How did your past dating experiences (teenage years) affect your current dating life? (wife, girlfriends)

[LostinPhilly]

I'm one of those people who started dating (literally) at 20. As a "late bloomer", I'm curious to know if the dating experiences some of you had as teenagers have an impact on your current dating life as adults.

"Teenager" = 14-19

For instance, is the "love" you feel at 17 similar to the one you experience at 25 or 30?


Thanks!

[usamathman]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

I'm one of those people who started dating (literally) at 20. As a "late bloomer", I'm curious to know if the dating experiences some of you had as teenagers have an impact on your current dating life as adults.

"Teenager" = 14-19

For instance, is the "love" you feel at 17 similar to the one you experience at 25 or 30?


Thanks!

You are not a late bloomer. The good thing is that at 20 you know yourself better and are better able to make decisions regarding the opposite sex.

Take your time. No need to rush.

[srjth]

I started at 18. I still feel the same, but sadly, many of my male peers don't.

[woxyroxme]

I had a few girlfriends between 14 and 19, some were OK but most were b*tches, I put up with a lot but there was a pattern of dating someone who in the beginning was every thing I wanted but after a few months turned out to be a completely different person. After a really bad breakup after I had just turned 20 I rearranged my priorities and sought out someone who was a good person on the inside, had a lot of first dates, met girls at the bars that turned out to not be so interested when I called etc. I gave up on them much easier if I saw any lack of sincerity on their part. There was a girl I worked with that I really liked that I was pursuing, I had known her for almost a year but she would never give me a straight answer whether she would go out with me or not.

When the school year ended I went back to working my job running rides at an amusement park, the girl I spent a month trying to get to go out with me finally told me she was not interested, I met my wife later that day, over 30 years ago.

[Jenn--X]

You're not alone, OP. It's more common than you think for people to get into dating late. I think the reason the image of an active teen dating life persists in people's minds is because of TV. I'm beginning to think the reason the media keeps pushing that is because a lot of adults wish their lives had been like that, and it's an opportunity for them to fantasize, and re-write their own histories. Don't be fooled by that. I think that stereotype probably represents a minority of HS students.

[Nite Ryder]

I started dating while in the 8th grade and stayed with the same girl until we were seniors in high school when her parents broke us up because of their religious beliefs. I don't think there is ever another love like your very first one. This woman came back into my life briefly after 22 years (when I was divorced) she told me if her husband ever died, she would be on my door step before his body was cold. I eventually told her she was a little bit too late, and not to bother. But, I still have feelings for her and always will. I'm just smart enough now to know you don't always act on your feelings, no matter what they are. I love my wife and no one else matters, or will ever matter.

[kat949]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

I'm one of those people who started dating (literally) at 20. As a "late bloomer", I'm curious to know if the dating experiences some of you had as teenagers have an impact on your current dating life as adults.

"Teenager" = 14-19

For instance, is the "love" you feel at 17 similar to the one you experience at 25 or 30?


Thanks!

I think I was wiser as a teenager, actually in that the older I get the more I'm forgetting and forget more and know less.

I started dating at age 13? But, I was one of those smart girls who was very selective, and placed very strong and clear boundaries with guys, and I learned a lot from observing others and was keen about whom I let in emotionally.

I think with a lot of dating experiences, I've been more open to new experiences new learning, which is beneficial. At the same time, after a while I get bored. Like what's the point. People are people, and there isn't anything exciting about guys anymore. Especially at my age.

[NVplumber]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

I'm one of those people who started dating (literally) at 20. As a "late bloomer", I'm curious to know if the dating experiences some of you had as teenagers have an impact on your current dating life as adults.

"Teenager" = 14-19

For instance, is the "love" you feel at 17 similar to the one you experience at 25 or 30?


Thanks!

Lol....I didn't know what "love" for a girl was as a teen. Thought I did. Not. That time was pure chaos for me. I had just figured out what physical features I liked in a girl, but ...stimulating... mental and emotional factors were a big mystery. Oh, I loved conversation and such, but teenage girls had trouble with me there. My interests didn't turn their cranks, I liked to get deep in conversation , and I read a LOT. My Dad had a killer library, with some very good works.

Couldn't find a girl who thought talking about Nguyen Giaps Peoples War Peoples Army was interesting. Lmao. Whoda thunk? Consequently, I dated older women through my 20s. Only one was younger. She was 20 I was 25. Lasted about 8 months and was pure sex. The oldest was 38. One who was 31 when I was 26 I have to say was my first taste of feeling "love".

That's not a severe age gap, and we were good together. She was a nurse, and I've had a thing for nurses ever since. My current lady, who I KNOW I'm hopelessly in love with, is a nurse. Naaa, you're not blooming late man. You're just starting to figure out what makes you tick and developing a permanent personality and interests. Slow down and smell the flowers man. Life is just beginning.

[mrskay662000]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

I'm one of those people who started dating (literally) at 20. As a "late bloomer", I'm curious to know if the dating experiences some of you had as teenagers have an impact on your current dating life as adults.

"Teenager" = 14-19

For instance, is the "love" you feel at 17 similar to the one you experience at 25 or 30?


Thanks!

Not the same love. As an adult, I felt it deeper. But part of that was being more entwined with a person as an adult than as a kid. As a kid, you keep things compartmentalized. Family time, dinner, school, work, relationship. You try to blend the relationship into the other things, but there are forces which prevent it. Such as parents who refuse to let your SO come on vacation with you or Profs who only grade you on your final exam.

As an adult, I'm free to merge whatever I want. This creates a deeper bond.

The lessons learned as a youngster certainly do have an effect on me now. I realized that I was responsible in setting up the negative patterns of behavior in my relationships. As an adult, certain behaviors in others trigger "flash backs" (so to speak) of previous relationships. I am much quicker to dismiss a person because I don't view the relationship as viable if I detect those behaviors in him, which trigger certain behaviors in myself.

I dismiss people who trigger that part of me.

They feel like I've ghosted them. I don't want to be bothered with their desire to make a dramatic exit. If they didn't know it was coming then they didn't know me at all. Which is why the relationship ended. An explanation only feeds their desire for a dramatic exit. Which won't change my mind. Which is why they feel ghosted. But he's had all this time to pay attention to what I was saying. Affording him "closure" only gives him more time to not listen to me. Which is why I ended it to being with. This is going in circles.

*poof*

[Frayzer]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

For instance, is the "love" you feel at 17 similar to the one you experience at 25 or 30?

No.

Not sure if it's because we simply get older and more "mature" or because I learned the dynamics.