Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yeah, I do have a chip on my shoulder. I'm about $100 poorer (after one week mind you) and no closer to finding a mate. This shouldn't be all on me. And I don't show this frustration on dates, I assure you, because I don't talk to them about it. I simply put on my best face and make the most of it. So what I said about Girl 4 on this forum was just me venting. It means nothing else in the grand scheme of things.
Yes, you're $100 poorer. What do you want a want? A refund? And what you said about Girl 4 isn't just venting. It's quite revealing actually. Instead of just accepting that she wasn't interested in you, you had to get upset about how she wasted YOUR time. What about HER time?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
I've not learned a single damn thing and will likely end up doing the same thing on the next date, because that is who I am.
Really? You haven't learned anything? Cause if I had those 5 dates, here's what I would've learned. One, don't get your hopes up about someone who lives in another city. Two, don't expect that you'll hit it off with everyone you meet. Three, just because you think you had a good date with someone doesn't mean they'll feel the same way. Four, you can be nice, attentive, and show interest in someone, but they still may not be attracted to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Are you serious right now? Now I can't ask if they had a good time?!?! You're not making sense to me.
It's you who's not making sense because you're actually expecting these women to give you an honest answer. You took a woman out for drinks or dinner and paid for it. Do you think she's going to say she had a lousy time? Of course not. She's going to be polite. If someone took me on a date and I was absolutely bored out of my mind, I would still be polite and say I had a nice time and thank them for spending it with me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
I truly think they are wasting my time. I don't think a lot of them are serious about dating. I think they like the idea of dating, but they don't like the commitment to it or the need to change their existing lifestyle in order to fit it in.
You keep talking about YOUR time. What about theirs? Do you think they enjoy spending their valuable free time meeting with you only to have it go nowhere? I'm willing to bet they come away just as disappointed and frustrated as you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Most job interviews cost me a nominal amount of time and money. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, if anything, because there ARE NO signs. They seem to have a good time the night of, and that's it. I gave you a full breakdown of how each date went. From that, why don't you tell me what went wrong?
Most job interviews cost you time. You have to take time away from your current job, drive down to where the job is, fill out forms, meet with various people you might be working with, and then maybe take a test. I'm not sure what industry you're in, but I've never had an interview that didn't eat up at least 3 hours of my day.
Women will smile even if they're not having a good time. Because they want to be polite. And even if they had a good time, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll want to see you again. You act like that's all it takes. But it doesn't. I've been on dates where I had an enjoyable evening talking and getting to know the person. But I didn't always want to see them again. Why? Because I learned something about them during the date that made me realize we wouldn't be a good match. Or maybe I just didn't feel any attraction to them. You keep asking me to tell you what you did wrong. And what I keep telling you is that you can do everything right and the person may still not be attracted to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Well then these women are extremely shallow. You don't spend an hour getting to know somebody for who they truly are. So yes, being nice, polite, showing an interest in who they are, and being enthusiastic SHOULD BE good enough. As long as I'm not being a mopey, shallow a**hole, which I don't believe I'm being, then there should be no reason why we don't at least try to spend more time and learn more about each other. Unless you have specific tips on what else makes a magical first date (with a girl you know very little about), your insights are useless to me. No offense. Every date I've arranged was relevant to something specific in our conversations or in their profile. A girl who talked about her enjoyment of beer? We went to a nice micro-brewery that she said herself that she liked. A girl who was a vegan? We went to a nice vegan restaurant, which she later indicated was her favorite. A girl who mentioned that she liked ice-cream dates in her profile? We went to a nice gourmet ice cream place that she indicated that she liked. What else is there, man? I'm all ears.
Seriously, do you not understand the concept of attraction. It doesn't matter if you're nice, polite, show interest, etc. If they're not attracted to you, why would they want to meet you again? That doesn't make them shallow. It just means they value their time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Let me tell you what I think is going on. This has nothing to do with me. This has everything to do with them. They're either not serious about dating (too complacent with their current lives), they're bored at a given time and want some attention, or they're simply in it for a free meal.
