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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Interesting, the PDX people I know in the hardcore scene are mostly teachers, they tour on the summer. A bunch of my friends relocated there from Madison and Chicago. Sure, some worked at record stores and bars, but most worked in tech or as teachers (or academia). Most of the best (U.S.) crust punk / hardcore coming out of over the past decade, and the best label (Feral Ward), is all from Portland and most of the people I met from those bands were fairly professional types. Huh. But, I'm probably older than you so, well, people change over time.
Not to say there aren't plenty of 20 something bike techs and brewers playing in bands too, of course there are.
Where I am now, though, Boston is more prone to that due to expenses. Providence has more of a blue collar scene, it's cheaper. The artists can still afford to live there, while in Boston you really can't.
Going back to the original point of this thread: It's asininely difficult to attract or elicit a dialog with the type of person I would date or would be interested in me in real life.
Which is not limited to just online dating. My best friend and I were talking about how hard it is to find a life partner over the weekend, which is what we both want. I've received 17 messages in the month I've been on OKC, and 1/2 of them have been from men who are long distance, which I'm realizing I'm not interested in trying to make work. The only one I've been chatting with consistently who really wants to move forward lives 3 hours away and is already planning much more far ahead than I am comfortable with-especially since we haven't even met.
My best friend, on the other hand, has given up on OLD and has been trying speed dating. He's met close to 60 women and of those has only met a couple who thought "with a little tweaking" could be long-term potential. He said for one of the events he's attended, he marked no to all the women, which got him a free one and he very easily could have marked no to all of them too but instead marked them all yes as an assessment of the type of woman attracted to him.
One specific complaint I could make about the OK Cupid "matching" system is that most guys hardly fill out any of the matching questions... so they don't give out a lot of info about themselves, and the "system" doesn't make matches as well as it could. It's better than nothing though. I think if people filled out more questions it'd be a great filtering system.
The thing for us guys is that we have to invest much more time and effort to get dates compared to women. Since time is a finite resource, those of us who are pretty busy can only do so much. I don't have much time to answer 1000 questions on OKCupid. I'm online only an hour a day and I have to divide that time between OKC, this forum, some other websites and checking up on email etc.
I think the greatest failure of women is the lack of a realization that the most interesting guys are busy doing interesting things in their lives and not spending hours chasing women - either online or offline. The ones that have all the time in the world to chase women are mostly losers with way too much free time on their hands. However, women have come to expect the chase... and guess which types of men they attract?
One specific complaint I could make about the OK Cupid "matching" system is that most guys hardly fill out any of the matching questions... so they don't give out a lot of info about themselves, and the "system" doesn't make matches as well as it could. It's better than nothing though. I think if people filled out more questions it'd be a great filtering system.
Oddly enough, I've had the reverse experience (that women are the ones who aren't answering the questions). As some history, before OKC was a dating site, it was only a questionnaire site (with the quizzes and such). So I had a ton of the questions filled out already, and then I eventually got an email saying that I was subscribed to a dating site.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,943,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k374
I think the greatest failure of women is the lack of a realization that the most interesting guys are busy doing interesting things in their lives and not spending hours chasing women - either online or offline. The ones that have all the time in the world to chase women are mostly losers with way too much free time on their hands. However, women have come to expect the chase... and guess which types of men they attract?
This is true for both genders certainly. I would say it is an incredible self indictment but I can do my work (which is primarily listening) and type quite easily. Still, it is a good point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
Oddly enough, I've had the reverse experience (that women are the ones who aren't answering the questions). As some history, before OKC was a dating site, it was only a questionnaire site (with the quizzes and such). So I had a ton of the questions filled out already, and then I eventually got an email saying that I was subscribed to a dating site.
This is my experience as well. I've all but sworn off, when I go back, the people that answer few or no questions, or avoid the important categories completely. It never ends well.
Oddly enough, I've had the reverse experience (that women are the ones who aren't answering the questions).
I was the woman who didn't answer the questions.
Mainly because I was kind of halfheartedly browsing, wasn't "serious" about it. And, like the previous poster mentioned, I was busy living my life, and wasn't spending most of my free time on a dating site filling out questionnaires. The time sunk into even completing a profile was enough. Eh, still met my husband, regardless.
I find it's across the board: some men answered a lot of questions; others answered very few. Those who answered very few are the ones that I take as more likely to be fake, depending on what the rest of the profile looks like.
I've been on it a month and think I'm going to wrap up a couple of conversations that aren't really moving forward and then take a break as I'm finding it more tedious than enjoyable.
I definitely found it pretty tedious in short order. I'm lucky I happened upon my spouse when I did, because both of us were pretty much on the verge of being done with it, by that point, and were both teetering on taking a breather from online dating. Good timing.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,943,649 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
I've been on it a month and think I'm going to wrap up a couple of conversations that aren't really moving forward and then take a break as I'm finding it more tedious than enjoyable.
Good call. I'm a big proponent of turn it on for 2-3 weeks, see if anything sticks, turn it back off for a couple of months. It can be a time suck, and consuming.
Besides, you're entering the good weather period in your region. Don't waste it on a computer screen.
Good call. I'm a big proponent of turn it on for 2-3 weeks, see if anything sticks, turn it back off for a couple of months. It can be a time suck, and consuming.
Besides, you're entering the good weather period in your region. Don't waste it on a computer screen.
Part of a message I received last night from someone who doesn't seem to have taken my decision not to pursue an LDR with him well actually made me feel like I was used car vs an actual person which only solidified my decision to take a breather.
Weather has been great lately. I'm now looking forward to checking out some of the Rose Festival activities Saturday and perhaps watching/participating in the "World Naked Bike Ride" instead of a 3-hour round trip drive for a first encounter with someone who I was feeling a lot of pressure from to be "The One."
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