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The two of you must have really, really, really been burnt bad. Sorry.
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Originally Posted by highlife2
You mean like women not walking away or cheating or getting divorced, you mean like marriage actually meaning something and people being responsible (other than in the cases of extreme physical abuse). Women like to play the responsibility card but they are the ones that are walking out majority of the time for lame reasons or diliberatly sabatoging the marriage so that the man cheats.
there should be consequences for that kind of behavior but there is not so we just get to deal with the break down of society. Of course a guy does not want to support a kid of a woman who did not hold up her end of the deal. He got married to trade commitment for sex, now the sex is gone and he is still expected to hold up his end, thats a huge injustice.
So women can scream and yell all they want but men are going to be "manning up" less and less becuase women stopped "womaning up" years ago.
Marriage is still alive and well. Men still want to get married. Of course some marriages are going to fail. For some the reasons are obvious and for many there are multitudes of complicated reasons and series of unfortunate events. The thing is to do your best to marry well and for the right reasons. The problem is not divorce law. The problem lies in our nature and actions.
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Originally Posted by highlife2
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Men invented marriage becuase marriage used to be an actual contract that had legal consequences tied to it. Women could not just run off like ferel cats because they felt like it. There was a sense of ownership of the wife and kids by the man.
Now a marriage is indistinguishable from a live in relationship. Its sad but thats what the whole aim of feminism was, to destroy the family. So that women could do what ever they wanted when ever they wanted on someone else dime with no obligation of sex.
I have always believed, that if you are too worried about what you will lose in a divorce, before you are even engaged, that you are either too much of a self absorbed prick or beach, to really get married. Dude this question is so lame, that I hope it's not preventing you from losing your virginity.....always with the low post counts....
if you're not worried about it then you're a complete idiot
What we really need to change isn't so much our divorce laws, but our societal habits and core precepts. A more fatalistic and communitarian world-view would, in my view, be preferable in so many ways; not only as regards relationships and jobs, but education, infrastructure, advancement of science and the arts, and overall betterment of the human condition. I don't mean repudiation of private property or collective-farms. But I do mean a system where the taking of risks is incentivized, or dis-incentivized, in a way beyond merely free-market pressures.
I rejoice whenever I hear of happy marriages, and far from biliously envying Dewdrop or regarding her position as somehow spurious or illegitimate, I wish her and her partner a long and happy life together.
I'm convinced that the freedom to choose is often the freedom to blunder. And I agree with Timberline that many of our choices are irrational. For a husband to leave his nagging, aging wife is an irrational choice, a choice driven by hormonal bravado and self-delusion. If he considered rationally his own options, the pros and cons, he would stay and make the marriage work. His chasing after self-interest is in actuality contrary to his self-interest, only he's blinded by hubris. The drawback of freedom isn't necessarily that we'd be free to rationally maximize our own benefits, to the detriment of those of others, but that we'd actually short-change our own selves. This would be fine if the resulting failure only affected us personally. It would be fine if my leaving a good woman would only mean that I'd later be fleeced by some scheming arm-candy, or spent the remainder of my life alone. But there's a counterparty to my misadventure; namely, it was the former partner who was left. Something – some system – needs to protect that counterparty from my deleterious choice.
yes it's a mistake to divorce someone who makes you miserable- lmao where do you come up with this garbage?
the counterparty doesnt need to be protected- maybe the counterparty shoudnt get lazy,complacent and nag the guy to death.
maybe if the woman wants a divorce they guy should have treated her the way he did when they met.
life is too short to be miserable- and it's too short to be stuck with someone just bc you wanted to be with them 20 years ago.
let's all just have no choices and let the govt tell us what you do 24/7 so we can all be as miserable as you for the rest of our lives.
Then what you are advocating is leaving one spouse destitute or allowing all assets and investment be taken by the one with the most power and/or resources or by brute force and/or intimidation.
I know you will argue that this is exactly what happens in a legal court proceeding. Because you believe that the man always gets that shaft and the woman for some reason never financially contributes directly or indirectly to the relationship and I know you will never be convinced otherwise.
How do you figure property, investment, accounts, etc. be settled and divided legally and fairly without some sort of neutral third party? If you have joint assets and debt you cant just go your separate ways.
And what if kids are involved?
if there are no kids involved and only one person was working or both were working but one made a lot more money why should the person getting a free ride the whole marriage continue to benefit?
they should be glad they got a free ride all that time.
I think after the divorce, men should have the option to opt out of parenthood. And if they choose to be in their kids lives, they should be able to without state intervention.
ridiculous,you bring kids into the world you take care of them.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Funniest and most clueless post of the day right here!
no clueless is entering into a marriage contract and just assuming everything will work out and there is a 0 pct chance it ends in divorce.
in any contract or important you should weigh the pros and cons as well as the potential risks.the fact is many people are complete idiots, so they do none of these things.
if there are no kids involved and only one person was working or both were working but one made a lot more money why should the person getting a free ride the whole marriage continue to benefit?
they should be glad they got a free ride all that time.
Seldom does one party get a free ride. If this is the case something is wrong and the marriage was doomed from the get go and should end when it is apparent that one party is carrying all the weight all the time. Marriage is a partnership. It is not about who makes the most money it is about being a team and helping and supporting the other to make the best life possible for both parties. There are many ways this is achieved. Be on the same page about this because once the partnership has begun everything from that point on becomes one, money, assets, debt, responsibilities, priorities, obligations.
If you cant get on board with that don't partner up.
no clueless is entering into a marriage contract and just assuming everything will work out and there is a 0 pct chance it ends in divorce.
in any contract or important you should weigh the pros and cons as well as the potential risks.the fact is many people are complete idiots, so they do none of these things.
I believe one should go into marriage or relationship with eyes wide open and informed but that's not the same as being worried about losing assets that haven't yet been accumulated.
If you already have accumulated assets and it is a concern you can protect those assets, you mate up with someone of equal financial, educational and career oriented status, you take time to get to know that person and be sure you are on the same page as best you can. You don't mate up with someone because they are hot or the sex was awesome, someone with no assets, no job, etc. etc.
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