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In a recent counseling visit, the therapist put us through an exercise. This is not really couples counseling per se, because of problems with our relationship. Its more coping with outside factors and incidents that effect our relationship, and dealing with them together. Keeping up our mutual support for each other to overcome those things.
Anyway , she had us do this exercise, a common one with actual couples therapy, where we list everything we love about each other. Basically evaluating the foundation we are standing on. Lol, well, its not as easy as it sounds, and some of the answers surprised even us. Turns out, its the littlest(seemingly) things that really matter the most. In and of itself, that's not surprising so much, especially now and where we are at with each other, but, it was very helpful, and interesting, to not look at the obvious things and more at the glue that holds them together.
Under more common circumstances, this exercise is aimed at putting couples back in touch, and trying to get them back to basics, and why they were drawn to each other to begin with. In our case, it was aimed more at vetting us to see how far we had come in fighting to overcome mutual trauma, and actually seeing and appreciating how far we've come together. Our relationship is strong, and she (the therapist) wanted us to see just how strong. Building up our pride in each other. When we realized just how much we have come to lean on each other, and wby, it was eye opening. Such a seemingly innocuous exercise really opened up some doors and windows.
I don't really have a question here, the purpose of posting this is just to see how much feedback I can generate from anyone who can relate. If there were to be a question at the core, I suppose it would be how often people actually evaluate there relationship with their partner at this level, without prompting. Im becoming used to doing it daily, just to remind myself of my obligations to the relationship and also of why I'm in it. And, that both of us are in it to win it.
Any one have any thoughts or experiences on a totally positive level to share, feel free.
WARNING , there is no room for negativity here. Our situation with this deals with how an already happy and committed couple deal with crisis and trauma as a team. Positively. Another possible scenerio is how a couple being pulled apart can come back together. Positively. I'm sure there are other situations this can apply to, and I'm hoping this generates some of those to come forward. Success stories welcome!
Yay! I'm glad this exercise was such a good one for you two .
How can you build on it? Tell her at least one new thing every day. I did that in my last relationship. Or tell each other 10 things each week on date night .
It's the small things that really matter, such as loving the way she smells straight out of the shower....or the way her lip gets tight when she is holding back on a secret....or how her eyes roll to the side, when she is ready to tell the punchline to a joke....yes, the small things that mean nothing to others, can be the cement to your own relationship, being aware of them, is what's important.
It's the small things that really matter, such as loving the way she smells straight out of the shower....or the way her lip gets tight when she is holding back on a secret....or how her eyes roll to the side, when she is ready to tell the punchline to a joke....yes, the small things that mean nothing to others, can be the cement to your own relationship, being aware of them, is what's important.
Oh HELL yea!!!. Lol, in doing this it was actually really FUN to look at all of those things. And actually telling this stuff to each other. Some of the stuff we each took for granted in ourselves be something really special to our other half. Some of the craziest sounding stuff. Bwahahaha!! And its great. I do believe this ...teqnique, as it were, will be daily exercise for quite a spell go come. I do believe every happy couple should do the same. Such a simple thing to. And fun.
Oh HELL yea!!!. Lol, in doing this it was actually really FUN to look at all of those things. And actually telling this stuff to each other. Some of the stuff we each took for granted in ourselves be something really special to our other half. Some of the craziest sounding stuff. Bwahahaha!! And its great. I do believe this ...teqnique, as it were, will be daily exercise for quite a spell go come. I do believe every happy couple should do the same. Such a simple thing to. And fun.
LOL, it's funny, I recently saw Good Will Hunting again, and Robin Williams was talking about his deceased wife, and he said it's the little things, like how she would fart in bed, and deny it....lol...I had to LOL, because I had an ex, who would do that, but she wouldn't deny it, she would say, my farts don't stink though....and I admit, I checked, and no matter how hard I inhaled, I never got a taste, so she was telling the truth!.... But I think it's great practice to just let them know, like, I really love the way your face glows, and how your smile widens, when I hand over my paycheck...lol
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But I think it's great practice to just let them know, like, I really love the way your face glows, and how your smile widens, when I hand over my paycheck...lol
