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Maybe it does answer all the counterarguments....but only if the situation is all about the OP, and that her wants and needs are all that matters. (Not surprising you and R4T would take this tack, never miss an opportunity to bash a man.)
Score another one for team woman.
OP's partner has told her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. It's either good enough for her, or its not.
Dude, it's not about bashing men. OP's SO has issues, that much is clear, he pretty much laid it out himself. He either needs to get help for those, or be straight from the get-go with whoever he's with and say he's not down with marriage due to his family history. He didn't do that. He kinda led her on in the first couple of years. Not cool. She told him from the start she was aiming towards marriage.
This has been a recurring theme over the course of this thread. Can one of the women please explain to me what this great thing is that men are gaining by having their girlfriends move in with them? I mean, you're all making it sound like he is stealing somehing from her without paying for it. So what is "it"?
Did OP not make it sound like they are loving in an equitable, happy relationship? Both of their own free will, sharing expenses, presumably enjoying EACH OTHER'S companionship and etc?
Why does he owe her a marriage? You all sound like a bunch of 1950s bitties.
It's really funny how some of the most grrrrl power posters on this board all of a sudden get real conservative when a question like this comes up. It's the "team woman" crowd...woman should get whatever she wants.
But anywho, OP, all you can do is talk with your SO openly, and then act on the info at hand.
But this is the way I think about it....why would you want to leave a relationship that is as happy as you say it is over a piece of paper?
Your post is heavily tinged with disdain.
The OP wants to be a wife. If marriage is just a piece of paper then why can't the boyfriend simply make her happy by getting that "piece of paper". They are already living in a common law marriage. Is it too much to ask to marry her to satisfy her need to be given the respect and title of a wife?
Maybe it does answer all the counterarguments....but only if the situation is all about the OP, and that her wants and needs are all that matters. (Not surprising you and R4T would take this tack, never miss an opportunity to bash a man.)
Score another one for team woman.
OP's partner has told her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. It's either good enough for her, or its not.
What causes this deep hatred of women I keep reading on this forum? Whew! I have been deeply hurt before by previous relationships, but I understand that they were individuals. Most men are pretty good guys and on the flip side...women are pretty great too
This is a point. He is not saying "I'll never get married, deal with it." He knows she wants marriage and he's stringing her along. That is a problem: He is stringing her along. He is getting what he wants while knowing she is not getting what she wants. And he knows it. Seven years now? He knows it.
Writer Robert Heinlein said, "Love is when another person's happiness is essential to your own." Her happiness is clearly not essential to his.
Good point. That's not love. OP should ask him if he loves her. Because it doesn't seem that he does. She's been living an illusion all these years.
Basically most of the women on here says your relationship is doomed no matter what happens, OP. He's NEVER going to ask to marry him, EVER.
Go ahead, simply walk away from a seemingly good 7 year relationship. See how easy that will be.
I think that the majority of the women posting have either experienced or have witnessed this before. The OP could easily waste many years with a man who will NEVER marry her instead of moving on and finding someone who will make the OP his wife. Why should she have to give on something that she desires in life? It will be better to walk away now then to spend her youth trying to make this guy do something that he will NEVER do.
If a woman really really wants the marriage and the whole nine, she probably shouldn't move in with a man beforehand.
I think human nature being what it is, people get lazy and complacent, etc etc.
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