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Even if it does hurt her, it won't nearly as much as a man since women are allowed to be passive, don't have to be assertive
One of the big explanations given for the wage gap is that men are more likely to negotiate higher salaries and ask for raises. I don't think passive men are passed over for raises and promotions while passive women get preferential treatment.
One of the big explanations given for the wage gap is that men are more likely to negotiate higher salaries and ask for raises. I don't think passive men are passed over for raises and promotions while passive women get preferential treatment.
true but at least girls don't have to put their pride/self-esteem, ego on the line when it comes to getting a date or relationship
Why does this have to be about men only? Women can be just as awkward/anxious in social situations. And when they are, they're usually invisible and unwilling to change their behavior. So typically the man takes the brunt of the responsibility for initiating conversation and maintaining interest. That is a lot of pressure to be had by one party.
Why does this have to be about men only? Women can be just as awkward/anxious in social situations. And when they are, they're usually invisible and unwilling to change their behavior. So typically the man takes the brunt of the responsibility for initiating conversation and maintaining interest. That is a lot of pressure to be had by one party.
Of course. The OP is male and asked for feminist advice. That's why the thread is about men.
well still, girls don't have to initiate anything, they don't have to approach if they want to get a date or a relationship
Wanna make a bet?
Maybe drop dead gorgeous girls can just stand there like a bump on a log and attract men like bees to honey, but for most people (men and women), you have to put in effort. I think the problem is, a lot of men don't realize that a woman is approaching or flirting with them... they expect a woman to do thing they way they would, like a man. But a woman is not a man, she acts like a woman.
This is what you get when you have 40 years of crushing one gender while lifting the other. Add a generous dose of narcissism and HUGE dose of technology such that the genders no longer need each other to survive and what you get is the perfect recipe for dating/relationship failure for a large group of people.
I mean, what do we expect?
It's all a hot mess!
Getting into and maintaining a healthy relationship has never been so difficult.
Sure there are some lucky people doing it, but what was that divorce rate again?!?!
My advice to the socially awkward men is to look at dating like a casino. Dabble a bit for fun. Go in with the intentions of having a good time but realize that the odds are stacked against you.
See dating as just something to do rather than a means to an end.
Actually that advice could apply to everyone in this post-modern world.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usuario
Socially anxious and awkward men often become 40 year old virgins. Although a few of these people are dishonest "Nice Guys" who hope that being nice will help them get laid (which never works), others simply want to love and be loved, and want to improve their own personality and strategies to be able to get into a long term relationship without having to resort to becoming women-haters (misogynists).
These men may ask feminists for advice, but it seems like many feminists can only tell men what NOT to do, and not what TO DO. Or they may give good theoretical advice without any practical considerations, like "respect her", "ask for consent", "become a friend she can trust", "know your boundaries", etc., rather than actual methods. Some feminists even go so far as to proudly claim that they couldn't give a crap about these "losers", that this is outside the scope of feminism, and that these men might as well go off themselves. I feel like understandably, many of these men turn to the pickup artist industry, which is notorious for using highly misogynistic language that degrades women and treats them as game pieces to collect rather than actual people.
My question is, if you are a feminist, what advice and resources would you give to socially anxious/awkward men who want to enter into a heterosexual relationship? What would you do if you were in a socially anxious man's place, and don't want to die alone, yet don't want to join in the misogyny party?
Wow, this is so very "over my head", lol. xD
1. Feminism has become perceived by some early bra-burning feminists to be a rip-off to women in the masses. If feminism was effective to any clear goal at all, it would be a woman's autonomy when it comes to her body, and reproductive rights, and possibly if she were a wealthy woman, moving in elite social circles, it might help distract her boredom once the children leave the nest. But, that's all. *shrugs, like so what?*
2. If you want good simple basic advice on meaningful subject matter, I would advise asking someone older than you. Mom and Dad, Grandma and Granddad, people who you can probably trust not to try to steer you wrong; or, give answers that arent jaded by the character of the stranger providing you an opinion.
Just my 2 cents.
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