Being left

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by dragon_fly_12

There is a book called "Runaway Husbands" that you might be able to relate to. The discussion is how the relationship is normal by all appearances and everything is fine.. right up until it is not, and the "offending" spouse / partner is left wondering what the heck just happened.

I won't dive into the similarities I see with your situation, but I do highly recommend you read it.

And, hun, please don't blame yourself. He told you that you were "overbearing" because it was the first item he could come up with to convince himself that he was unhappy. My marriage also ended abruptly, and after the fact, I was accused of everything from emotional to physical abuse - and none of it was true. Yes, you have a part of whatever has happened between you two, but you're only 50% of the equation. He is the other 50%.

People that have not experienced this type of relationship end simply do not understand your situation... Most relationships that end had months of a downward spiral and everyone could see the writing on the wall. You case, like mine, was not that at all. You were blindsided by a decision he had been preparing for while fooling you into believing that life was grand.

Thank you, I will try to borrow it from the library.

[bluemoon75]

Most times, if they planned everything, they already know they are out. A good chunk of the reason is he already has someone else and is too cowardly to tell you the truth. The guilty conscience sometimes makes them acquiesce to everything that is going on, planning marriage and such. But they do it because it would appear to be nicer than to tell you the truth. I'm sorry this happened to you, but it is VERY fortunate this occurred before you guys tied the knot. It would be a pain in the butt to deal with a divorce and custody issues.. Is he going to continue supporting his child? Or did he check out of that too?

[dragon_fly_12]

Originally Posted by bluemoon75

Most times, if they planned everything, they already know they are out. A good chunk of the reason is he already has someone else and is too cowardly to tell you the truth. The guilty conscience sometimes makes them acquiesce to everything that is going on, planning marriage and such. But they do it because it would appear to be nicer than to tell you the truth. I'm sorry this happened to you, but it is VERY fortunate this occurred before you guys tied the knot. It would be a pain in the butt to deal with a divorce and custody issues.. Is he going to continue supporting his child? Or did he check out of that too?

If he moves out, she needs to file custody so that those issues are not his choice.