No, I'll tell you what I think is really going on. You're frustrated at going on these dates and having it lead nowhere. So instead of just accepting that these women weren't attracted to you, you now have to find fault with them. Rejection is part of dating. Stop taking it personally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
I'm sorry man. I just don't agree with anything you're saying here. With all due respect to you (I'm sure you're a great dude), you seem extremely aloof with regards to online dating and the gross misrepresentation that occurs on sites like OKC and Tinder and whatever else is out there. On top of it, you don't know anything about me. You have no idea what kind of person I am and yet I feel like you're placing the burden entirely on me, as if I'm the source of my own issues with this. I don't believe that I am, because I know who I am and what kind of person I am. I'm a good-hearted person, I'm intelligent, I'm ambitious, I'm compassionate and caring. I have great relationships with all the people I know. This is not a 'me' issue. This is a 'them' issue. Let's just make that clear.
You're the one who's aloof. This has nothing to do with online dating or misrepresenting oneself. It has to do with the reality of dating. You could meet someone you have lots in common with, have a pleasant evening talking and getting to know one another, but that's still no guarantee that the other person will want to see you again. That's great that you're a good-hearted, intelligent, compassionate and caring person. But you act like this is all it takes to make women interested in you. And I'm telling you it isn't. The fact that you're trying to find fault with these women instead of just accepting that you weren't what they wanted tells me you have an unhealthy view of dating. Do you react this way when you apply for a job and the company rejects you?
OP... So trying to act in a manner that fits her expectations, ( did I get that right)? Hasn't worked. So why not just act .. In a manner that you truly believe that you are? Wouldn't you be more comfortable "not" trying to be that other person? Wouldn't you rather have someone like you for your true self rather than that other guy?
Seems a little dishonest TBPO. Not that you're trying to scam her or anything.. You sound sincere. It obviously rubs you the wrong way.
You should be talking to at least 3-5 women a day. Always have a backup. Men with options are always more attractive than ones with none.
The first date should be something cheap. Coffee....smoothie....walk in park. Keep it simple. Find a place where you can have a decent conversation. You don't have to spend $60 or $70 on a 1st date.
Why buy dinner for a woman that has not earned it or for a woman that you will never see again.
I am of the opinion that the cost of dinner on a first date should be split equally between both, but the way you put it sounds more like a business deal than a date. Why not just offer her the cash up front for whatever it is she's supposed to have "earned"? If she accepts it.. You're in, if not you're not out anything.
Last edited by Sydney123; 07-26-2014 at 05:00 PM..
Yes, you're $100 poorer. What do you want a want? A refund? And what you said about Girl 4 isn't just venting. It's quite revealing actually. Instead of just accepting that she wasn't interested in you, you had to get upset about how she wasted YOUR time. What about HER time?
I don't want a refund. I'm just requesting that they don't waste my time. I have a profile set up for a reason. You have several pictures of me to see what I look like. You have 600 answers to various relationship-related topics that show what kind of person I am. You have an elaborate profile about who I am and what I'm looking for. You have our extensive PM conversation history. So yes, you should have at least made up your mind at that point whether you were interested in someone like me, or at the very least, were willing to give it more than one date that you clearly had no intention of paying for.
Seriously, have you ever used an online dating service? Because you sound like you have not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Really? You haven't learned anything? Cause if I had those 5 dates, here's what I would've learned. One, don't get your hopes up about someone who lives in another city. Two, don't expect that you'll hit it off with everyone you meet. Three, just because you think you had a good date with someone doesn't mean they'll feel the same way. Four, you can be nice, attentive, and show interest in someone, but they still may not be attracted to you.
Great, you've pointed out things that have nothing to do with improving the actual dating experience, as was your previous suggestion. If their decisions were based entirely on looks, then that's pretty shallow on their part. Because four out of the five of them were overweight and not particularly attractive in a traditional sense and I was still willing to look past it if our interests were in line.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
It's you who's not making sense because you're actually expecting these women to give you an honest answer. You took a woman out for drinks or dinner and paid for it. Do you think she's going to say she had a lousy time? Of course not. She's going to be polite. If someone took me on a date and I was absolutely bored out of my mind, I would still be polite and say I had a nice time and thank them for spending it with me.
That's the least they could do. Seriously! The fifth one had no problem with telling me that it wasn't going to proceed romantically. And I actually appreciated her directness.
But yeah, disappearing on me or ignoring my calls/texts is equally as appealing, considering that I just dropped $10-$20 on you. But seriously, who needs or wants courtesy in today's day and age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
You keep talking about YOUR time. What about theirs? Do you think they enjoy spending their valuable free time meeting with you only to have it go nowhere? I'm willing to bet they come away just as disappointed and frustrated as you.
