He lacks ambition and is immoral, I love him what should I do? (date, married)
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Collecting money from the government when you're able to work is wrong, wrong, wrong! There is no way I could ever date, much less consider marriage with someone who thinks that way of life is okay.
I don't need a guy who works nonstop and is focused on making money, but I do want a guy who makes his money and supports himself honestly. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of yourself. Please don't attach yourself to this guy for life.
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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I'm sorry OP, but the obvious answer to your problem is that you need to move on. Trust me, there are loving people that are emotionally available that also have career ambition and similar goals to you. At the very least, if a family life in the future is important to you then you are absolutely with the wrong guy. It's OK to want it all or at least the big things.
Dating is a time where you get to know a person to make an informed decision based on your set of values, wants, and non-wants. I see all of these not in line with your own.
Now, tell us why, after knowing all of this, you find him attractive enough to want to marry him?
You're too young to saddle yourself with this. Say buh-bye. Unless you'd be happy to have a househusband (nothing wrong with that).
There are situations that are salvageable through compromise, communication and hard work. Then there are situations from which you need to run like Usain Bolt. Your situation is definitely the latter.
Yep. You can choose to express your feelings, and then make your choice. You can't change him. He has to make the decision himself. If you don't agree with his methods of employment or lack of drive and ambition, only you can change that by removing yourself from the equation.
But if you read where he's getting his bills and rent paid, you'd see why I'm concerned.
He gets them paid by benefit allowance money from filing unemployment due to illness- even though he's fine, and from low income housing even though he has a job and the government thinks he doesn't. His job is a concession worker and it's not permanent because it's reliant on the venue, of which the venue isn't going to be there forever
I don't mean to be rude, but it's not really up to you to say if he is "fine" or not. You're not the one who's ill. Sounds like to me you have an issue with his lifestyle, his means of support. If so, you must decide what you wanna live with... Can you let it go? I mean, if it goes that much "against your morals" I don't see how you could easily do that. Don't make it all about him. He's fine with his way of living. He's making ends meet to his satisfaction. That's his business. Can you get fine with it? It's okay if you can. It's okay if you can't. You have to do what's right for you before you can get right with anyone else... you know? You have to figure out what works for you, and—pardon the cheesy expression—and, then don't be afraid to "own" it.
Good luck.
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