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Most people are the same way. At least 1 out of 2 people. At the very least.
Once you stop being useful to people, they move on and leave you out of their life.
It's just something that is, the way people are. Those who realize it make new friends, date a new person the next week, move on fast, and are generally happier I believe.
There is much truth to that, especially the part I bolded. It's why I have eliminated the vast majority of people from my life. I'm not a tool or utility for other people.
The majority of my friends have been friends since high school. Three of them have been my friends for 30 years, and I'm only 35.
I have a grand total of ONE friend that knows how to pick up the phone and make a call or send a text. And I no longer hang out with him because he can't seem to do ANYTHING without his heinously ugly, divorced mother of three girlfriend. I KNOW that she's using him, I know that she will cheat on him (she cheated WITH him while she was married, you'd think that would be a sign), I've told him in no uncertain terms what I think of her and how their 'relationship' will play out, and yet still when he invites me to dinner or a movie or whatever, and I ask him who's going, she's included, so I decline.
You're right in that those who realize it and move on are happier, too. That's been my experience.
What's kind of creepy, is I had plans with a couple guys (a few weeks apart) on a popular dating site that I thought was more reputable/safe... Both guys were very handsome, educated etc and I was crushed when they both cancelled at the last minute. I later found out they flaked because they weren't the person in their profile pictures! I found out by doing some reverse googling after the fact. I was glad I hadn't met up with them and been sorely disappointed or humiliated in person, but it was freaky. Why pay $20+/month for a fake profile?? That's borderline sociopathic to me. To make it worse, I reported them but the site didn't do anything. I've figured out three reasons why online people flake on dates: it's not really them, they found someone else, or they're too nervous/have social issues of some sort.
I've figured out three reasons why online people flake on dates: it's not really them, they found someone else, or they're too nervous/have social issues of some sort.
My friend recently had someone from OKC cancel on her at the last minute, but he at least told her it was because he'd met someone else.
Perhaps, but it was a little unsettling to have someone I've never met already planning which one of us would ultimately move to where the other lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Haha, maybe he thought it was sexy.
Based on the poses, he definitely found the leather sexy. Along with wearing women's shoes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LXXXI
So, you cyber-stalker types, what would you think of someone who had no Fakebook, Twitter, or any of the rest of that crap?
That he possibly doesn't waste a lot of time online, or he doesn't really care what other people think.
What's kind of creepy, is I had plans with a couple guys (a few weeks apart) on a popular dating site that I thought was more reputable/safe... Both guys were very handsome, educated etc
No hate, but it didn't hit you as to "Why?" Mr. Perfect was online and would have to resort to that?
Yes, there are trolls out there. Google image right clicking works wonders.
No hate, but it didn't hit you as to "Why?" Mr. Perfect was online and would have to resort to that?
Yes, there are trolls out there. Google image right clicking works wonders.
Here we go again... Are you implying that there are no handsome and educated men on dating sites? Because you'd be wrong. Regarding people using fake pics, I do reverse image searches all the time and have caught some people with fake pics, but no one I was ever going to meet up with. There were two guys in particular who had really gorgeous model-type pictures and I thought they might be fakes, so I did a reverse image search which lead me to amateur modeling sites for both of these guys. But even so, the pics were NOT fake, and I met up with both of them and they were really the guys in the photos.
Monday of last week I got flaked on, the guy was a no-show.
Today (Tuesday, this week) I got flaked on again-by a different guy, from OLD.
I arrived on time at the agreed-upon place, and waited as long as I could handle, which was about 20 mins. or so.
All I can say to myself is that these individuals (by their absence) showed their true colors, that they're unreliable-which is, in itself, a dealbreaker for me.
People who disrespect my time & cause me to waste my money (had to buy something at the place so as to not be ejected for loitering) are unsuitable for me.
There's just no way to know which folks they are until one makes a good-faith attempt to interact, meet face-to-face, and the other person fails to appear.
No last-minute cancellations or update/change came from either person, they just plain old stood me up.
Knew better than to have high hopes of getting along great, but at least I could've gotten some social practice at talking with new people
(getting to know strangers is not a well-developed skill, I need the mental exercise).
Does make me cross , but I won't waste any more of my energy considering these people who are *not* "a credit to their gender", men with whom it would seem I'm incompatible.
No point pining over circumstances that didn't work out, so I'm moving forward to find other people who have not (yet, and hopefully won't be) proven to be flaky.
I've never stood someone up, my conscience wouldn't allow me to behave in that way.
Monday of last week I got flaked on, the guy was a no-show.
Today (Tuesday, this week) I got flaked on again-by a different guy, from OLD.
I arrived on time at the agreed-upon place, and waited as long as I could handle, which was about 20 mins. or so.
All I can say to myself is that these individuals (by their absence) showed their true colors, that they're unreliable-which is, in itself, a dealbreaker for me.
People who disrespect my time & cause me to waste my money (had to buy something at the place so as to not be ejected for loitering) are unsuitable for me.
There's just no way to know which folks they are until one makes a good-faith attempt to interact, meet face-to-face, and the other person fails to appear.
No last-minute cancellations or update/change came from either person, they just plain old stood me up.
Knew better than to have high hopes of getting along great, but at least I could've gotten some social practice at talking with new people
(getting to know strangers is not a well-developed skill, I need the mental exercise).
Does make me cross , but I won't waste any more of my energy considering these people who are *not* "a credit to their gender", men with whom it would seem I'm incompatible.
No point pining over circumstances that didn't work out, so I'm moving forward to find other people who have not (yet, and hopefully won't be) proven to be flaky.
I've never stood someone up, my conscience wouldn't allow me to behave in that way.
I'm sorry to hear that. Did they confirm the day of and still not show up?
I'm sorry to hear that. Did they confirm the day of and still not show up?
Thanks^ for saying it.
Person 1, he confirmed late Sat. night (for Mon. afternoon), but since he didn't confirm again Sun. I was somewhat skeptical.
However, I felt I had to show up, just in case, so I wouldn't be standing him up ('cause I'm trying to be a good & reliable person).
After that, I didn't even bother writing to him again to say "that was pretty careless/callous of you", and he never wrote to offer me a reason.
Person 2, he confirmed on same day, today (for this afternoon)-
and now I see he's replied to my msg. where I said "you didn't show up" and claims that he did.
So I don't know what the heck that means...was he in an alternate universe or something ?
If there had been an attempt at a valid/believable excuse (I know, unexpected stuff can happen),
that's one thing-but there hasn't even been that.
I remind myself that there are considerate & prompt people who do what they say they're going to do
(follow through on plans made with a person)-I just have to weed out the other ones, it would seem
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, but I won't waste any more of my energy 
considering these people who are *not* "a credit to their gender", men with whom it would seem I'm incompatible.
Thanks^ for saying it. 
