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For guys -- I guess not sticking your penis in a girl's vagina by a certain age is a major sin. Forget about all the other positive qualities you may possess, if you've never penetrated a female during your teenage or early adulthood, all is lost; you might as well go find a tall bridge and do a Peter Pan.
Because, obviously, sexual experience ( or lack thereof), should be the most important criteria with which to judge a potential male suitor.
I really don't understand at ALL, why something has to be wrong with someone simply because they have not had sex by a certain age.
What is wrong with a 25 year old being a virgin? He's still young. He will meet someone eventually. Everyone's timetable is different. Sheesh!
Good looking, good morals, even-tempered and loyal? Those are the kind of guys I was always attracted to. I would have wanted to get to know and date a guy like that when I was in my 20s. I never liked guys who slept around.
You sound way too rational, non-judgmental, and kind to be on this forum. But I agree with you. It's absurd to trash a guy for being a virgin; there could be many reasons for that. But this belief among many people that simply being a virgin is in itself some taboo, shameful, negative state is asinine. The people who believe that seem stuck in a very immature, cliquish, high-school-ish frame of mind.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyJ34
You sound way too rational, non-judgmental, and kind to be on this forum. But I agree with you. It's absurd to trash a guy for being a virgin; there could be many reasons for that. But this belief among many people that simply being a virgin is in itself some taboo, shameful, negative state is asinine. The people who believe that seem stuck in a very immature, cliquish, high-school-ish frame of mind.
There isn't anything "wrong" with it, but it can be a red flag. The reality is most people have sex younger than that. I was late, 18, as a guy. Probably the last of any guy I knew. My lady friend was 15, which is more the norm for women I've known.
The reality is it is HARD to avoid sex until you're 25. I was completely socially inept. Had acne. Not in good shape. Had hobbies that were totally dorky male dominated. Still, it happened by 18. You have to actively avoid sex to make it to 25, and that is the flag. Why were you actively avoiding sex until that age? It is hard to think of a good reason.
There isn't anything "wrong" with it, but it can be a red flag. The reality is most people have sex younger than that. I was late, 18, as a guy. Probably the last of any guy I knew. My lady friend was 15, which is more the norm for women I've known.
The reality is it is HARD to avoid sex until you're 25. I was completely socially inept. Had acne. Not in good shape. Had hobbies that were totally dorky male dominated. Still, it happened by 18. You have to actively avoid sex to make it to 25, and that is the flag. Why were you actively avoiding sex until that age? It is hard to think of a good reason.
How is that a red flag? It just sounds dumb to me.
It's not "weird" that he's never had a girlfriend, it's just not the norm. But, most girls, especially shy girls, would be way more interested in him than the opposite. He just has to have the confidence that it's not "weird" and own it. He sounds like a good catch. His best bet is women who he may already know, or meet through a hobby, friends, etc., just to talk and get to know them and ease into possibly something more.
I'm a girl, and also, if I were him, I wouldn't even mention this really early on. Once he likes someone, maybe has a couple of dates and it's going well, then that's the time to tell. His business is his business until he feels comfortable enough to share. I might wouldn't even tell someone I was a virgin for a long time if at all. It's no one else's business really.
There isn't anything "wrong" with it, but it can be a red flag. The reality is most people have sex younger than that. I was late, 18, as a guy. Probably the last of any guy I knew. My lady friend was 15, which is more the norm for women I've known.
The reality is it is HARD to avoid sex until you're 25. I was completely socially inept. Had acne. Not in good shape. Had hobbies that were totally dorky male dominated. Still, it happened by 18. You have to actively avoid sex to make it to 25, and that is the flag. Why were you actively avoiding sex until that age? It is hard to think of a good reason.
That's your reality. From what I saw when I was a younger teen...people who had sex around that age or younger were pressured to do it.
All people talked about in high school was sex, sex, and more sex. They would make you feel like a total freak if you weren't sleeping with anyone. I suppose it's different for most guys because according to them their sex drive is higher(their words not mine.)
I'm 21, and I am not avoiding it. For me to experience any type of sexual feelings for anyone, I have to already be emotionally invested into them. I imagine my experience would be horrible if I just decided to sleep with anyone. I had PLENTY of opportunities to do it, but I chose not to because it was unwise. I didn't like any of those guys at all. It takes a while for my feelings to develop, my heart moves extremely slowly.
There is nothing wrong with wanting sex, but assuming something else is going on because someone else is an older virgin is wrong and a little ignorant to be honest. I suppose once you become set in your ways it's hard to see other realities other than your own.
There isn't anything "wrong" with it, but it can be a red flag. The reality is most people have sex younger than that. I was late, 18, as a guy. Probably the last of any guy I knew. My lady friend was 15, which is more the norm for women I've known.
The reality is it is HARD to avoid sex until you're 25. I was completely socially inept. Had acne. Not in good shape. Had hobbies that were totally dorky male dominated. Still, it happened by 18. You have to actively avoid sex to make it to 25, and that is the flag. Why were you actively avoiding sex until that age? It is hard to think of a good reason.
Many things can be red flags, not just sexual things.
And you generalize by saying you have to actively avoid having sex in order to be a virgin by a certain age. As if sexual partners and opportunities literally bang on your door and chase you into your bedroom seeking sex.
And not every young person is highly sexual or highly motivated to have sex or seek sexual partners, as hard as that is to believe.
Did you have sex because you really wanted to or because you felt social pressure to do so? Not everyone is led by peer pressure or social pressure, and many just do their own things and don't try to be cool or fit in.
Many different types of people in the world.
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