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People need to at least know one another. Not to be crude or belabor the point, but if I'm going to spread my legs, it's going to be with my gynecologist for a check-up, or with somebody I already know I really, really like. "Really liking" is not just a matter of liking him physically. It doesn't take a mere 5 minutes. It takes knowing something about the man. Who is he? How does he react in certain circumstances? What's his background? What's his family like? Does he have a job? Has he studied something? Is he kind? Behind the first date façade, who is this guy really? That sort of thing.
I have to agree. I am sure sex feels nice. But if I am gonna open my legs, or get on my knees for a guy, I need to know him very well, and that he respects me. Sex is fine, but sometimes there's no respect from 1 party.
I am not gonna have fun having sex if I know in advance the guy is just using me, or that he's not looking for a girlfriend, or can't be sure of his feelings.Then after sex, he wants to be rid of me afterward.
A girl says her FWB stopped talking to her. He came to get her for sex. Then afterward when she wanted him to take her for something to eat, he wasn't interested, then she got mad.
But casual is fine. Different things work for different people. But I don't think being conservative, or having higher standards with sex is being a prude, or manipulative as some guys think. I stated I would wait a good while before having sex with a guy, and many guys had an issue with my thinking.
But my ex friend's guy waited a year for sex with her. And another girl I know dated her boyfriend for 4 years before they had sex. So, waiting isn't impossible if you love someone, and it's not trying to be a prude. It's just a big step to some, and they wanna be very sure before just diving in.
People need to at least know one another. Not to be crude or belabor the point, but if I'm going to spread my legs, it's going to be with my gynecologist for a check-up, or with somebody I already know I really, really like. "Really liking" is not just a matter of liking him physically. It doesn't take a mere 5 minutes. It takes knowing something about the man. Who is he? How does he react in certain circumstances? What's his background? What's his family like? Does he have a job? Has he studied something? Is he kind? Behind the first date façade, who is this guy really? That sort of thing.
Well, i ve been talking daily via fb with this guy for about 3 weeks before meeting him. Then i met him. Of course i knew his work, and admire it also, i also knew who he was, in general lines, i knew that i like him, the moment i kissed him in our second date. I knew he was kind, gentleman like, nice, funny, smart and had many things in common with me. He told me a lot about his family in our first date. He studied pilosophy and haves and PHD on it, too. He seems like a nice guy, quiet, kinda nerdy, like me. After 3 very long dates (in wich we were to dinner, to movies, to the theather, and he came pick me up and took me home every dates before even trying something with me) and about 1 and a half months of talking everyday, i went to his house and had sex with him.
Its not like it was "hi, whats your name? wanna go have sex?" or NOTHING like that.
I have to agree. I am sure sex feels nice. But if I am gonna open my legs, or get on my knees for a guy, I need to know him very well, and that he respects me. Sex is fine, but sometimes there's no respect from 1 party.
I am not gonna have fun having sex if I know in advance the guy is just using me, or that he's not looking for a girlfriend, or can't be sure of his feelings.Then after sex, he wants to be rid of me afterward.
A girl says her FWB stopped talking to her. He came to get her for sex. Then afterward when she wanted him to take her for something to eat, he wasn't interested, then she got mad.
But casual is fine. Different things work for different people. But I don't think being conservative, or having higher standards with sex is being a prude, or manipulative as some guys think. I stated I would wait a good while before having sex with a guy, and many guys had an issue with my thinking.
But my ex friend's guy waited a year for sex with her. And another girl I know dated her boyfriend for 4 years before they had sex. So, waiting isn't impossible if you love someone, and it's not trying to be a prude. It's just a big step to some, and they wanna be very sure before just diving in.
That describes me.
That is how I am wired.
I am not wired to be in any FWB relationship or to have casual sex with anyone.
