Why do most online dating profiles for men sound the same? (wife, older)
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Big picture, higher level stuff, such as the desire for love, companionship, safety, security, etc etc, not talking about the specifics, in that sense we're all pretty similar ...
I think our egos sometimes kick in and we tend to think we're just a little more special or more unique than the next person.
This is true, and has profound implications. One is that online dating is an artificial contrivance, sorting people where in reality no sorting is needed. Another is that the great bugaboo of modern mating – arranged marriages – maybe isn't such a bad idea. And a corollary is that our choice of mate is far less important in our ensuing lives, than how we choose to interact with that mate.
But I understand what previous posters mean by the desirability of a generic profile… and this is another implication of Chowhound's statement. Namely, the non-generic ones are likely to be non-generic in a nefarious and repulsive way, or at least that's the fear. If a man writes that he desires to decapitate women and to roast their brains in butter, presumably this is an inauspicious sign, and such a profile is best ignored. Instead he'd write that he enjoys cooking in intimate company. Likewise if a man writes that he's looking to stock his harem in a compound in Nevada (or Jeddah). Instead he'd write that he has many female friends, that he has a fine social life already, and is looking for a relationship that enhances an already good life. The quotidian is decent and safe.
So when our egos do "kick in", our wiser natures are quick to stifle the excesses.
One does however wonder if wisdom does more to constrain than to protect us.
This is true, and has profound implications. One is that online dating is an artificial contrivance, sorting people where in reality no sorting is needed. Another is that the great bugaboo of modern mating – arranged marriages – maybe isn't such a bad idea. And a corollary is that our choice of mate is far less important in our ensuing lives, than how we choose to interact with that mate.
But I understand what previous posters mean by the desirability of a generic profile… and this is another implication of Chowhound's statement. Namely, the non-generic ones are likely to be non-generic in a nefarious and repulsive way, or at least that's the fear. If a man writes that he desires to decapitate women and to roast their brains in butter, presumably this is an inauspicious sign, and such a profile is best ignored. Instead he'd write that he enjoys cooking in intimate company. Likewise if a man writes that he's looking to stock his harem in a compound in Nevada (or Jeddah). Instead he'd write that he has many female friends, that he has a fine social life already, and is looking for a relationship that enhances an already good life. The quotidian is decent and safe.
So when our egos do "kick in", our wiser natures are quick to stifle the excesses.
One does however wonder if wisdom does more to constrain than to protect us.
I'm not a card carrying member of the Christianity club, but I do and have spent some time reading about Jesus and other spiritual teachers and have learned a good amount from them.
One of the things I read was that Jesus said to try and be the "lowest in the room" I think he meant to try and be a "humble man"
So I think when my ego flares up I try and remember that.
Now that the thread has been properly derailed, have to find a way to get it back on course.
its a female driven market and they will tolerate only certain types in initial first go around.
sad that both sexes lie like a rug on eharmony so what you say becomes a mute point.
big waste of time for many.
I'm not a card carrying member of the Christianity club, but I do and have spent some time reading about Jesus and other spiritual teachers and have learned a good amount from them.
One of the things I read was that Jesus said to try and be the "lowest in the room" I think he meant to try and be a "humble man"
So I think when my ego flares up I try and remember that.
Now that the thread has been properly derailed, have to find a way to get it back on course.
A humble profile may not attract the most women but I guess and hope for you that the woman it does attract is going to be the nicest in the room.
All I ever read is "I'm laid back, easy going, like trying new things, looking for no drama, looking for someone who is spontaneous etc". That's fairly simple....then why y'all single? Maybe you're picky or not as easy going as you say. I'm sure there are a great deal of women who can fit the above bill.
Lol. You think the matching game is the same for men as for women?
You do understand that women have hundreds of messages online everyday right? They can whoever they want from those hundreds of guys they are getting message from.
Men actually have to do the foot work and beat the competition out there with other men going for the same women. It comes down to supply and demand.
Lol. You think the matching game is the same for men as for women?
You do understand that women have hundreds of messages online everyday right? They can whoever they want from those hundreds of guys they are getting message from.
Men actually have to do the foot work and beat the competition out there with other men going for the same women. It comes down to supply and demand.
Is that why a women will just fade away after a couple of phone conversations? LOL
Is that why a women will just fade away after a couple of phone conversations? LOL
Too many to choose from I guess
Think about it. If there are 100 guys to pick from then she is going to pick the best looking one and the one that meets her needs the most. You might never hear from her after the 2nd or even the 3rd conversation.
Think about it. If there are 100 guys to pick from then she is going to pick the best looking one and the one that meets her needs the most. You might never hear from her after the 2nd or even the 3rd conversation.
It's a number's game.
yeah I better not wait until saturday because I may miss out especially since she is so attractive. From now until October, whoever I talk to who is new I better be trying to meet in 3 or 4 days
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