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Old 07-21-2014, 07:10 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
Reputation: 4766

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I wasn't trying to criticize you and while you make some valid points, my gut thought after reading your post was it just sounded bleak and depressing......

I guess I'm trying to see things from a differing perspective as I have a tendency to view things from a darker perspective.

I figured that is where you were coming from. It's not from a lack of trying, that's for sure. I've messaged many of women who were what I was looking for, but since I'm black, I'm not what they are looking for. The women that tend to want to pursue me are the women who have dated black guys before, but need to be rescued. Kid(s) dad is not in the picture, they are in between jobs, they have a low paying job, or they are bigger than I am (and I'm a good sized guy at 245).

I've hit that age where I feel like I'm the cream of the crop for women that need to be rescued and that's disappointing for me. I have absolutely no interest for a woman who's 30, has multiple kids, and is working a dead end minimum wage job. That's what online and looking for a guy like me, because they've played all the games and now they want what they should have went after 10 years prior. Women who are similar to what I'm looking for possibly have better options than myself, so I tend to always be in the middle of the forest yelling "hello".
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Old 07-21-2014, 07:23 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,717,056 times
Reputation: 2916
Quote:
Originally Posted by 495neighbor View Post
Many of them also have a difficult time cutting the cord from the previous relationship.
Absolutely. By a certain age, most men have already been married, and marrying them might mean marrying their exes too, unfortunately. If there are children, count on their exes being around forever.
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Old 07-21-2014, 08:27 PM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,131,277 times
Reputation: 4840
I've always found dating hard because I am/was shy. It's gotten easier in the sense that I am more aware of someone flirting or able to believe they find me attractive now, and because I am more comfortable with myself that seems to make me more attractive also.

The sad/funny part is how much YOUNG guys, like age 16-20, really like me, when at that age my male peers showed no interest in dating me. I'm also rather appealing to men as old as 50. So at 30, I notice the range of men attracted to me is higher than ever, however, I am very aware that attraction and interest in something serious/long-term are two different things.

The age appropriate men seem the least interested in me, and it's likely because they don't want something serious & rightly assume that I do. It seems that has always been the case though; my peers are the least interested in me & it's because physical attraction is not the same as wanting to date you.
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Old 07-21-2014, 08:31 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,717,056 times
Reputation: 2916
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple View Post
I've always found dating hard because I am/was shy. It's gotten easier in the sense that I am more aware of someone flirting or able to believe they find me attractive now, and because I am more comfortable with myself that seems to make me more attractive also.

The sad/funny part is how much YOUNG guys, like age 16-20, really like me, when at that age my male peers showed no interest in dating me. I'm also rather appealing to men as old as 50. So at 30, I notice the range of men attracted to me is higher than ever, however, I am very aware that attraction and interest in something serious/long-term are two different things.

The age appropriate men seem the least interested in me, and it's likely because they don't want something serious & rightly assume that I do. It seems that has always been the case though; my peers are the least interested in me & it's because physical attraction is not the same as wanting to date you.
Older men are always more interested than men our age, because older men are always interested in women younger than they are. It's the old standby, the man older than your age. Heck, even men in their 80s are attracted to women in their teens and 20s.
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