Yeah, it must be so difficult for them to walk or drive to a location in their neighborhood and spend a couple leisurely hours hanging out while I'm driving across town for their convenience and spending my hard earned money. Tell me again how much sympathy I need to have for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Most job interviews cost you time. You have to take time away from your current job, drive down to where the job is, fill out forms, meet with various people you might be working with, and then maybe take a test. I'm not sure what industry you're in, but I've never had an interview that didn't eat up at least 3 hours of my day.
Sorry, but interviews don't cost me that much. If I went on 12 dates per month (3 per week) costing approx. $10-$20/ea, I'm spending anywhere between $120-$240 per month. If I go to a job interview, assuming it's in town, I spend a few bucks on gas. My current employer either thinks my car is getting tuned up or that I'm at a doctor's appointment. I either work from home or they simply don't dock my pay for it. So I guess cost comparison is relative based on the type of job you have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Women will smile even if they're not having a good time. Because they want to be polite. And even if they had a good time, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll want to see you again. You act like that's all it takes. But it doesn't. I've been on dates where I had an enjoyable evening talking and getting to know the person. But I didn't always want to see them again. Why? Because I learned something about them during the date that made me realize we wouldn't be a good match. Or maybe I just didn't feel any attraction to them. You keep asking me to tell you what you did wrong. And what I keep telling you is that you can do everything right and the person may still not be attracted to you.
Fair enough. And this will be the reason that I do not go on as many dates from here on out. Unless there is any significant reason to believe that it can work out, it's not worth my time or money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Seriously, do you not understand the concept of attraction. It doesn't matter if you're nice, polite, show interest, etc. If they're not attracted to you, why would they want to meet you again? That doesn't make them shallow. It just means they value their time.
Well, I find it difficult to believe that they aren't sure if they are attracted to my type when I have six wide-ranging pictures of myself plastered across my profile, when I've answered 600+ questions about who I am, and when I've spent the time to fill out my profile in detail about what I'm about and what I'm looking. If they don't know whether they are attracted to me by that, and the conversations we've had over PM, then there's something seriously wrong about them. These are not blind dates. They know who they are meeting before we meet.
You seem like someone who has zero experience with an online dating site.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
No, I'll tell you what I think is really going on. You're frustrated at going on these dates and having it lead nowhere. So instead of just accepting that these women weren't attracted to you, you now have to find fault with them. Rejection is part of dating. Stop taking it personally.
Certainly easy to say when you're not dishing out loads of cash on pointless dates. At the very least, I can say that I'm glad that OKC is not a pay-to-use site. Otherwise, this would be an utter nightmare.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Do you react this way when you apply for a job and the company rejects you?
No, but after reviewing your post history, it appears that you do. It's intriguing to me that someone who has clearly spent much time venting about work and employment stuff in the past is now on an anti-venting crusade because they apparently have had success in a particular area of their life. It's surprising that someone of your ilk wouldn't be a little more empathetic actually.
I don't think you're frustrated because you spent $10-20 on them. I think you're disappointed that they weren't direct with you and ignored your text/calls. You felt you were bending what you ultimately wanted, because you want to give them an equal chance. Like you stated, they were overweight and you only saw one of them relatively attractive. You feel that you were pretty honest with your profile; however, you felt they bent the truth on things within their profile.
Truthfully, there's just not a whole lot you can do about these kind of situations. I will admit that someone not being direct about their feelings towards me does suck, but at the same time, I'm still a stranger in their eyes. A couple of hours with someone still doesn't constitute that they owe me an explanation. I agree that it absolutely sucks that people bend the truth in their profiles, but think about it, they know their shortcomings and they still want to be able to date.
One thing that I've learned about women over the years is that always being the bridesmaid and never the bride is very frustrating for them. They equally get frustrated going on dates with people that they aren't attracted to either, but feel they have to date so they can hopefully wear the wedding gown someday and not purchase another damn bridesmaid dress.
If you are complaining about the money that you're spending on dates, than you need to be more selective on the dates you go on. It still doesn't guarantee that you will hit it off with that person, but dating is just something that is going to cost a little bit of money. If you're that concerned about money, than you either to be more selective about your dates or take yourself out of the dating game for a while and save up money in a "dates" fund.
