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Many marriages can be bad. But it's more the people. If someone is selfish prior to a serious relationship, they will probably still be selfish after they get in it. And, as stated in another thread, some have a warped view of love, and think it's supposed to always be easy. So when it gets hard--those minor issues sometimes, they just as soon divorce or split than really work on things.
It's like dating. Some have a hard time, and always talk about being alone and single, but haven't tried to improve themselves and be someone that another person would want. They expect a woman or man to fall at their feet. Very rarely does that happen.
So it's mainly the people that want instant gratification, and are selfish who make relationships seems horrid.
Of course a relationship has cons, that's normal. But with the right person, it will work. Not over night sometimes, but you will be happy. As someone said "It's not always easy, but it is worth it"--if you have the right partner.
Relationships have downfall, but they have positives as well, provided you don't just settle for anything.
I don't know what I'm expecting. I'm 28, never been in a serious relationship, maybe I'm growing cynical and a bit bitter, or have given up, or am just jaded, but it seems to me, many relationships, whether casual or SO's, married/in a long term RS, don't really make life all that much better. I mean, there are obvious downsides, depending on the people, hassles.etc, and for many the main focus just seems to be sex anyway. It often seems these days it's more like two friends with benefits rather than anything that sentimental. Also, a lot of people in them seem selfish, and all too willing to end it over some minor misdemeanour, it seems kind of selfish in a way. No wonder over half of marriages end these days.
I think I'd rather be single than have a naggy girlfriend or wife (not to sound sexist), or a life which revolves around chores. I know life can't be one big party, but I don't know, I wonder if the humdrum existence would make the initial spark wear thin after awhile.
Chores??? You have to do them anyway...and when there are 2 of you (or in my case, 6 of us) you don't have to do nearly as much. Today I have to cook dinner and do about 2 loads of laundry. That's it. Everyone else is pitching in (bathrooms, dusting, vacuuming, feeding pets, emptying dishwasher, doing dishes..etc).
As for making life better? Well it does for us and our life is FAR from humdrum. I actually wouldn't mind a little monotony every now and again . The main focus of our relationship is not sex, it's being a partner to one another. It's nice to know someone always has my back, will step up to the plate when I need help, is there to have fun with me, to deal with the difficultly life throws at me..ect. and I do the same for him. Of course it's not all going to be flowers and unicorns. We had a fight the other night, but we laughed about it afterwards
You haven't found the right person yet. That person will compliment your life, not compete with it. They won't nag you, unless of course you act and live like a child (I assume you don't?).
It's not just you. I recall a study rating happiness which found for gals it went single, divorced, then married being the least happy. As well as another study stating what I see as a big portion of gal regretting getting married.
Most of the married gals I know existence appears to be working at the job then coming home to work while their concerns/complaints about this unequal labor division are dismissed as nagging. While most nights end with being coerced into having non pleasurable non orgasmic sex when she doesn't want to under the guise of him wanting intimacy.
I got married...I'll go further---been married FOUR count 'em FOUR times...current wife is the love of my life...saw no reason whatsoever to whine and b***h about women between marriages
I got off my a** and learned from my mistakes and got it right, and didn't come on a chat forum blubbering about marriage for men being stupid
I'm not here telling everyone to get married, based on MY marriage working, nor am I here to tell folk how to live their lives...not even close
I don't know what I'm expecting. I'm 28, never been in a serious relationship, maybe I'm growing cynical and a bit bitter, or have given up, or am just jaded, but it seems to me, many relationships, whether casual or SO's, married/in a long term RS, don't really make life all that much better. I mean, there are obvious downsides, depending on the people, hassles.etc, and for many the main focus just seems to be sex anyway. It often seems these days it's more like two friends with benefits rather than anything that sentimental. Also, a lot of people in them seem selfish, and all too willing to end it over some minor misdemeanour, it seems kind of selfish in a way. No wonder over half of marriages end these days.
I think I'd rather be single than have a naggy girlfriend or wife (not to sound sexist), or a life which revolves around chores. I know life can't be one big party, but I don't know, I wonder if the humdrum existence would make the initial spark wear thin after awhile.
I've spent the past twenty-one years building an entire life with my wife which includes children, houses, pets and more memories than I could ever have imagined existed beforehand.
Yes, I have chores. Yes, sometimes my wife can nag and even be downright nasty to me. And yes, sometimes the various routines become a bit staid and boring. But the moments of pure joy, excitement and satisfaction that are prevalent in my life are so worth all of it.
If you only focus on the downside of any situation in life you can easily justify avoiding it. But you wouldn't be living, just existing.
Do you not do laundry or the dishes because you're single?
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. The main focus of our relationship is not sex, it's being a partner to one another. It's nice to know someone always has my back, will step up to the plate when I need help, is there to have fun with me, to deal with the difficultly life throws at me..ect. and I do the same for him. Of course it's not all going to be flowers and unicorns. We had a fight the other night, but we laughed about it afterwards 
Wow...I Must have Misread My Amtrak Ticket
