exceptional hearing wife is very loud (married, women, husband, advice)
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I have hearing problems. Contrary to what some believe, having hearing problems isn't about volume, it's about clarity. We lose the ability to differentiate the different sounds we're hearing. This is made worse if we've lost the hearing of some frequencies. As men age, we tend to lose the higher frequencies while women tend to lose the lower frequencies. I've worked in the engine room of Navy ships and currently work in the boiler room of a hospital. I've lost more than 50% of my hearing in my left ear due to ear drum replacement surgery and that was once my good ear.
My wife has exceptional hearing. From the bedroom with the door closed, she can hear me open the wrapper on a slice of cheese even with the TV on.
Because of my wife's exceptional hearing, I do things gently. I close the cabinet doors gently, I place my boots on the floor, I place sliverware in the sink, etc. So why is my 4'11" wife so loud? I regularly ask her to not be so loud and she regularly ignores my pleas. She allows the cabinet doors to slam shut, she drops things on the floor (shoes, magazines, bags of groceries, etc), she tosses silverware into the sink, and somehow she manages to even prepare a bowl of salad loudly (bagged cut greens). She was so loud I couldn't even hear what was being said on the TV. I've been diagnosed with PTSD & Aspergers so loud sudden noises makes me jump and puts me on edge. She knows this and does loud things like this without ever stopping to think about what it does to me. Only time she tries to be quiet is when I'm sleeping, unless she's watching football then she's screaming and cursing up a storm.
I don't communicate verbally well. I'm thinking about writing her a letter and leaving it for her to let her know how loud she is sometimes and how such loud noises effects me.
What kind of treatment are you getting for the PTSD?
It sounds like the things she is doing are normal things, and not what anyone else would consider loud. It's normal to have to turn the tv up when someone is cooking in the other room (or even when someone is home with you, if they are doing anything other than reading). So your wisest course would be to treat your hypersensitivity, instead of expecting her to be even quieter than she is.
Your wife is, as my husband says, "a brute". I think the loudness is magnified by your hearing aid. I presume you use hearing aid? And we all know hearing aids are just microphone stuck in your ear. Just turn off your mic err hearing aid when she slams everything in the house.
If you have sensory issues (many people with Asperger's do, and people with PTSD may, as well, though I'm not nearly so well-versed in that particular issue), bear in mind that your wife's actions are not necessarily out of bounds and crazy loud...you are just perceiving them as such due to your increased sensitivity to various frequencies of noise. People should be considerate, but "dropping shoes on the floor," and the level of noise created by opening bagged salad, etc. is not out of the realm of normal household noise.
Your wife is, as my husband says, "a brute". I think the loudness is magnified by your hearing aid. I presume you use hearing aid? And we all know hearing aids are just microphone stuck in your ear. Just turn off your mic err hearing aid when she slams everything in the house.
No hearing aid. Not there yet and even if I did need them, can't wear them in the boiler room.
My advice is to turn down your hearing aid, get self closing cabinets, a liner for your dish drain, wall to wall carpeting, and you make the salad.
If she is busy cooking and being noisy, you can put on noise canceling headphones or turn up the TV. Music also works wonders.
You obviously are very quiet for your benefit, as the noise you might obviously doesn't bother your wife. I would stop doing these things for her benefit.
Resentment only magnifies small irritations like these.
Edit: I see you don't have a hearing issue. I think you need some nice noise canceling headphones. You are obviously on noise overload at your job.
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