. I'm referring to women who either have no kids OR more commonly empty nesters usually in their 40's or 50's who are still healthy and employable but choose not to re enter the work-force even part time and instead pursue a leisurely lifestyle such as shopping and spa trips, yoga/zumba, luncheons with friends, etc ON THEIR hard working husband's dime. Anyone else find this behavior despicable at worst, LAZY and manipulative at best. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership.
Why should a man have to slave away 40+ (often 50-60 hours a week) and deal with co-workers, office politics, or hard physical work depending on his profession while his wife gets to call her own shots all day and do as she pleases (even if the activities she's doing don't involve a lot of money such as going for walks,hikes, library,etc). It still seems incongruent in a marriage unless as said earlier, she has young kids she's rearing which is a totally different entity in and of itself.
Thoughts?
Hold on. Did you ever think that the guy prefers his wife not to work. Maybe he makes so much god damn money that when he gets home he wants his wife waiting for him not toiling away working in some office. If the husband and wife are ok with the arrangement what's so bad about it? Now if he resents it but says nothing about it that's different. But if the arrangement works who cares.
I don't see it as mooching. When you're married, you combine resources. There isn't 'his' or 'her' income anymore. If the spouses agree on who's doing what, it's not a problem. (I kinda see husbands who expect wives to do things like cook and clean even while both are working full-time to be kinda like mooching).
I do understand your emotion about it, though. I have a friend who's in a position like this, although they've cancelled their cable and she clips coupons and they plan for every expense. Sometimes my friend will complain about not being able to afford AC yet or the dog's vet bills being expensive and I kinda want to say, "Well, you could get a job..." She quit her job over two years ago (because it was stressful) and hasn't done anything job-wise since. She does take care of her mom some times, who's in declining health, but that's only a recent development. My friend is conservative, politically, and will complain about people being lazy on welfare and food stamps and I really have to bite my tongue not to say, "Well, what about spousal welfare?" Because, really, it's not my business, and if her husband is still fine with their situation, then the only problem is my own perception of it. I do worry in the event they get divorced, though, because the longer someone goes without work, the harder it is to get a job.
Although I can't believe that spouses that don't have to work (and I know of at least one couple where the husband is the one who stays at home) and there's no issues like poor health in play, wouldn't choose to have a job. I mean, financially they'd be so much more secure (unless the working spouse is a millionaire). Even if the spouse works part-time, I'd think that the extra savings could help the other spouse retire sooner, or they could go on a nice vacation, or heck even donate money to an orphanage. But that's just how I would handle things. If I ever didn't have to work, though, I'd still do something. I personally can't imagine a life where I just watch Netflix, play with the dog, and run errands all day. I want to be a published author some day, I want to learn new things, I'd like to volunteer and accomplish something.
What I'm referring to are women who married rich(ish) or their husband's built their fortune during their marriage and the woman does nothing but spend her days watching ellen re-runs, getting manicures, shopping, gym, travel, sleeps til 10am, comes and goes as she pleases...basically all selfish pursuits off the fruits of her husband's labor. This is the definition of a parasite and these poor men are being taken for a ride.
If their husbands want them to work but they refuse then yes, that is AWFUL and they are taking advantage of them.
IMHO, the issue of empty-nesters not returning to work after children is not in the same category. 18 + years is a LONG time to have no work experience. I would not want my loved one to enter an environment where they are bottom dwellers in an unkind world. This pretty much excludes all customer service and office work where they'd be starting at the bottom (and they WOULD be starting at the bottom) as old adults. That is an unfair sacrifice, not for me or my loved ones.
Although I can't believe that spouses that don't have to work (and I know of at least one couple where the husband is the one who stays at home) and there's no issues like poor health in play, wouldn't choose to have a job. I mean, financially they'd be so much more secure (unless the working spouse is a millionaire). Even if the spouse works part-time, I'd think that the extra savings could help the other spouse retire sooner, or they could go on a nice vacation, or heck even donate money to an orphanage. But that's just how I would handle things. If I ever didn't have to work, though, I'd still do something. I personally can't imagine a life where I just watch Netflix, play with the dog, and run errands all day. I want to be a published author some day, I want to learn new things, I'd like to volunteer and accomplish something.
LOL!
My husband is no where near a millionaire. You really do not need a working spouse to do any of the things you mention.
We vacationed two extended weekends this month alone; we donate plenty.
Watching Netflix and playing with a dog never enter into our lives! (We feel having a dog would be unfair as we are not home enough to care for it properly)
We also learn new things AND volunteer. Imagine that!
I am not an anomaly either. There are plenty of one income families in my area.
Living in a lower cost-of-living area makes a difference, you know.
OP, your original question was "Aka "Housewives." What do you think of these type(s) of women?" I don't think anything about these types of women. They were never in my thoughts until you mentioned them. Now that you bring up the subject, I find I still don't think anything about them mainly because I really don't care how other people spend their money.
So my question to you is, why do you care so much that you sound sound so vitriolic when you talk about them? There is something seriously wrong with the attitude of someone who dwells so much on other people's life choices. It's like being a voyeur.
These women are not taking money out of your pocket. How their husbands choose to spend their money is entirely their affair. And speaking of affairs, some husbands spend their money on affairs, some on fancy sports cars, some on hobbies, some on booze etc. If a husband decides to spend his money on his wife, and her alone, it's his right and his money.
But as I said, I don't care and that's because it's none of my business. And it's none of yours.
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