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Forty days of OKStupid and 30 days of Madtch were all I could take. I deactivated my profiles last night. Never even met anyone from Madtch, though I had plenty of messages--if you can consider, "hi, how r u" a message.
If I didn't consider that or some variation of it a message, I'd have about 5 messages instead of between 25-30.
My break from OKC is going quite well. I haven't received a message since June 20th and my weekly average of visitors is down to 29, so it hasn't been that hard to stay off the site. (I log in every day or so so I still show as active; I'm not putting any effort into it at the moment beyond that).
If you're talking to someone online, that's not dating. That's just talking. And the purpose to find people worth dating.
Precisely! I really just don't get why it's impossible to get through that "we seem like we might be compatible" barrier to the "let's get a coffee and chat to see" phase. I don't get it. What more do you have to do to prequalify to talk? :-/
Yes. Exactly that. It's not like I'm going to contact someone who sounds unfun or a dullard just because of lifestyle overlap. Frankly, a lot of those traits in people come out in conversion, especially in-person... hence my desire to DATE women off online dating.
It's still a zero sum game for me approaching it exactly as you state.
That's why it's so good to meet people in person in places like Meetup (they have groups that go on hikes, and to movies), to groups that do volunteering (for example to aid the homeless - lots of really, really nice women there of all ages and you're doing good while meeting nice people), and so on.
IMO, the guys who complain about women being superficial on dating sites are actually just bitter because they're being rejected. So they cope with that rejection by accusing the women of having standards that are too high. I'm not saying there aren't women both on and offline whose standards are probably too high. But I tend to roll my eyes whenever guys say this is the kind of woman you tend to see the most online.
So how come if I do a google search "online dating fake profile male model" I get the proof in the pudding?
Sending 50 well crafted messages and only 3 or 4 one line replies, that's every guys experience. If so many people say the same thing, eventually you start thinking it might be true.
That's why it's so good to meet people in person in places like Meetup (they have groups that go on hikes, and to movies), to groups that do volunteering (for example to aid the homeless - lots of really, really nice women there of all ages and you're doing good while meeting nice people), and so on.
Yeah, but it's a COMPLETE crapshoot (biased heavily towards the house) if they want to squeeze out babies to take to church with them... hence online dating.
I find Meetups, in general, to be pretty crap so far as the selection of women anyway. I still go, and end up meeting okay people conversationally, but no one that really lights my torch so to speak. Too many go getters trying to impress over flirt, or second lifers looking for similar fare to share the empty nest with.
Yeah, but it's a COMPLETE crapshoot (biased heavily towards the house) if they want to squeeze out babies to take to church with them... hence online dating.
I find Meetups, in general, to be pretty crap so far as the selection of women anyway. I still go, and end up meeting okay people conversationally, but no one that really lights my torch so to speak. Too many go getters trying to impress over flirt, or second lifers looking for similar fare to share the empty nest with.
Everything in life is a crapshoot. Nothing in life is a guarantee. We've lost sight of that.
Besides, your mind needs to be on friendship, not on "i'm gonna find me a girl ASAP!!!" You don't need to be sounding emergency fire alarms, as if there were a deadline for finding a woman.
Dating is about encountering a lot of people, and hopefully along the way meeting people who are nice, maybe one of them being a girl who will be not perfect, but a rather good fit. It's not a relay race, you know.
What's more, the more you network, the more people you meet, and the more people see you and pretty soon you won't be a guy hiding in a cave, but a guy out there actively involved in life, doing good things, showing people that you are a nice guy. NICE IS NOT A BAD WORD. PSYCHO IS A BAD WORD.
Everything in life is a crapshoot. Nothing in life is a guarantee. We've lost sight of that.
Besides, your mind needs to be on friendship, not on "i'm gonna find me a girl ASAP!!!" You don't need to be sounding emergency fire alarms, as if there were a deadline for finding a woman.
Dating is about encountering a lot of people, and hopefully along the way meeting people who are nice, maybe one of them being a girl who will be not perfect, but a rather good fit. It's not a relay race, you know.
It is and it isn't. I'm growing a bit impatient, and I think it's fair to think that way. I'm at a point in my life where my career is in gear, have disposable income, and the means to enjoy all that in a similar manner many of my friends do or have done: Travelling, being adventurous, weekending with friends/other couples, meeting new people, etc. before they all start families and have board game nights instead of trips to Rocky Point.
I'm 37 and a lot of my peers are past that, or gearing up to move to a more insular family life. I do think there is somewhat of a timetable on 'life-phase 3' or whatever you call it. It helps, of course, that I don't want to start a family to interfere with that, but I don't think interminable patience is a good attitude to have about it.
It is and it isn't. I'm growing a bit impatient, and I think it's fair to think that way. I'm at a point in my life where my career is in gear, have disposable income, and the means to enjoy all that in a similar manner many of my friends do or have done: Travelling, being adventurous, weekending with friends/other couples, meeting new people, etc. before they all start families and have board game nights instead of trips to Rocky Point.
I'm 37 and a lot of my peers are past that, or gearing up to move to a more insular family life. I do think there is somewhat of a timetable on 'life-phase 3' or whatever you call it. It helps, of course, that I don't want to start a family to interfere with that, but I don't think interminable patience is a good attitude to have about it.
37 and with disposable income? That's a good situation to be in.
completely sucked for me. Nothing but whackos and people who look nothing like their pictures
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