I don't want a refund. I'm just requesting that they don't waste my time. I have a profile set up for a reason. You have several pictures of me to see what I look like. You have 600 answers to various relationship-related topics that show what kind of person I am. You have an elaborate profile about who I am and what I'm looking for. You have our extensive PM conversation history. So yes, you should have at least made up your mind at that point whether you were interested in someone like me, or at the very least, were willing to give it more than one date that you clearly had no intention of paying for.
Seriously, have you ever used an online dating service? Because you sound like you have not.
If someone agrees to meet you in person, then they're already interested in you. The whole point of the first date is to see if there's enough interest to warrant a second date. But it sounds like you want them to promise they'll go on a second date with you before you've even been on the first date? Seriously, do you even understand the concept of dating? It sounds like you don't. You talk about them wasting your time, as if they're supposed to know BEFORE the first date that the two of you won't have a great date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Great, you've pointed out things that have nothing to do with improving the actual dating experience, as was your previous suggestion. If their decisions were based entirely on looks, then that's pretty shallow on their part. Because four out of the five of them were overweight and not particularly attractive in a traditional sense and I was still willing to look past it if our interests were in line.
How do you know their decisions were based entirely on looks? If they're weren't attracted to you, it could've been for any number of reasons that had nothing to do with your appearance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
That's the least they could do. Seriously! The fifth one had no problem with telling me that it wasn't going to proceed romantically. And I actually appreciated her directness.
But yeah, disappearing on me or ignoring my calls/texts is equally as appealing, considering that I just dropped $10-$20 on you. But seriously, who needs or wants courtesy in today's day and age.
The more I read your posts, the more I'm convinced the problem really is you. A woman is polite and courteous, but you can't appreciate that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Yeah, it must be so difficult for them to walk or drive to a location in their neighborhood and spend a couple leisurely hours hanging out while I'm driving across town for their convenience and spending my hard earned money. Tell me again how much sympathy I need to have for them.
Oh poor you, having to spend your hard-earned money on women who actually showed interest in you. A couple leisurely hours? That's hardly a trivial amount of time. Are you suggesting your time is more valuable than theirs?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Sorry, but interviews don't cost me that much. If I went on 12 dates per month (3 per week) costing approx. $10-$20/ea, I'm spending anywhere between $120-$240 per month. If I go to a job interview, assuming it's in town, I spend a few bucks on gas. My current employer either thinks my car is getting tuned up or that I'm at a doctor's appointment. I either work from home or they simply don't dock my pay for it. So I guess cost comparison is relative based on the type of job you have.
Except I wasn't talking about cost in dollars, I was about talking about time. Please learn to read more carefully before responding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Fair enough. And this will be the reason that I do not go on as many dates from here on out. Unless there is any significant reason to believe that it can work out, it's not worth my time or money.
Oh I see. So you want some kind of assurance. Once again, I don't think you understand how dating works.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Well, I find it difficult to believe that they aren't sure if they are attracted to my type when I have six wide-ranging pictures of myself plastered across my profile, when I've answered 600+ questions about who I am, and when I've spent the time to fill out my profile in detail about what I'm about and what I'm looking. If they don't know whether they are attracted to me by that, and the conversations we've had over PM, then there's something seriously wrong about them. These are not blind dates. They know who they are meeting before we meet.
You seem like someone who has zero experience with an online dating site.
No, but you seem like someone who has very little experience with dating period. If they're agreeing to meet with you, then there's obviously some interest there. But how can they know just off a profile whether you'll have any chemistry? There is something seriously wrong with you if you expect women to know before they've even met you whether they'll like you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Certainly easy to say when you're not dishing out loads of cash on pointless dates. At the very least, I can say that I'm glad that OKC is not a pay-to-use site. Otherwise, this would be an utter nightmare.
I've spent money on dates that went nowhere. Is it fun? Of course not. But I don't see it as a waste. I see it as just a reality of dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
No, but after reviewing your post history, it appears that you do. It's intriguing to me that someone who has clearly spent much time venting about work and employment stuff in the past is now on an anti-venting crusade because they apparently have had success in a particular area of their life. It's surprising that someone of your ilk wouldn't be a little more empathetic actually.
No I'll tell you what's surprising. That you invoked my posting history, but couldn't cite any examples. Show me where I applied for a job, got rejected, and then criticized the company for wasting my time. That's exactly what you're doing with these women. You can't face that you were rejected and instead of dealing with it like an adult, you're bad mouthing them. Grow up.
