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Do you think it's fair to push your partner to aim higher than what they want? How important is it that two people have the same level of ambition? Would you be upset if your partner suddenly decided they wanted a downgrade (not as drastic as what Kevin Spacey did in American Beauty, but maybe one step down from where they are now)?
I'll agree with most of the people on this thread. I feel it's more important for someone to be happy than to be ambitious. I think a partner - and friends, and acquaintances, and family members - should encourage someone to go higher if they feel that person lacks confidence in being able to get promoted, etc. But if the person is just simply happy with where they are, then great for them. I'd rather a happy partner than one who's gone all the time or stressed to the point of eventual burnout.
When you think about it, both partners in the OP's post had the same level of ambition. The girlfriend wanted advances at work (for what, not sure - validation? Status? Buying a private jet? Eventual world domination?), but the boyfriend had ambition to be happy and enjoy his life.
I guess for some people their job is their identity and sense of self-worth. I've struggled with this idea myself, when I was working part-time and what some might consider lower wage jobs (although to me they weren't). But I'm coming to a place in my life where how I see myself, and what I do to pay the bills, are different things. This is sort of going off topic, but I guess that a couple would need to be on the same page regarding these things.
There is more to life than career. I DO think it's quite boring when people don't achieve to better themselves, but I don't mean the corporate ladder at all. For example, I know I am VERY content with never being a manager, however there are several other aspects to my life besides my career. For example, I have ambitions to better myself as an athlete, I am constantly reading (I am naturally curious), trying new recipes, etc. When someone says they are lacking ambition, I imagine someone with absolutely NO interests that they pursue/wish to further expand themselves upon. Think of someone who sits at home and watches tv all day. As long as you are confident in yourself, and are actively expanding your horizons or pursuing something you have passion about, I think you have PLENTY of ambition.
It sounds like she was stuck on the idea that the only thing worth a darn is your career goals. If anything, I see it as a big plus that he was confident in his work and feels satisfied.
There is more to life than career. I DO think it's quite boring when people don't achieve to better themselves, but I don't mean the corporate ladder at all. For example, I know I am VERY content with never being a manager, however there are several other aspects to my life besides my career. For example, I have ambitions to better myself as an athlete, I am constantly reading (I am naturally curious), trying new recipes, etc. When someone says they are lacking ambition, I imagine someone with absolutely NO interests that they pursue/wish to further expand themselves upon. Think of someone who sits at home and watches tv all day. As long as you are confident in yourself, and are actively expanding your horizons or pursuing something you have passion about, I think you have PLENTY of ambition.
It sounds like she was stuck on the idea that the only thing worth a darn is your career goals. If anything, I see it as a big plus that he was confident in his work and feels satisfied.
Her loss.
Whose loss is really debatable, but the important thing is they both had choices to make, and they did
Whose loss is really debatable, but the important thing is they both had choices to make, and they did
Well of course, c'est la vie. I'm sure there is more to this story than I know and I won't pretend I read every single response.
I think it's doing yourself a disservice to base your decision with your partner on one aspect of their life (in this case, career). But for all I know, the guy could have been a whiner about everything.
Well of course, c'est la vie. I'm sure there is more to this story than I know and I won't pretend I read every single response.
I think it's doing yourself a disservice to base your decision with your partner on one aspect of their life (in this case, career). But for all I know, the guy could have been a whiner about everything.
Oh, completely agree! Was just saying I can see both partner's side in a situation like this
Ambition is a somewhat subjective term depending on one's socio-economic status. This is probably a fairly affluent forum; here, ambition might mean aiming at getting a master's degree or taking a promotion overseas, but for someone from a poor urban area it might mean simply finishing high school and getting steady employment. A 100k a year is decidedly above average for the US (or anywhere else for that matter), it's pretty obvious this lady was living in a bubble.
Sounds like a woman who isn't ever going to be happy with her man.
Guy is happy with his work, probably makes enough money to do whatever he wants, including vacations, nice home, have nice things and still increase his bank account at the end of the month, and his GF is nagging him trying to push him into taking on more hours to make more money that he probably doesn't need. People can say whatever they want about this, but she sounds like she's high maintenance and will probably always have some problem with her BF. That doesn't sound like a good person to me at all.
I think living below your means is important too... it allows you to have some money in the bank in case of an emergency, water goes out... fridge takes a dump on you.... it's always something or other that crops up.
My BIL and SIL don't have a dime saved, they have hit up Mrs. Chow's dad a couple times over the yrs because they needed something or other.... I would slit my wrists before I asked her dad for a friggin dime.
But that's just how we roll.
All the financial planners always talk about having 6 months of living expenses in the bank.... I doubt a good chunk of Americans have that. I know everyone in our family doesn't...heck, we don't either, but it's a goal that we're striving toward.
I think living below your means is important too... it allows you to have some money in the bank in case of an emergency, water goes out... fridge takes a dump on you.... it's always something or other that crops up.
My BIL and SIL don't have a dime saved, they have hit up Mrs. Chow's dad a couple times over the yrs because they needed something or other.... I would slit my wrists before I asked her dad for a friggin dime.
But that's just how we roll.
All the financial planners always talk about having 6 months of living expenses in the bank.... I doubt a good chunk of Americans have that. I know everyone in our family doesn't...heck, we don't either, but it's a goal that we're striving toward.
LOL.. sorry... I have a way of speaking that isn't always the most PC or pleasant sounding...
How about if the fridge decides to give up the ghost......
That sounds a little better...
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