Testing the waters on POF (boyfriend, men, children, sex)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,842,621 times
Reputation: 40634
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
I have decided to save sex until marriage, so open for anything, is not being honest. Would you agree?
Yes, but it is unusual to find divorced women with kids that aren't open to having sex until they're married again. That will be a hurdle. Generally the "waiting for marriage" only applies to the first marriage and loss of virginity in most peoples minds.
It took me a while to get my profile and pics just right, do you have anyone who can look your profile and pics over and tell you objectively if they are appealing, realistically reflect what you are looking for and have to bring to the table yourself?
Make sure there's nothing negative in there, as that can be something that people do without realizing how it comes off, especially those fresh out of a marriage are prone to let any lingering anger or bitterness "show" in the profile.
Also, are you divorced yet? I would not write or respond to someone separated, especially newly so, so maybe that's why you aren't having much luck, too.
Yes, but it is unusual to find divorced women with kids that aren't open to having sex until they're married again. That will be a hurdle. Generally the "waiting for marriage" only applies to the first marriage and loss of virginity in most peoples minds.
Well in my mind, I was with my first ex for 8 years and have one child. I was with my second ex for 6 years and have one child. I am not interested in acquiring more children. I just want the relationship and not willing to sacrifice myself and not end up with a long term match.
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
3,256 posts, read 4,301,681 times
Reputation: 13451
I met the love of my life on POF and married her, and I don't really think one dating site is all that much better than the other. Learn to become a good judge of people, and you'll be able to quickly weed out people that you are not compatible with. There will be frustrations, but if you want a long term relationship you have to be patient. It took me three years to find my love, but in the meantime I was able to keep busy going out on dates due to POF. I'll be forever grateful to that site.
Never married the second. I guess he did me a favor. I hope the third works out. I am being much more selective on who I pursue. I refuse to take in the ones that show up on my door needing me.
Maybe Match.com will fit you more. It's a pay site, you can list how much money you want your partner to make, and you can list what ethnicity and race you are willing to date. Things you can't do on POF.
You can specify those things but still get messages/matches outside of those parameters in my experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert20170
There will be frustrations, but if you want a long term relationship you have to be patient. It took me three years to find my love, but in the meantime I was able to keep busy going out on dates due to POF.
This is what I've heard from friends of mine in regards to OLD-it can be successful, but you have to willing to be patient and wait it out. I had one tell me I had to give it at least a year before giving up. Most of the people I know who have profiles have been doing it off and on for years.
As for POF specifically, from what others here have said in the past, it seems to vary by location. In some areas, members of this site rave about it, whereas in other areas (like this one), it's a cesspool to be avoided at all costs and Ok Cupid is the best of the bunch.
I wonder would would happen if I took out the part that states I have two young kids
If you want to be with a man who will accept your kids, you'd be better off not to do this. Better to have few replies than to have a bunch of replies from those who will not be a good match.
Make sure your profile is not too generic too--it's the biggest thing I see and you need something to set you off from the crowd. Be specific--lots of people say they like to travel, but what does that mean to you? Do you go to a FL resort every year, or do you go someplace different every time and camp in a tent? If a man knows your tastes and he shares those he'll be more likely to write.
If you want to be with a man who will accept your kids, you'd be better off not to do this. Better to have few replies than to have a bunch of replies from those who will not be a good match.
Make sure your profile is not too generic too--it's the biggest thing I see and you need something to set you off from the crowd. Be specific--lots of people say they like to travel, but what does that mean to you? Do you go to a FL resort every year, or do you go someplace different every time and camp in a tent? If a man knows your tastes and he shares those he'll be more likely to write.
Sadly I learned quickly that responses rarely have anything to do with the profile and much more to do with the picture
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