I don't think you're frustrated because you spent $10-20 on them. I think you're disappointed that they weren't direct with you and ignored your text/calls. You felt you were bending what you ultimately wanted, because you want to give them an equal chance. Like you stated, they were overweight and you only saw one of them relatively attractive. You feel that you were pretty honest with your profile; however, you felt they bent the truth on things within their profile.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Thanks for getting it. There's nothing like meeting a socially awkward, overweight girl whose numerous selfies portray her as thin, and whose profile portrays her as active, energetic, and outgoing. And there's no greater feeling than having them completely flake on you and disappear after taking them out on a date, carrying the entire conversation, while they sat their struggling to say a few words.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
If you are complaining about the money that you're spending on dates, than you need to be more selective on the dates you go on. It still doesn't guarantee that you will hit it off with that person, but dating is just something that is going to cost a little bit of money. If you're that concerned about money, than you either to be more selective about your dates or take yourself out of the dating game for a while and save up money in a "dates" fund.
Yes, I agree. I'm going to be taking it easy on the dating scene from now on.
Sometimes I think we get really caught up on the idea of having other people like us. So we go a great distance out of our way to try and live up to another person's expectation of what we think they want to see from us. I've made myself feel so put down and left out so many times by the idea of not being accepted by somebody else. But at the same time, I was compromising on who I am. That's not fair to either me or the person I'm with at the moment.
This whole paragraph was fulled with egotistical voids. Living by another persons rules is living a world that is not your own. They control your happiness, which is wrong, you control yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
The fact of the matter is that you should continue being yourself. Don't try to fit somebody else's mold by acting how you think you should act for them to like you. Keep being who you are and the end result should be that you'll attract somebody who likes you for you.
You should be yourself while constantly improving yourself into a perfect mold that you can fit yourself into. One of the reasons why I appeared randomly on this forum is to exercise my own knowledge regarding life and relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
Now keep in mind, this doesn't mean that you should maintain bad habits. There may be actual things that you're doing that's hurting your chances at finding the one. And if you can get feedback, that is great. After a date that doesn't work out, feel free to ask the other person if there was anything you did that was off putting or a turn off. If they're a decent person, they should provide some quality feedback.
I hope somebody can take away something from my mistakes. Good luck out there! It's tough but ultimately worth it if you find the right fit.
"The one" doesn't exist. Attraction does not work that way, but fairy tales work that way!
Remove bad habits and always strive to be a better person for YOURSELF. The thing about "being yourself" is you can't really truly be yourself if you're a sucky person to begin with. You really have to sit down and evaluate yourself with burtal honesty. You should always be constantly improving, you can never be too "perfect." I would advise against asking "what you did wrong" because they will most likely tell you "I just wasn't feeling it." Attraction is not logical, and very few can put attraction into logical words that people can understand.
If someone agrees to meet you in person, then they're already interested in you. The whole point of the first date is to see if there's enough interest to warrant a second date. But it sounds like you want them to promise they'll go on a second date with you before you've even been on the first date? Seriously, do you even understand the concept of dating? It sounds like you don't. You talk about them wasting your time, as if they're supposed to know BEFORE the first date that the two of you won't have a great date.
This is not about my lack of understanding with regards to the concept of dating. The online dating sites are built to match you with someone who is similar to you. The entire idea that these sites are founded in is to make dating easier (so you're not just randomly picking out some person at the bar whom you may have nothing in common with). You know what the person is about by reviewing their profile, personality answers, and pictures. If you have a high compatibility rating with an individual, and yet you're still having this much difficulty accepting the other person for who they are (at least to the extent of giving it more than one date's worth of a shot), then something's wrong with you. You're picking out way too many little flaws in that person and festering over them and you're not being fair to that person or to yourself for that matter. People who do this wind up looking in the mirror ten years down the road asking themselves what the hell did they do all this time.
Bottom line is that unless I came across as a total tool or creeper, which I did not, there was no reason that any of these girls should have responded the way they did (disappearing, ignoring me). Have some courtesy! Be a grown-up and tell me what you are feeling. Don't be immature and hide from me. These are the small favors I ask for in return.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
How do you know their decisions were based entirely on looks? If they're weren't attracted to you, it could've been for any number of reasons that had nothing to do with your appearance.
Yep, sure, a number of reasons that I'll supposedly never know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
The more I read your posts, the more I'm convinced the problem really is you. A woman is polite and courteous, but you can't appreciate that.
