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Old 07-15-2014, 09:07 PM
 
20 posts, read 69,148 times
Reputation: 18

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About 2 years ago a woman moved next door from me and my mother in our building and she is very attractive and nice. Always have had a huge crush and even my mother has joked when we bump into her saying "she seems a bit too happy to see you". I would love to pursue her but do not know how to go about it even though I am mature enough to not do anything stupid even though I do have a huge thing for older women.

Some further details:
I'm 20 and recently found out she is 45 and looks amazing and can pass for mid 30's. Before anyone says "don't wreck homes" she is single (which always was a curious matter to me). Never see a man that maybe she is even seeing, no children either, just her and her pet so I will not be disrespecting her marriage or anything like that. I go to college a state away but come back home a lot but haven't seen her in the past year that often but yesterday since I am moving back home for a good I bumped into her and had a good conversation and maybe it is wishful thinking but certain moments I feel maybe she is dropping hints. She sees me as very mature, working, interning, doing well in school and with such a soft voice told me how nice that was and always reaches in first for a hug and slight kiss on the cheek. One time I saw her in the lobby this was blatant where with a huge smile she looked down from my feet all the way to my face as if she did a full check out. Even yesterday I asked "how are you holding up with the heat, staying cool?" and she replied "Ah Im getting to the age of menopause and I just get so hot, and sweaty...." which obviously can in fact be true but still chocie of words and delivery seemed flirtatious.

Obviously she is a neighbor and I do not want to cause trouble but I think if I made any move with politeness and if rejected I did not make a fuss it would be ok and pretend it never happened. I'm sure you all are thinking as well that if it led to consensual sex I would not mind, which is a given but how. Is the right way to ask her to dinner? Or Drop my own hints and see if she takes them and then guides, or just be direct and tell ehr I'm attracted?
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,545,464 times
Reputation: 98359
It's simultaneously hilarious and awesome that you think her menopause comment was flirtatious.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:18 PM
 
20 posts, read 69,148 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It's simultaneously hilarious and awesome that you think her menopause comment was flirtatious.
Lol it wasn't THAT she said that makes it flirtatious but more how. Along the lines of with an exhale and soft spoken for the words she used.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:18 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,617,896 times
Reputation: 20027
be yourself, but be direct, go ask her out to lunch sometime. let her pick the time and place. older women are just like younger women, but with life experience, and are generally more in command of what they want. the worst she can do is say no.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:22 PM
 
Location: NYC
5,225 posts, read 3,560,706 times
Reputation: 15850
Just remember when things go bad for you two..... she's still your next door neighbor! There is an old rule about not soiling your nest or something to that effect.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:24 PM
 
6,720 posts, read 8,330,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm View Post
be yourself, but be direct, go ask her out to lunch sometime. let her pick the time and place. older women are just like younger women, but with life experience, and are generally more in command of what they want. the worst she can do is say no.
Ask her out. She will either say yes or no. I think it should be for coffee or something simple like that.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,226,696 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A1GTS View Post
"Ah Im getting to the age of menopause and I just get so hot, and sweaty...."
the light doesn't get greener than that!
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Denver and Boston
2,071 posts, read 2,195,334 times
Reputation: 3831
Asking her to diner or on a 'date' would be a dead end. It would only emphasize how little you have in common. The only thing you two have potentially in common is sex. She may want to have sex with you, but sure does not want to date you. Try to exploit the fact you are neighbors. Park your car near her's and try to fix something on it when you know she will see you, or put yourself in some other situation where she will see you alone. Try to look thirsty and hope that she picks up on the clue and asks you to her apartment, or offer to fix something in her apartment. Do this on a day when your mother is not around, as she will be much more likely to be receptive to you then, and try to work the fact that your mother is not home into the conversation. You can assume she knows you are horny and inexperienced ,because all 20 year old guys are horny and inexperienced, so if she does invite you into her apartment, she probably is looking for some attention, so stand close to her and compliment her, and maybe touch her on the arm or hair if it isn't too awkward. If you are lucky she will recipricate and things will progress rapidly. Don't be afraid of looking awkward, she expects you to look awkward, in fact she would probably be less interested if you were very slick. Damn, I wish I was this smart when I was 20.
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Old 07-15-2014, 10:01 PM
 
20 posts, read 69,148 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert5 View Post
Asking her to diner or on a 'date' would be a dead end. It would only emphasize how little you have in common. The only thing you two have potentially in common is sex. She may want to have sex with you, but sure does not want to date you. Try to exploit the fact you are neighbors. Park your car near her's and try to fix something on it when you know she will see you, or put yourself in some other situation where she will see you alone. Try to look thirsty and hope that she picks up on the clue and asks you to her apartment, or offer to fix something in her apartment. Do this on a day when your mother is not around, as she will be much more likely to be receptive to you then, and try to work the fact that your mother is not home into the conversation. You can assume she knows you are horny and inexperienced ,because all 20 year old guys are horny and inexperienced, so if she does invite you into her apartment, she probably is looking for some attention, so stand close to her and compliment her, and maybe touch her on the arm or hair if it isn't too awkward. If you are lucky she will recipricate and things will progress rapidly. Don't be afraid of looking awkward, she expects you to look awkward, in fact she would probably be less interested if you were very slick. Damn, I wish I was this smart when I was 20.
Thaf first part is actually a very good point...thanks. Truthfully I did not want to come off as a dog and say "OK so how do I bang the neighbor" but I thought I would have to take steps to progress to it overtime. I actually once tried to be slick around thanksgiving weekend and brought her a dessert to wish happy holidaays during the evening and she appreciated it and was happy but wasn't invited in. Thing is we live in a apartment building so its not like I could play the car thing but I think I will definitely see her more this year like yesterday when we were on our way to do laundry at the same time. I will try to drop the hints like "if you ever need help with anything let me know" hints but thank you kind sir for that first part was very spot on.

Thank you to everyone else as well. I don't think this will go that wrong even if she does not want me. I think even if she does reject i think shed still maybe even laugh and be flattered and think its so cute a guy so young is attracted to her. And I would not try over and over Id understand no is no the first time.
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Old 07-15-2014, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,835,198 times
Reputation: 18712
Young man. Most women don't want a boy. They want a man. In her eyes, you're still a boy. She might very well have a son your age. Best to forget her and look for someone closer to your own age.
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