Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist
(snip). But you break up with the parent of the child, your relationship with that child is suddenly cut off - and you love the kid, and the kid loves you. And the kid cannot understand why you are gone, and you really cannot continue the relationship with the kid because the parent of the kid and you both want to move on. It's really very hard.
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The OP didn't say if he was the first boyfriend or the fifth boyfriend after his new GF broke up with the father of her child (perhaps he doesn't even know). But, I did want to point out that it can be quite upsetting and confusing for children to have new "pseudo-dads" or "temporary dads" in and out of their lives.
Sadly, as a teacher I have seen it happen too many times. Little Johnnie is raving about how "Uncle" Mike took him to the zoo, played ball with him, etc. etc. and talks about Mike all the time and then suddenly Little Johnnie is sad because "Uncle" Mike isn't around anymore. A month or two later, Little Johnnie is talking about how much he loves "Uncle" Simon and how Simon bought him a new toy and they went to the park together and then a few months later Little Johnnie is sad and confused because "Uncle" Simon isn't around any more. Then a few months later the cycle starts up again. Sometimes, I just wanted to shake those parents and say "Don't you understand how upsetting the constant changes are to your child ?!?"
This is one of the many reasons people are suggesting that you take your time.