Yes, because venting and frustration automatically translates into me being the issue. Tell me, is that why you had so many issues in regards to Work & Employment situations? Because your numerous whiny posts on that sub would seem to indicate that to me based on your logic in this thread. Or maybe I simply am just frustrated with people not portraying themselves accurately and ultimately flaking out on me afterwards after I've made an investment (while they've done jack-s**t). You seem to have very little appreciation for the fact that I've dumped money into these dates. I guess you only consider whining and venting as relevant when it impacts your life and your money (e.g. painful job hunting, wasteful interviews, numb-skull recruiters, etc.).
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Oh poor you, having to spend your hard-earned money on women who actually showed interest in you. A couple leisurely hours? That's hardly a trivial amount of time. Are you suggesting your time is more valuable than theirs?
Yes, the combination of my time, effort, and money is more valuable (especially to me). Walking to the local ice cream shop for a free cone or riding your bike to catch a free meal does not constitute much of a loss or investment of anything.
Again, shall we reference your numerous whiny posts from the Work & Employment sub to demonstrate how you like to talk out of both sides of your mouth about issues of time and money spent on wasted opportunities?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Except I wasn't talking about cost in dollars, I was about talking about time. Please learn to read more carefully before responding.
I understood what you were talking about. No need to get condescending towards me because I haven't accepted your premise. I just didn't think it was relevant to me, because my costs do not align with your argument.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Oh I see. So you want some kind of assurance. Once again, I don't think you understand how dating works.
It's less about having assurance than expecting some courtesy in return. Flaking out and disappearing, or acting as if I was some kind of creep (by ignoring me) is something I consider highly offensive. Especially since I basically made the date (funds, conversation, energy, etc.) while they simply showed up. This indicates to me that they probably weren't that interested to begin with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
No, but you seem like someone who has very little experience with dating period. If they're agreeing to meet with you, then there's obviously some interest there. But how can they know just off a profile whether you'll have any chemistry? There is something seriously wrong with you if you expect women to know before they've even met you whether they'll like you.
I mean, I've had a number of relationships prior to this stint of dating and I don't recall it ever being this excruciatingly painful and drab. There were girls I've had little chemistry with up front, but at least we gave it some time and allowed the relationship to develop. I don't know what type of lofty expectations these particular women had, but I'm sure we could have worked something out if they at least gave it a shot. IMO, some people make it nearly impossible for themselves to carry on a relationship because they pick out every minute flaw in the person they're meeting with. I'm not perfect, and nobody is, especially not these women (who could gain to lose a few pounds and show some charisma). Hell, I was even willing to look past all that because I'm not a shallow person. I'm the type of person that's willing to look past these flaws because I truly think that anything is possible. But yet, I'm still the one that gets "dumped". Awesome-sauce!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
I've spent money on dates that went nowhere. Is it fun? Of course not. But I don't see it as a waste. I see it as just a reality of dating.
Yep, and that's why I'll be significantly curtailing my dating budget.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
No I'll tell you what's surprising. That you invoked my posting history, but couldn't cite any examples. Show me where I applied for a job, got rejected, and then criticized the company for wasting my time. That's exactly what you're doing with these women. You can't face that you were rejected and instead of dealing with it like an adult, you're bad mouthing them. Grow up.
I invoked your post history because it's relevant in illustrating your hypocrisy. You're preaching to me about how these women owe me nothing while you've dedicated a lot of time boo-hooing about how inconsiderate employers have been with your time and resources. It just goes to show that that there are people who exist that whine and expect sympathy when one aspect of their life isn't going well and preach down to others when they have it made in some other aspect of their life. With lop-sided logic like that, it's difficult to take anything you say seriously.
I'm not asking for these women to sleep with me or anything crude like that. I'm just asking that A) they show some courtesy after the first date by at least letting me know what's up (that doesn't mean disappearing or ignoring me) and B) not wasting my time and money if they're not pretty darn sure about me or dating up front. What would make it even more ideal is if they laid down some cash on these dates so there is an equal share between us that is invested. I don't think that's asking too much.
"The one" doesn't exist. Attraction does not work that way, but fairy tales work that way!
I agree. And that's why dating has been made damn near impossible by some people. They're looking for the perfect match when it does not exist. I get it and that's why I'm willing to make exceptions for people who have flaws.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
