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I do, because fully adult men don't go around acting petulant about adult issues. Sex is a big deal; just because some men have been successful in scamming a few women into thinking it's not...don't think that everyone believes that.
"That three dates, three strikes put out or you're OUT" stuff is petulance. No mature woman with self respect is going stand for that. If you threaten to walk because she won't "come across" she'll think you're doing her a favor if you walk. She won't care. This is not college. Bedding women is not a "sport" Neither are women to be trifled with.
But why do you have such a negative view of it, that you feel it's necessary to patronize those who don't wait. If you believe that women are being coerced, you are very wrong. I would bet, from what I read on CD that I know a lot more about the woman on our first date, then you know after dating guys for two months.....how is it possible? Because I rarely meet anyone right away. I may take a few weeks of texting and calls. If I have someone I am going to meet, they will engage me in some intensive communications. So by the time I meet them, it's as if we already know each other. Stop it, not everyone has your beliefs, and your beliefs are very flawed, in my opinion, as you feel the same about mine, so I agree to disagree
I agree..... sex isn't a handshake, it is for some, but not for all, and if someone doesn't respect another person's boundaries then they just aren't compatible, no one is right or wrong, just not compatible that's all.
Sex complicates things, or at least it can for some people.
this is perfect, and you said it without using passive aggressive vocabulary.....right on
I do, because fully adult men don't go around acting petulant about adult issues. Sex is a big deal; just because some men have been successful in scamming a few women into thinking it's not...don't think that everyone believes that.
"That three dates, three strikes put out or you're OUT" stuff is petulance. No mature woman with self respect is going stand for that. If you threaten to walk because she won't "come across" she'll think you're doing her a favor if you walk. She won't care. This is not college. Bedding women is not a "sport" Neither are women to be trifled with.
Agreed. There's a teenage couple. They had sex recently, at 17, and she was asking if it was ok. She and her boyfriend had been together for 4 years already. Many, myself included, told her that was fine. So, if a teenage boy can be with a girl for 4 years and not have dumped her for not "putting out", I don't see why grown men can't wait a few months. They just don't want to, and don't care about the girl enough.
If people don't wanna wait, that's on them. They just have to meet people with the same ideals. And same for those who wanna wait. '
This is the 2nd topic I have seen about guys asking why anyone would wait for sex. Why is that so foreign? Because people have different beliefs and principles. It's not like the reasons for waiting are completely out of an alien custom.
But why do you have such a negative view of it, that you feel it's necessary to patronize those who don't wait. If you believe that women are being coerced, you are very wrong. I would bet, from what I read on CD that I know a lot more about the woman on our first date, then you know after dating guys for two months.....how is it possible? Because I rarely meet anyone right away. I may take a few weeks of texting and calls. If I have someone I am going to meet, they will engage me in some intensive communications. So by the time I meet them, it's as if we already know each other. Stop it, not everyone has your beliefs, and your beliefs are very flawed, in my opinion, as you feel the same about mine, so I agree to disagree
Nothing I say or don't say will stop individuals from rushing to have sex. No one is checking with me before they do whatever it is that they do, they are free to do as they please, so you stop it. I never used the word "coerce" that is your word, attempting to bait me.
Just curious...the women who rushed to have sex with you...have you married one of them yet, or at least dated them steadily out in the open, normally for at least a year?
Before I knew better, my husband and I had sex before marriage. We should have waited. We also dated when we shouldnt have.
Now due to religious beliefs, we are teaching our children Courtship and waiting for kissing, etc, including sex. Marriages today wouldnt have half the problems they do if they had based their beginnings on getting to know the person without physical aspects to it. Thats not to say marriages fail due to it but it would cut down on affairs, lust and being selfish.
Nothing I say or don't say will stop individuals from rushing to have sex. No one is checking with me before they do whatever it is that they do, they are free to do as they please, so you stop it. I never used the word "coerce" that is your word, attempting to bait me.
Just curious...the women who rushed to have sex with you...have you married one of them yet, or at least dated them steadily out in the open, normally for at least a year?
as a matter of fact I dated one for 3 years, and was married for 5, plus I've had several over 2. and another that lasted 6. Granted that everyone of them didn't end up as a relationship, but we tried, for a month or 4.....but not every relationship works out. Never ended because I dogged them out, or mistreated them. They ended because we weren't compatible for long term success, that's it.
Before I knew better, my husband and I had sex before marriage. We should have waited. We also dated when we shouldnt have.
Now due to religious beliefs, we are teaching our children Courtship and waiting for kissing, etc, including sex. Marriages today wouldnt have half the problems they do if they had based their beginnings on getting to know the person without physical aspects to it. Thats not to say marriages fail due to it but it would cut down on affairs, lust and being selfish.
How would it cut down on affairs, lust and being selfish?
If I had only known one man in my life in the biblical sense, I'd be very, very curious.
Maybe a partner who has been celibate is no better than someone who wants sex sooner...but you have to pretty much concede that the "is she banging other guys" concern is off the table. If you have a quality woman before you, there will be concerns about security, comfort and safety. Now if you don't care about dating quality women, "the field" opens up quite a bit more. Personally, I don't believe a man who is resistant to making a commitment to a quality woman who wants one, is deserving of her.
That's the thing, if they're gonna wait then they'd better be trustworthy and worth waiting for.
Some wait for self-respect, others do it to be selfish and controlling.
I assume the former is more common in women than the latter, it's just that I've already seen both.
That's the thing, if they're gonna wait then they'd better be trustworthy and worth waiting for.
Some wait for self-respect, others do it to be selfish and controlling.
I assume the former is more common in women than the latter, it's just that I've already seen both.
Now Bob the idea about the woman had better be trustworthy and worth waiting for...In the early stages of a relationship, how do feel about someone intoning what you had "better" do? Wouldn't you tell them to kick rocks? I mean you would probably think that you don't owe them anything at that point where you had "better" do anything.
And I would say, respectfully btw, maybe you should shift your focus from "is she WORTH waiting for" to her WORTH as a woman, a person and a potential partner for you. I get why men focus so heavily on sex. It's natural for them do so. The feeling of being entitled to sex may not cause any problem with one woman...and it would cause a doozy of a problem with another woman (usually the one you've decided you really want!)
Now Bob the idea about the woman had better be trustworthy and worth waiting for...In the early stages of a relationship, how do feel about someone intoning what you had "better" do? Wouldn't you tell them to kick rocks? I mean you would probably think that you don't owe them anything at that point where you had "better" do anything.
And I would say, respectfully btw, maybe you should shift your focus from "is she WORTH waiting for" to her WORTH as a woman, a person and a potential partner for you. I get why men focus so heavily on sex. It's natural for them do so. The feeling of being entitled to sex may not cause any problem with one woman...and it would cause a doozy of a problem with another woman (usually the one you've decided you really want!)
Nah, no one's entitled to anything. Most of the time, doing it too soon is obviously inappropriate because I don't know her. The timeframe on waiting, there just seems to be no right or wrong answer on that.
What I meant by "worth" in that last post was personality, not humanity. I'd rather wait on somebody that has great character, not a jerk who is being a tease. I'd just rather have someone with a healthy view on sex, and sees it as something to share. The most important thing I look for in women is their mentality.
Last edited by Bob-Man; 07-27-2014 at 11:13 PM..
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