Sophie, in Arg/So. America, is sex viewed as anything special between 2 people? In THIS world there are MANY men who want sex and don't want a girlfriend and there are many women who want sex and don't want a boyfriend. It's called being someone's f*ck buddy or "friend with benefits". For some people, sex is something intimate and special and having sex with every one they meet after the 2nd or 3rd date is unheard of and not normal. For many people, sex comes AFTER they've determined if they want to be in a relationship--it's not the prerequisite BEFORE determining if they want a relationship with that person.
I agree. I know women (and men) who have sex even with people they're not absolutely, maddeningly, crazy about. I never understood that.
I can kinda understand it in men. Men have a conquest mentality. "How many can I shtoop in my lifetime?" That sort of mentality.
The conquest mentality renders sex not such a big deal for men. They just want to do it, and can set their standards kinda low for sex.
Now, for a serious relationship? Oooh, for that men have the HIGHEST standards on the planet!
Anyway, that's why men can act super friendly, have sex with a girl, then just disappear and are never heard from again, because they are able to totally separate sex from relationship. It's not that they don't like you a lot. But they can like you a lot for sex even while knowing in their mind that it will be a cold day in hell before they'll have a serious relationship with you.
To men, a relationship is SERIOUS business!!! Sex isn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
I have to agree. I am sure sex feels nice. But if I am gonna open my legs, or get on my knees for a guy, I need to know him very well, and that he respects me. Sex is fine, but sometimes there's no respect from 1 party.
I am not gonna have fun having sex if I know in advance the guy is just using me, or that he's not looking for a girlfriend, or can't be sure of his feelings.Then after sex, he wants to be rid of me afterward.
A girl says her FWB stopped talking to her. He came to get her for sex. Then afterward when she wanted him to take her for something to eat, he wasn't interested, then she got mad.
But casual is fine. Different things work for different people. But I don't think being conservative, or having higher standards with sex is being a prude, or manipulative as some guys think. I stated I would wait a good while before having sex with a guy, and many guys had an issue with my thinking.
But my ex friend's guy waited a year for sex with her. And another girl I know dated her boyfriend for 4 years before they had sex. So, waiting isn't impossible if you love someone, and it's not trying to be a prude. It's just a big step to some, and they wanna be very sure before just diving in.
I have no idea where you are now in your relationship............ But get over the sex thing,
From a mans point of view... It will be whatever you want it to be. Just got with the flow and if it is to be it will. Don't rush it, don't chase it or him , just let it happen slowly, gently........ you know slow and easy and you'll get there.
how bout an update??? lol
Sophie, in Arg/So. America, is sex viewed as anything special between 2 people? In THIS world there are MANY men who want sex and don't want a girlfriend and there are many women who want sex and don't want a boyfriend. It's called being someone's f*ck buddy or "friend with benefits". For some people, sex is something intimate and special and having sex with every one they meet after the 2nd or 3rd date is unheard of and not normal. For many people, sex comes AFTER they've determined if they want to be in a relationship--it's not the prerequisite BEFORE determining if they want a relationship with that person.
Yap. I thought she's American. didn't know Argentinians are liberal with sex too. The OP herself said the guy want to wait til 3rd date to bang and she just wants to bang him ASAP. LOL.
Also can't believe you have 2 LTR's and seem clueless how guys work.
For me, since it's my body, sex is something intimate and special and having sex with every one they meet after the 2nd or 3rd date is unheard of and not normal.
I can't do casual, FB, FWB, because sex is more than physical for me. Emotion and trust is ALWAYS included. My husband was definitely exception to the rule when we first became intimate. But when he just wants me to spend weekends at his house with no commitment, that's when I told him what I want and if he does not want it, fine. We can go our separate ways. Which we did. For 3 days.
I have no idea where you are now in your relationship............ But get over the sex thing,
From a mans point of view... It will be whatever you want it to be. Just got with the flow and if it is to be it will. Don't rush it, don't chase it or him , just let it happen slowly, gently........ you know slow and easy and you'll get there.
how bout an update??? lol
That is how I feel.
I wish that the young twenty somethings who are the opposite of this would follow this advice.
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