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But if she paid half, then you paid half of the times out. So you HAVE offered to pay. That's what we are talking about. I don't think we really all that far apart. No one here is saying the guy always and forever has to pay for every date. We are just saying if a guy never ever treats a woman to a date, he's probably not into her. You treat your girlfriend, you just said it. And she treats you too, which is just as awesome.
No she pays half the time, becuse she knows I don'e play that, and I would dump her ass with the quickness if she tried to pull a stunt of acting like she entitled to free dinners and nice things. She also doesn't equate how I feel about her with money like so many women on here do.
the sole issue is fear.
fear of being manipulated
fear of paying and then not being appreciated
fear of it not turning out well and having been played
in essence the same fears that women have
In your opinion, what would constitute a woman who is not "entitled?" Give a bit of a description.
Easy, a woman that appreciates the intangibles and is smart enough to know that materialism does not equal affection or lack thereof
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua
That's exactly what it is - a terror of women being after your money, a fear that you might be ripped off by women, and so you treat her at best no different from a male buddy, and at worst, with great suspicion.
Now look, don't get me wrong, I'm not telling the "women-are-out-to-steal-from-me" folks from behaving however they wish. This country is as free as others and it's not for me to tell anyone how to behave, trust me on that. However, I'm telling you that if you walk into a relationship treating a woman in the same unromantic, unspecial way as your male sports buddy, that's what you're going to get - a bud, if you're lucky, and if you treat a date as if you were going out with a potential scam artist, you will not get a second date.
I seen a buddy of mine ended a relationship with a scam artist before, so I have to side with 14Bricks on this one. After what I've seen, men really do need to be careful. I know not all women are that way, though.
No she pays half the time, becuse she knows I don'e play that, and I would dump her ass with the quickness if she tried to pull a stunt of acting like she entitled to free dinners and nice things. She also doesn't equate how I feel about her with money like so many women on here do.
Are you saying she only treats you because, if she didn't, you'd leave her? I'd have to imagine she actually likes being with you and treats you because it's fun to do nice things for the people we love. I mean, that's why I treat friends or family to things and that's why, with the last guy I dated who *refused* to ever let me pay for any date, I did other things for him like clean his house, cook him meals, detailed his truck, etc. when you care about someone, you want to do things for them, show them you care, treat them to things, etc.
Reminds me of my little brother when he was 5 years old. My mom would go to the store with us, and he'd want a toy and would throw himself on the floor of the store whining and whining that he wanted it. It's just always all about them. But children get a huge pass until they're adults. Once a person is an adult, it's kinda hard to figure out why you should give them a pass for that much childlike whining.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
It seems odd that they'd be stuck on dinner dates (instead of coming up with alternatives), then complain about the cost, or that women take them for granted, or that if they don't pay for the woman, she assumes there's no romantic interest.
Well, if you cherry-pick the responses, ignoring all the ones saying it doesn't take spending money, and if you misunderstand posts like fleetiebelle's, that supports the view that it doesn't take money to communicate romantic interest, of course you're only going to reinforce your own agenda.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
I personally don't have an issue with splitting the bill every time. I don't equate money spent on me as any indication whether a guy likes me or not. The very fact he's spending time with me means he enjoys my company. But I'm from another country, our dating traditions are different to Americans.
I only seen ONE woman on here who said its not about money, and she doesn't think a man doesn't like her if he wanted to go dutch.
Sarita and jillabean also posted about alternatives to spending money. Just off the top of my head. Also, jade408 (I don't know how you could have missed that one, since I reposted it.) And fleetiebelle, whom you already quoted, but seem to have misunderstood.
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Great, the she knows the cheap guy likes her. Woooh. Party.
If I'm ever in the position where dropping $40 or whatever and covering a couple of drinks for someone I asked out is something I even think about twice, please shoot me. I don't think twice about spending it on myself, or treating a platonic friend... I'm sure as heck not going to think about it on a cute woman.
No she pays half the time, becuse she knows I don'e play that, and I would dump her ass with the quickness if she tried to pull a stunt of acting like she entitled to free dinners and nice things. She also doesn't equate how I feel about her with money like so many women on here do.
If she knows and agrees with your strong feelings on this it sounds like she's a keeper!
Water does seek its own level and you two appear evenly matched, so live and let live, no sense continuing to try to argue here
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It's just always all about them. But children get a huge pass until they're adults. Once a person is an adult, it's kinda hard to figure out why you should give them a pass for that much childlike whining.
