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You know when people love to post "inspirational sayings" on FB? I came across this gem recently:
"A man’s rite of passage is loving a woman with all of his heart.
Until a man can love a woman the way she deserves to be
loved, he’s still a boy. "
I have no problem with a man loving a woman with all of his heart but considering it a "rite of passage"
that defines whether he transitions from a boy to a man if he doesn't love a woman the way she "deserves"
to be loved? Ugh.
Can you imagine switching the genders and how offensive this would immediately sound to women?
"A woman’s rite of passage is loving a man with all of her heart.
Until a woman can love a man the way he deserves to be
loved, she’s still a girl. "
Sounds like something from the 1950's on how to be a good housewife, doesn't it?
Yet, in 2014, we have no trouble at all defining the passage into manhood by how well a given man loves a woman as much as she "deserves" to be loved.
While I am at it, I am a little sick and tired of this notion in our society that manhood is something that must be earned by doing X.
"If you don't do X you are not a real man and are still a boy."
In my mind, you become a man when you reach the age of majority. Whether or not you are a good man or a bad man is another issue but since when is manhood itself up to society and usually women to define it's threshold?
The sentiment above just REEKS of entitlement and shaming language. You don't "deserve" to be loved just by virtue of being born a specific gender. Love is a two way street.
Sexism is also a two way street. It's sexist to think women deserve special treatment or should be placed on a pedestal just because they are female.
Now, I love my wife with all of my heart and do little and big things all the time to show her this, as she does for me but that's because we are compatible, we love each other and have put effort into the relationship. It also had a large degree of luck involved as I know plenty of good people, male and female who have not had the fortune of meeting their true loves yet.
Okay, sounds good. Can I suggest de-friending people who irritate you in their outspoken, radically different values? Or remove them from your news feed.
If you're rummaging through posts from friends of friends of friends just because you can, that's just looking for something to irritate you.
"A woman’s rite of passage is loving a man with all of her heart. Until a woman can love a man the way he deserves to be loved, she’s still a girl. "
Actually, I agree with that sentiment.
I also agree with the one about men.
There are enough girls and boys on this forum that the distinction between them and women and men in terms of relationships is very clear.
Actually I object less to the overall message and more to the gender specific language. What about LGBT men/women? Are they excluded from ever truly becoming men/ women because of their sexual preference?
Yes, I realize I am arguing semantics.
OP, most of the stuff on Facebook is absolute crap. Take, for example, the oft-repeated Marilyn Monroe quote about "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." It's basically saying that someone should be allowed to act horribly and still be accepted for it. Also, Marilyn Monroe is not exactly a great role model for women.
These things are usually posted by people who are incapable of thinking too critically about what they actually mean. I wouldn't read into it too much.
You know when people love to post "inspirational sayings" on FB? I came across this gem recently:
"A man’s rite of passage is loving a woman with all of his heart.
Until a man can love a woman the way she deserves to be
loved, he’s still a boy. "
I have no problem with a man loving a woman with all of his heart but considering it a "rite of passage"
that defines whether he transitions from a boy to a man if he doesn't love a woman the way she "deserves"
to be loved? Ugh.
Can you imagine switching the genders and how offensive this would immediately sound to women?
"A woman’s rite of passage is loving a man with all of her heart.
Until a woman can love a man the way he deserves to be
loved, she’s still a girl. "
Sounds like something from the 1950's on how to be a good housewife, doesn't it?
Yet, in 2014, we have no trouble at all defining the passage into manhood by how well a given man loves a woman as much as she "deserves" to be loved.
While I am at it, I am a little sick and tired of this notion in our society that manhood is something that must be earned by doing X.
"If you don't do X you are not a real man and are still a boy."
In my mind, you become a man when you reach the age of majority. Whether or not you are a good man or a bad man is another issue but since when is manhood itself up to society and usually women to define it's threshold?
The sentiment above just REEKS of entitlement and shaming language. You don't "deserve" to be loved just by virtue of being born a specific gender. Love is a two way street.
Sexism is also a two way street. It's sexist to think women deserve special treatment or should be placed on a pedestal just because they are female.
Now, I love my wife with all of my heart and do little and big things all the time to show her this, as she does for me but that's because we are compatible, we love each other and have put effort into the relationship. It also had a large degree of luck involved as I know plenty of good people, male and female who have not had the fortune of meeting their true loves yet.
Not to mention it also alienates the Gay men.
But, you might be reading a little too much into it. Yeah, some sayings actually are offensive, but it seems like most of the time, people are looking for an excuse to be offended.
But, you might be reading a little too much into it. Yeah, some sayings actually are offensive, but it seems like most of the time, people are looking for an excuse to be offended.
Jinx! We just wrote almost the same thing. You owe me a Coke
But, you might be reading a little too much into it. Yeah, some sayings actually are offensive, but it seems like most of the time, people are looking for an excuse to be offended.
"A man’s rite of passage is loving a woman with all of his heart.
Until a man can love a woman the way she deserves to be
loved, he’s still a boy. "
Quote:
Now, I love my wife with all of my heart and do little and big things all the
time to show her this, as she does for me ...............................
but that's because we are compatible,
we love each other and have put effort into the relationship. It also had a
large degree of luck involved as I know plenty of good people, male and female
who have not had the fortune of meeting their true loves yet.
Guess that makes you a man.
I'd say this passage could go for man or woman. Your reading too much into it.
Would you rather people post how just the physical acting of banging any woman is a man's right of passage? That would probably be more 1950s.
So... you saw this on facebook, then stumbled to city data forum relationships, registered a new screen name, to complain about the facebook post because you feel it is sexist?
While I am at it, I am a little sick and tired of this notion in our society that manhood is something that must be earned by doing X.
"If you don't do X you are not a real man and are still a boy."
Part of maturing is being able to take statements of ignorance in stride. Does it bother me to hear these things? Sure, but I also know that someone that closed-minded isn't going to learn anything from talking to me about it anyway. You see comments about "real men" all over these forums, including from women. If anyone one individual believes that they have the secret insight that dictates any level of maturity, honor, manliness, or any other cultural phenomenon about an entire gender, just let them continue to play in their sandbox.
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