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Wow, i guess sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. One of the reasons I decided to go to this forum because i wanted to get an unbiased consensus. Though I know there's more to every story I tried to keep it relevant as possible. I'm not going to try to reconcile my relationship with my ex. Its going to be a big change style lifestyle but I realize its truly for the best. I do appreciate the input everyone. Keep up the support when it comes to relationship advice, you're helping people like myself everyday. Thanks.
ok so there are some mixed views out there. This whole situation has definitely put some doubt in my head. It seems like we're on the cusp of such a great situation and to be honest her views sound a lot like NilaJones. She feels very negative about our future which doesn't make sense to me. I see no point in having someone move and live with me to just hook up with other girls that I could've been with a single man and dumper her. That makes no sense at all
OP, if you give in to her temper tantrum now, you are setting yourself up for this type of continued behavior on her part. Think about it before you propose, OK?
Hmmm! You are out of school now and on your first leg into a career. Where do you see yourself professionally in 3 to 5 years without total support on the home front? It is a tantrum and a ring now? What will be next? Where is the partnership, the sharing and caring in this relationship? You are not the first one in her life who did not cash out in the sense of the word. What kind of adult goes through teenie fits like blocking a phone number of her mate of quite a while?
I'm really glad you decided to let her go. I really cannot believe there was any question after she demanded such an expensive ring. Why do guys put up with this kind of behavior?
I'm really glad you decided to let her go. I really cannot believe there was any question after she demanded such an expensive ring. Why do guys put up with this kind of behavior?
Well obviously she isn't all bad. And I hope thats the perception you all have of her. She has good qualities but fundamental flaws of course. I think there's too much BS influences she gets from her social circle, media, etc. Too many expect life to be about status, material things, etc. She just needs to grow up and realize that the best things in life are earned and a real relationship is a partnership not some fantasy where one spoils the other.
So it wasn't long ago I thought my future was set. I was in arms reach in receiving an advanced business degree and employer interest promising me a great future. The best part of my future was going to be the ability of my gf and Ig to take the next step. Grad school posed a great inconvenience for us bc of lomg distance and we were unable to do things we wanted like get engaged due lack of excess funds, timing, etc. Now the time is come and I have been offered a great position in Tx which I'm thrilled about. While discussing the job to my gf she flipped out. She took me entertaining the job offer as me not choosing to be with her. I was hoping to save money in a great economical setting compared to Cali and propose to her with the ring she'd love. Is that a bad or selfish thing? What makes matters worst is her social circle. She tends to pay too much mind to bitter married, divorced or just single women that tend to always be a negative influence on our relationship if you get my vibe. Anyway my gf says that the relationship was over and that "if I wanted to be with her I would've proposed already" ( I was in grad school) and she "deserves someone who would do anything for her". Now she's completely off the grid to me. I'm giving her space hoping that she comes to her senses but was wondering if I'm being insensitive or is she just being irrational about the whole thing?
Go to Texas and start your life there. With or without her.
Well obviously she isn't all bad. And I hope thats the perception you all have of her. She has good qualities but fundamental flaws of course. I think there's too much BS influences she gets from her social circle, media, etc. Too many expect life to be about status, material things, etc. She just needs to grow up and realize that the best things in life are earned and a real relationship is a partnership not some fantasy where one spoils the other.
What are your priorities? Your life and career or nursing an adult with obvious issues? Sorry! I made a decision a long time ago and everything was stacked against us but us. It took the "us" to make it.
What if - your job does not pan out? One of you has severe medical issues (knock on wood)? A child? Life is where you are not where her friends are?
Well here's update. My best friend's gf tried to reach out to her last night I guess bc all this made no sense to her and considering when we were all on a couple's vacay last month, my (ex)gf was telling her that our next step would be made after I took position and became settled somewhere. She also included she's tired of the long distance relationship and our problems in the past was enough. Up until my mention of the job offer she was acting so in love and excited about the future. I was also supposed to fly down to see her yesterday but she gave me a "courtesy" call to tell me not to come. So it sounds like she so desperate to make any excuse to rationalize her irrational behavior.
I can't stand long distance relationships either and would lose my patience if the time apart was extended suddenly.
Your relationship is about "us", not "her", and all Im hearing from you is what she wants. I didnt hear much about how much she cares about you and wants the best for the relationship.
Why reward her bad behavior and disrespect? Marriage is not something you do out of an ultimatum.
Sounds like OP dodged a bullet.
This was my exact thoughts as well...... Sounds like he got lucky, if you ask me.
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