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Old 06-16-2014, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
131 posts, read 148,607 times
Reputation: 208

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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastbias View Post
Where i grew up this is true most were married by the time they hit 30. Where I live now it's not uncommon for people in their 30s to be single or married at one point and now divorced. I think I've encountered more happily single people than happily married people. Take your time.
Indeed.

Me too. I wonder why? I'm sure Ruth4Truth knows. I'll wait for her to tell me.
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Old 06-16-2014, 08:38 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
Reputation: 16655
I am only 21 myself, but I think it is just another ridiculous standard that some people try to live up to.

I believe in complete freedom and nonconformity in terms of love and relationships. You can't "force" it to happen. It has to happen on it's own. If you are not married or in serious relationship at 30 it shouldn't matter to anyone else but you. No one is going to be in YOUR relationships and most certainly can't live your life for you.
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Old 06-16-2014, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,118,175 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastbias View Post
Where i grew up this is true most were married by the time they hit 30. Where I live now it's not uncommon for people in their 30s to be single or married at one point and now divorced. I think I've encountered more happily single people than happily married people. Take your time.
I got married at 28 and was the first out of my friends to get married. I would say that most of the people in my social circle are happy - whether they are single or married.
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Old 06-16-2014, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Austin/Houston
2,930 posts, read 5,255,713 times
Reputation: 2266
Quote:
Originally Posted by const_iterator View Post
The problem have isn't being healthy, but looking "healthy." You can be the healthiest guy in the world, but if you have acne and are balding, you will be perceived as unhealthy. Whereas, some guys can party and eat junk food for decades and still have perfect complexion and thick, luxurious hair. How healthy you look is almost entirely dependent on your genetics.
I disagree with your last sentence, although I kind of understand what you're saying.

How healthy each of us look is also our own decision. Our lifestyles, our diet, our stress levels, skincare, etc. Someone who is balding so bad is probably best to just shave it all off. The horse-shoe look just ain't it, but a shaved head can look good and youthful on some people. Look at Michael Jordan?

True, some people develop laugh lines and forehead wrinkles faster than others, but there's a way you can work with what you have enough to have that healthy look. I'm not saying we all are not going to age, but it's more about how you age. We each have a choice on that.
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Old 06-17-2014, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Austin/Houston
2,930 posts, read 5,255,713 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
LOL. Well, I'm sure all that doesn't hurt. I swin, do weights, cardio, racquetball, yoga, all my bloodword/blood pressure is perfect, I eat super healthy and my BMI is below average and that hasn't stopped a bunch of surgries, RA or FM.
OOps. I realize how my post must've come across. Was not speaking directly at you but in general. Did not mean to suggest that you're not taking care of yourself.

My ideas of age not having a number was pretty much directed at myself. I was getting all kinds of health ailments: bad back, ulcerative colitis, acid reflux, high blood pressure, etc a few years ago when when I was still in my 20s. People were thinking " He's too young for all that!" But i made some lifestyle changes and began eating healthy well- balanced meals, drinking more water. Now in my early/mid 30s, I feel better than ever and am much more perky and energetic.

I guess I shouldn't try to apply all those same scenarios to someone who's in their late 40s/early 50s. But I've seen some stunning women who are in their late 40s/early 50s, some that I've wished I could call my own cougar. (Not that I'm super young) But Many of them rivaled younger women in their 20s.

I guess since society puts more pressure on women of a certain age, women tend to have it embedded in their heads a little more.
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Old 06-17-2014, 03:15 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,114 times
Reputation: 5946
Depends on where you live. When I worked in downtown Chicago no one gave it any thought and I worked with a lot of older singles. People definitely do settle, both younger and older who want marriage. There are all kinds of reasons people are unmarried, including work obsessed. I could have married younger but wasn't ready.

I have a friend my age who desperately wants to get married and constantly tries online. All she is finding are complete losers and it's heartbreaking. She was into her career (lawyer)and now regrets putting so much into it because she knows she won't marry unless she settles. She has a laundry list even longer than mine, including he has to be a white collar professional and have all his hair. He has to be tall, in shape and makes great money. I told her this guy either doesn't exist or isn't into her. He's either not dating, or wants a different woman than her or other variations.
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Old 06-17-2014, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
131 posts, read 148,607 times
Reputation: 208
For all the people who say no one feels pressure and its all in my head.... Look at this: How common is "impending doom" in childless single women at 30?
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Old 06-17-2014, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Zen View Post
For all the people who say no one feels pressure and its all in my head.... Look at this: How common is "impending doom" in childless single women at 30?
No one here has stated that NO ONE feels that way. I just don't think it's a big deal.
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Old 06-19-2014, 03:24 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,088,952 times
Reputation: 11796
I married my college sweetheart at 24 and was divorced by 26. At 27 I moved to a new city and dated like a maniac for about 2 years because I really wanted to hurry up and get remarried before I turned 30. I was horrified to think I might turn 30 single. I don't know why - I'm sure some of it was growing up in a small town where everyone was married with kids by age 30. I always wanted to be married with kids and I wanted to get back on track. But, finally I realized I couldn't will myself into another marriage and I chose a lot of the wrong guys and overlooked red flags because I was so desperate to find someone. Something I can only realize and admit now at the wise old age of 30.

I haven't been on a date now in ages. It isn't that I'm opposed to the idea of meeting someone, but I've lost my urgency and realized being 30 and single isn't any different than being 28 and single. Sometimes I do think of the ticking clock and I know it's a fact if I want to have biological kids I don't have forever to do that. But I can't find a relationship out of fear or desperation and I figure if that ship sails there's always adoption. I'm sure some guys feel pressured to settle down by 30, but I think it's worse for women and largely because of the dreaded ticking clock. I would rather be single forever than settle for someone just to have someone because I'm of a certain age or other people think I should.
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Old 06-19-2014, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
131 posts, read 148,607 times
Reputation: 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I married my college sweetheart at 24 and was divorced by 26. At 27 I moved to a new city and dated like a maniac for about 2 years because I really wanted to hurry up and get remarried before I turned 30. I was horrified to think I might turn 30 single. I don't know why - I'm sure some of it was growing up in a small town where everyone was married with kids by age 30. I always wanted to be married with kids and I wanted to get back on track. But, finally I realized I couldn't will myself into another marriage and I chose a lot of the wrong guys and overlooked red flags because I was so desperate to find someone. Something I can only realize and admit now at the wise old age of 30.

I haven't been on a date now in ages. It isn't that I'm opposed to the idea of meeting someone, but I've lost my urgency and realized being 30 and single isn't any different than being 28 and single. Sometimes I do think of the ticking clock and I know it's a fact if I want to have biological kids I don't have forever to do that. But I can't find a relationship out of fear or desperation and I figure if that ship sails there's always adoption. I'm sure some guys feel pressured to settle down by 30, but I think it's worse for women and largely because of the dreaded ticking clock. I would rather be single forever than settle for someone just to have someone because I'm of a certain age or other people think I should.
Me too. I think its idiotic to put yourself in situations that are bad for you just so you can live up to some standard society as put in your head. Around my late 20's I stopped living for the approval of others and started doing only what I thought was right regardless of how others felt about it. The day I made that decision was the day I was free.

American culture is big on forcing relationships instead of allowing them to occur naturally and organically. This is why we have so many dating sites, dating shows, dating articles in magazines, etc. We have an obsession with sex and dating. This obsession is not to our benefit.
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