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So I met this girl when I was about 12 or so (19 now -- she's 21) and I liked her when I met her and the feelings lasted for about a year or so, but they fizzled out as I started hanging around her less and got to know other girls. So through the years I may have been slightly attracted to her at a few different times because she's a very pretty girl, but I never actually full on "liked her" other than the first time.
Skip to present time and we've been seeing each other more now and I recently went on a trip to the beach with her and some other friends which gave us the chance to get to know each other better and spend lots of time together for 4 days. I now can hardly stop thinking about her and if I'm ever about to see her I get those nice nervous butterflies in my stomach, but here is my predicament: She's a pretty flirty girl. She's very nice and talkative to everyone and just has that flirty body language, so it's hard to read any signals she might give off.
During our trip I noticed that she would touch me fairly often and I would find her looking at me randomly and smiling but she also kind of does that with other guys, but unless it was just my imagination and feelings getting in the way then I think she was doing it to me more. And one night we played a game called mafia (played in the dark) and we both "died" next to each other and she could have easily just laid beside me on the floor but she chose to lay her upper body on mine and rest her head on my shoulder with her hand holding my forearm.
I want to tell her I like her but I also don't wanna risk ruining our friendship because I had a mutual friend of ours tell me that she said "I hate that I can't have a close guy friend without them liking me." but the other day in front of me she said she "wishes guys would just tell her they like her instead of wasting time."
I guess my main worry is misreading signals that I think she's giving off and hurting our friendship and getting myself hurt. I know it's hard for you all to give much of an opinion since you don't know us, but I figured I would at least see if anyone has some insight. So anyway, to sum it up, do you think I should just go for it and tell her I like her and hope for the best, or should I keep my feelings to myself for now and see how it plays out in the future? I feel like this is very high school, but I've never been in a true relationship so oh well.
Sorry for a bit of a long story, but I felt the need to give some background info. If anything isn't clear then please let me know. Also does ignoring girls or paying more attention to them work better?
So I met this girl when I was about 12 or so (19 now -- she's 21) and I liked her when I met her and the feelings lasted for about a year or so, but they fizzled out as I started hanging around her less and got to know other girls. So through the years I may have been slightly attracted to her at a few different times because she's a very pretty girl, but I never actually full on "liked her" other than the first time.
Skip to present time and we've been seeing each other more now and I recently went on a trip to the beach with her and some other friends which gave us the chance to get to know each other better and spend lots of time together for 4 days. I now can hardly stop thinking about her and if I'm ever about to see her I get those nice nervous butterflies in my stomach, but here is my predicament: She's a pretty flirty girl. She's very nice and talkative to everyone and just has that flirty body language, so it's hard to read any signals she might give off.
During our trip I noticed that she would touch me fairly often and I would find her looking at me randomly and smiling but she also kind of does that with other guys, but unless it was just my imagination and feelings getting in the way then I think she was doing it to me more. And one night we played a game called mafia (played in the dark) and we both "died" next to each other and she could have easily just laid beside me on the floor but she chose to lay her upper body on mine and rest her head on my shoulder with her hand holding my forearm.
I want to tell her I like her but I also don't wanna risk ruining our friendship because I had a mutual friend of ours tell me that she said "I hate that I can't have a close guy friend without them liking me." but the other day in front of me she said she "wishes guys would just tell her they like her instead of wasting time."
I guess my main worry is misreading signals that I think she's giving off and hurting our friendship and getting myself hurt. I know it's hard for you all to give much of an opinion since you don't know us, but I figured I would at least see if anyone has some insight. So anyway, to sum it up, do you think I should just go for it and tell her I like her and hope for the best, or should I keep my feelings to myself for now and see how it plays out in the future? I feel like this is very high school, but I've never been in a true relationship so oh well.
Sorry for a bit of a long story, but I felt the need to give some background info. If anything isn't clear then please let me know. Also does ignoring girls or paying more attention to them work better?
Don't play games. Be cordial and casual.
