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Old 07-16-2014, 06:00 AM
 
Location: SacTown
1,259 posts, read 1,247,496 times
Reputation: 1965

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYRhockeyfan View Post
I love your cynicism, haha.

No, he's not attractive, he's well, quite chubby. But at the same time.. A couple of her exes aren't attractive (totally straight man here), but she said she does value personality and could overlook physical attractiveness..



Which is why I'm concerned. The guy calls her beautiful, amazing, all the time and she doesn't set boundaries.
Your girlfriend is insecure and weak-minded to be manipulated by some chubby ugly at work. She also has no clue about respect in a relationship.

Ditch her and find a real woman.
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Old 07-16-2014, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,980,001 times
Reputation: 3373
Oh man, this is the worst. It will only get worse, not better. You should probably break it off now before your feelings get stronger. If she doesn't get how this behavior is unacceptable, she never will.
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Old 07-16-2014, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,957,391 times
Reputation: 14935
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYRhockeyfan View Post

No, he's not attractive, he's well, quite chubby. But at the same time.. A couple of her exes aren't attractive (totally straight man here), but she said she does value personality and could overlook physical attractiveness.
Is he short, too? If so you have nothing to worry about!
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Old 07-16-2014, 11:28 AM
 
Location: New York City
792 posts, read 632,339 times
Reputation: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
OP, unfortunately the situation you are in reminds me why committed men must continue to flirt with and possibly have as many close female friends as you possibly can.

I really hate cheating, but it's too hard to police the actions of other guys and women hate jealousy. So start giving your number to the attractive female co-workers and possibly start hanging around them. It's a vicious cycle and hopefully you can find a woman who respects your relationship enough to not engage in this type of behaviour.
That sounds really petty and childish to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
Hilarious reply! That's exactly what I was thinking...Is this your gf or your personal property?
Grow a pair and quit worrying about some other dude stealing your squirrel. If you trust her (which you clearly don't), why don't you believe her?

I gotta admire this guy's persistence though.
I do believe her. It's just irritating that she won't let the guy know he's way out of line.
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Old 07-16-2014, 12:59 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,424,721 times
Reputation: 9548
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYRhockeyfan View Post
I do believe her. It's just irritating that she won't let the guy know he's way out of line.
She knows what she is doing, she also knows nothing anyone can do will change her behavior. Nobody is that naive to their own actions or the world around them.
It's unfortunately something you have no control over. She either wants to respect the boundaries of the relationship she has created with another or she wants her own way.

You can't "la de da" through life if there are things you want to protect or keep close. It's allowing influence by omission.

If you do not allow yourself to think of your part in something, you can't be guilty of causing it....it's a assbackwards way of thinking that some do so they can never take personal responsibility or have any accountability.

It was all the magic juju of life that did it


It really comes down to YOU being ok with investing emotion and time with someone who doesn't want to see the other side of their actions. You can't change her or control her, you can only make her aware of how you feel as a result.

If you are both not on the same page as to what a "relationship" consists of....there really isn't much point in having one together. Perhaps you should have "this" talk and not focus on the example that has been given in this man so rigidly

Have you asked her how the roles reversed would make her feel?

Last edited by rego00123; 07-16-2014 at 01:08 PM.. Reason: Phone
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:05 PM
 
113 posts, read 111,255 times
Reputation: 115
Chick loves attention.

These types suck to date seriously.

Ignore the other non sense here. You are dating a disprespectful attention ho. Secure women do not need dudes orbiting her and validating her desirability. One man is enough.

I'd bounce, but you sound like the type of dude that will wonder when's the next time he will get laid. Aka you don't have a lot of options.
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:19 PM
 
Location: New York City
792 posts, read 632,339 times
Reputation: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by jparkz View Post
Chick loves attention.

These types suck to date seriously.

Ignore the other non sense here. You are dating a disprespectful attention ho. Secure women do not need dudes orbiting her and validating her desirability. One man is enough.

I'd bounce, but you sound like the type of dude that will wonder when's the next time he will get laid. Aka you don't have a lot of options.
Well, I stopped dating coworkers because of stuff I read on C-D.

Kidding. I like to think I have options.. I just don't use them. (This is slightly amusing to me because at my job, I trade options) I'm honestly happy with this girl, this issue is I think the only fight we've ever had, and I don't think it's big enough to make me leave as I'm still (mostly) happy.
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:24 PM
 
Location: LA, CA/ In This Time and Place
5,443 posts, read 4,662,057 times
Reputation: 5117
She shows you her conversations, stop being so jealous and rude and if she wanted to cheat, she would have hid it from you. Stop making a problem out of nothing, she wants to hang out with him, let her do so.

You are being immature.
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Old 07-16-2014, 03:05 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,761,268 times
Reputation: 3176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nema98 View Post
She shows you her conversations, stop being so jealous and rude and if she wanted to cheat, she would have hid it from you. Stop making a problem out of nothing, she wants to hang out with him, let her do so.

You are being immature.
Ok...

Then if she wants to hang out with another guy while in a relationship, she needs to be casually dating and not in a relationship. That way she can do whatever she wants to do.
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Old 07-16-2014, 03:12 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,424,721 times
Reputation: 9548
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nema98 View Post
She shows you her conversations, stop being so jealous and rude and if she wanted to cheat, she would have hid it from you. Stop making a problem out of nothing, she wants to hang out with him, let her do so.

You are being immature.
His problems isn't that she may be cheating on him. His problem is that he doesn't feel like she is able to act on her beliefs. She is making excuses as to why certain things are ok and not able to realize the implications they have in the larger scheme of things.

When you break all the subtext out of this, this is the bottom line.

The fact another man is commenting on her SO negatively and she seems to be ok with allowing it to happen and discussing her relationship with him in general says more than any wishy washy passing off explanation ever could.

People NEED to have their freedom and individualism, but the heart of this issue has nothing to do with control....it has to do with respect for one another and the "thing" you are trying to grow together.

Last edited by rego00123; 07-16-2014 at 03:23 PM..
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