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Old 07-24-2014, 09:50 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
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A looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
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Old 07-24-2014, 09:53 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Ummmm....

Well, sometimes a stubbed toe turns out to be fractured --especially if you have bone cancer or something as a pre-existing condition, and you don't know it's there until the fracture.

::cue late night jokes about bones and relationships and cancer::
Ha ouch.
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Old 07-24-2014, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Atlantis
3,016 posts, read 3,901,018 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Ummmm....

Well, sometimes a stubbed toe turns out to be fractured --especially if you have bone cancer or something as a pre-existing condition, and you don't know it's there until the fracture.

Ha, ha! LOL. . . .


Totally. It's like only people with pre-existing damage feel pain when their heart breaks.


Everyone else doesn't feel the depth and magnitude of loss and pain.
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Old 07-24-2014, 10:01 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,039,892 times
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All depends on the person and the relationship.

Some you might get over pretty quickly, some you may never get over. It's very individual and depends on so many factors. Hard to make a blanket statement about it.
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Old 07-24-2014, 10:02 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
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Love can give you the best feeling you've ever had and the worst feeling you've ever had.
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Old 07-25-2014, 05:38 AM
 
3,051 posts, read 3,272,697 times
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The simple algorithm is that it will take you half as long in months to get over a relationship as you have been together in years.

I'm kidding, although I actually have heard this before.

There's no formula or rhyme or reason to it. Some people never recover fully from certain relationships. Some people get over break ups quickly.


It truly is something you have to experience for yourself in order to understand how it will feel, which is why it CRACKS me UP that certain posters who have never even been on a date before are commenting on this thread!!!
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Old 07-25-2014, 05:43 AM
 
Location: Middle America
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Depends on the people involved, the length of the relationship, how involved the relationship was, whether the person was the dumpee or dumper, etc. No way to say.
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Old 07-25-2014, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,921 posts, read 1,735,786 times
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The worst "break-up" I've had:

1st month post break-up:

I was in denial, thought he would come back. Hence, I didn't care much. I became numb. I didn't cry at all. I was just numb. Tried to cry but it just didn't work. I wasn't feeling anything. I went on dates and went out like nothing happened. I just really give a damn.

2nd month post break-up:

It finally sunk in that he and I were over. I cried a lot. I was depressed the entire month. I hated him, a lot. All I wanted was to slap him in the face. My heart was filled with anger, hatred and sadness. I also hated myself for allowing him to treat me like that.

3rd month post break-up:

I started missing him. I really wanted him back. I started liking him again and forgot all about his behavior. I was seeing things through my rose tinted glasses.

4th post break-up:

I finally started getting over him. Sure, part of me still wanted him back but I finally saw things clearly and realized everything happens for a reason. I saw the good and the bad objectively. Sometimes, I'd start crying but not because I wanted him back. Simply because I wanted a happy ending and it didn't happen.

5th month post break-up:

Finally over him. I became completely neutral towards him. I removed the pictures, texts and other reminders. I barely checked his social media accounts. I tried dating but I realized I wanted to be single for a while to work on myself first. I saw the shades of grey, it wasn't all bad but it wasn't all good. We just were incompatible at that moment of time. I no longer hated him. The sexual attraction disappeared and all that was left was this neutral feeling of "I know this guy". He became a stranger to me. Seeing him no longer triggered any sort of emotions in me. I barely thought of him. I couldn't relate to him even if I tried.

We didn't speak during these months so it obviously helped a lot.

Yep, it took 5 months!

I still miss his pretty face though

Last edited by LostinPhilly; 07-25-2014 at 06:10 AM..
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Old 07-25-2014, 06:12 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,981,090 times
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I lost 30 lbs after my breakup from being depressed. Then I snapped out of it and used it as an opportunity to get healthier and more fit. Even though I was still kinda sad at times, I put a ton of notches on my belt the first few months afterwards and met a ton of cool new people. It's been better for me in the longrun.
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Old 07-25-2014, 06:37 AM
 
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I am the over sentimental type, so it takes me TOO long. But what's interesting is that the relationships that have been hardest to recover from are the ones that were non-starters, so to speak. Well, because for me, they were guys that I was great friends with and already had a deep emotional connection to, and then it started up but never really took off. And it made the friendship weird. So I guess I suffer the loss of a close friendship. One guy it literally took YEARS to get over. I was married and still occasionally pining over him. Like, I'd see movies about great loves or read books about great loves and think about him. (which is so ridiculous, bcs although we were great friends, we only kissed once or twice).We did end up staying friends after initial weirdness and what felt like a huge breakup bcs he wouldn't talk to me, which didn't really help. My husband and he got along really well, my kids loved him. We finally fell out of touch - just in the last year or two. You know what it took? I tried to set him up with one of my best friends, and she didn't swoon. Boom, door closed. Thank GOD.

Now when I think about him, I have no emotional or sentimental reaction to it. But like I said, it took years. I think part of it is that (and this is sooooooo stupid) I feel like those types of attachments are pretty rare, so it makes me over romanticize them and hold onto them bcs I liked how he used to make me feel. I can't even explain it properly bcs it really makes no sense. Like, letting it go is more painful than holding onto the affection.

Anybody have the name of a good therapist?

The relationships that run their course and end mutually seem to be the easiest to recover from. Sure, you need to recover from being used to having that person around, but it's not the same emotional trauma as an outcome you don't want or one that you didn't see coming.
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