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I have my doubts you can really alter your own personality drastically but there's going to be someone out there who finds all your quirks adorable. People who find dating success after altering their personality probably didn't alter their personality but figured out how to market themselves better. Your personality is based on your genetic makeup interacting with the environment and has been in development since birth. There is probably very little you can do on a day to day basis to change it.
Adi do you have any female friends? One thing I think would be a good idea is to just see how females work. we are so much different than men.
I think by getting to know some girls as just friends will help you learn how to act around them and what they expect from men. It would be a first step to becoming comfortable around them.
I am of the belief that you don't really change your personality, it is the same for the most part all along the way. We grow in life, and that is different.
Also, you should not have to change for any woman, but only for yourself. The same with women.
You don't really need to change much, just put yourself in social situations where there are women around, and talk to them like they're your sister or cousin. Don't be afraid to say things to them that you would say to your buddies.
When I was going through your problem I found it easiest to just start up random conversations with people. It was hard, some people ignored me, but when people spoke back and started a conversation it was usually pretty fun.
Not just with attractive women, everyone, everywhere you are.
Well, mom is sort of budding out. I mentioned that in my first post. But I know she wont let go completely. She wants to know who I am going out with, just to make sure I don't run into trouble. After all, I am her son and she wants to make sure I stay safe. She is fairly confident and trust's I can hold my own in other aspects.
My major fear regarding personality is making a negative remark on women. Suppose she indulges in risky behavior which might lead to trouble. How I can convince her that she is doing something wrong, without making her get emotional.
I had this problem with my cousin sister. She overspeed's, swerves, and when I comment on her driving as risky she swears at me . Why ?
Stay safe? From what--female rapists and dates that turn into muggings? What's your mom afraid of?
The women you date aren't your cousin's sister. They won't swear at you. Most women drive safely. However, few people appreciate a "backseat driver", someone critiquing their driving, so dial that back.
You're over-worrying this. Just get out and enjoy conversations with women. You seem so conscientious, I can't imagine you'd make a tactless negative remark. Just enjoy getting to know people. That's all dating is. No personality shift necessary. Avoid situations that have the potential to get out of control, like wild parties. There are plenty of women who aren't interested in that. Be selective.
I am in my early 20's and mom was talking to me about entering the relationship period. One thing women always value highly is a fantastic personality, and I want to know how to develop one. Should I take classes or self learn. I have a few bad habits that need to be extinguished immediately, so I am considering a change. I want to reform into a polished gentleman, and need to know how. Mom said she could only guide me so far, and now it's up to me as a full grown man. I am excited in undertaking the journey, but a rough direction would help me traverse this period. So, tell me how you went through the period of personality shift.
One thing that helped me develop a personality was that I looked at people who had better personalities and decided on what personality I wanted to emulate. Probably doesn't make sense but I am a little pressed for time.
One thing that helped me develop a personality was that I looked at people who had better personalities and decided on what personality I wanted to emulate. Probably doesn't make sense but I am a little pressed for time.
Having role models is definitely helpful. But that should have been taking place throughout the teens and college years, if not earlier. (I'm speaking about the OP.)
Having role models is definitely helpful. But that should have been taking place throughout the teens and college years, if not earlier. (I'm speaking about the OP.)
I agree with you Ruth. By the OPs age your personality is set. I think the OP might mean something other than what he describes in the title.
I agree with you Ruth. By the OPs age your personality is set. I think the OP might mean something other than what he describes in the title.
This is what I'm wondering, too. It would be helpful if the OP could clarify what he means. Judging by subsequent posts, it seems like he's just feeling a little awkward about how to talk to and interact with women compatibly.
I agree with you Ruth. By the OPs age your personality is set.
I think there are minor fixes that need to be done to my personality. If at all I can change for the better, then this is the best time to do it. I need things to be set before venturing out alone this fall.
Just like Amtrak tweaked the tracks and cantenary last fall before inaugurating high speed trains for the holiday season.
Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 07-08-2014 at 01:00 PM..
Just like Amtrak tweaked the tracks and cantenary last fall before inaugurating high speed trains for the holiday season.
Well, sort of ....
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. Why ?