Find some more 1-on-1 time with her. After hanging out alone for about 5 times, I'd then reveal my true feelings. That way, you keep her intrigued without scaring her off too much. The more relaxed and chill you are, the more likely she's able to let her guard down and be comfy with you on a more personal level. You have to earn her trust first, and share a sincere intention in getting to know her.
Best of luck. You can always do fun activities like go shoot pool, go skating (rollerblading), attend a museum, bowl, or go to a fair and just have fun. The thrill of going on a fast ride can also add to the adrenaline and excitement.
Let yourselves be kids again, and slowly something will develop.
If my intentions where to have a romantic relationship with a women I would let her know by asking her out.
No point in beating around the bush....only fear stops honest people from actions.
This seems like a lost communication in this day and age...everyone is too busy trying to peacock their way in to relationships
Let her know you are getting mixed signals and you are seeking to clear the air. Tell her your impressions of her actions and suggest you are uncertain what to think, but ask her what her intentions were in engaging in those behaviors. You will put the onus on her in explaining her behavior and you don't have to let on that you like her.
However, if you do decide to tell her of your attraction, let her know that you have valued her friendship and feel discomforted in knowing you are crossing a line you thought she created, which could ruin things between the two of you from that moment on.
So I met this girl when I was about 12 or so (19 now -- she's 21) and I liked her when I met her and the feelings lasted for about a year or so, but they fizzled out as I started hanging around her less and got to know other girls. So through the years I may have been slightly attracted to her at a few different times because she's a very pretty girl, but I never actually full on "liked her" other than the first time.
Skip to present time and we've been seeing each other more now and I recently went on a trip to the beach with her and some other friends which gave us the chance to get to know each other better and spend lots of time together for 4 days. I now can hardly stop thinking about her and if I'm ever about to see her I get those nice nervous butterflies in my stomach, but here is my predicament: She's a pretty flirty girl. She's very nice and talkative to everyone and just has that flirty body language, so it's hard to read any signals she might give off.
During our trip I noticed that she would touch me fairly often and I would find her looking at me randomly and smiling but she also kind of does that with other guys, but unless it was just my imagination and feelings getting in the way then I think she was doing it to me more. And one night we played a game called mafia (played in the dark) and we both "died" next to each other and she could have easily just laid beside me on the floor but she chose to lay her upper body on mine and rest her head on my shoulder with her hand holding my forearm.
I want to tell her I like her but I also don't wanna risk ruining our friendship because I had a mutual friend of ours tell me that she said "I hate that I can't have a close guy friend without them liking me." but the other day in front of me she said she "wishes guys would just tell her they like her instead of wasting time."
I guess my main worry is misreading signals that I think she's giving off and hurting our friendship and getting myself hurt. I know it's hard for you all to give much of an opinion since you don't know us, but I figured I would at least see if anyone has some insight. So anyway, to sum it up, do you think I should just go for it and tell her I like her and hope for the best, or should I keep my feelings to myself for now and see how it plays out in the future? I feel like this is very high school, but I've never been in a true relationship so oh well.
Sorry for a bit of a long story, but I felt the need to give some background info. If anything isn't clear then please let me know. Also does ignoring girls or paying more attention to them work better?
Just from your story, I could tell there was a 80-90% chance you had no (to little) experience with women.
It's not how you do things. You make your interest known as soon as is practically possible, and move on when you get your no.
As for the woman, I'd say 90% chance she has no interest. I didn't even bother reading the signals. They don't matter. When women like a man, especially at that age, you will know. She'll make it very clear. Later on, when women get older, there's more grey area. But younger women rarely settle.
As for the friendship? 20 years from now when the girl in question is married with puppies, I guarantee you that you will see her rarely or never. If you've even managed to stay friends that long, even if she doesn't have kids, I guarantee you will not be any kind of a priority in her life. So, there's really nothing to salvage or save.
Last edited by JJS99; 07-12-2014 at 07:36 AM..
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