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In my apartment complex, there are a lot of single women over 40 who are divorced. I'll run into a lot of them at community events and often the subject of conversation will turn to dating. One thing I hear pretty consistently is how 40 becomes this cutoff, the age where women suddenly become invisible to men. I personally don't believe that, but a lot of these women did. I've also met men who said the same thing about 50, that once they turned 50, women stopped paying attention to them. I haven't reached 40 yet. And while dating in my 30s is very different than it was in my 20s, I don't remember it being a sudden change.
What's your experience been? Did you reach an age where you suddenly felt like dating changed? And it doesn't have to be in a bad way. Maybe you hit some age where suddenly you had lots of dating options that you didn't have before. I'm just curious to hear what people have gone through as they hit certain milestone birthdays and what kinds of changes they noticed.
29 is when it really changed for me. My mindset and what I overall wanted changed. I've dated about the same since the mindset change; however, what I've went out with I would have tolerated a lot longer when I was younger than the age I am now.
I was widowed at 34. When I started to entertain the idea of dating again, I was told by several male friends my biggest downfall would be that I was over 35. In this area, that seems to be the unspoken "cut-off" age. I find dating as difficult at 40 as it was in my 20's. It's the one aspect of my life that's never come easily for me. *shrugs*
Interestingly, I feel more attractive now than I did at any other stage in my life.
But the whole idea of dating kind gives me a bad feeling. Based on what my mom, my older brother, and some other people I know went through, it seems depressing. :P
I feel like there are a lot more head games involved than there were seven years ago, before I got into my last LTR. Also, I've been trying to date men in their 30s with the thought that they are more established and should be more in tune with their emotions, and instead I keep encountering men who have baggage that they just can't let go of. I know everyone has baggage at a certain age, but if you can't process your emotions in a mature way then you just aren't for me.
What are those women doing, that they're not getting attention? Do they work out at the gym and stay in shape? Have they become bitter after their divorces? Do they approach men? Do they get out and circulate, socialize, join groups and activities where they can meet single men? If they're not attracting attention, they're doing something wrong. 40 is way too young to become invisible to men.
I think after 30 was a little different. Or maybe it was 33 to be a bit more accurate. It seems like that is the magic age that the 20-somethings that were flirting with me started to disappear when I said I was 33. And that is also the age that more 40-somethings started to talk to me.
Maybe I finally lost my super youthful look and started looking more "adult-y." But that's the difference for me. I am mid-30s now.
What are those women doing, that they're not getting attention? Do they work out at the gym and stay in shape? Have they become bitter after their divorces? Do they approach men? Do they get out and circulate, socialize, join groups and activities where they can meet single men? If they're not attracting attention, they're doing something wrong. 40 is way too young to become invisible to men.
I think it is a little different. For men who are roughly 35-45, they still think it is perfectly acceptable to date women in their late 20s and not women closer to their own age. They still feel young enough to have more kids (or first kids) without being the "old dad." They feel like they are hitting their stride and any possibility is open to them. And when the kids are really important to them, they feel like it is easier to find someone under 30. But once they get a little older. Or have firmly decided they have enough kids/don't want any/whatever, then age matters less, and they can look at ladies their own age.
Women in their late 30s to mid 40s are in that weirdo grey land.....where men our age still have more time to decide what sort of family situation they want, where the women have firmly decided one way to another, and only want partners that match those preferences. (I.e. if you want kids you want to settle quickly, and get on it! And if you don't you want to make absolutely sure he doesn't either.)
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